An orchestra conductor calls 911. “Help! My oboe player swallowed his reed! What do I do?”
The 911 operator says “Simple. Have a muted trumpet cover the part.”
The museum planned a special exhibit to show off their collection [Long]
The museum planned a special exhibit to show off the collection. They had a wide array of historical music instruments from as far back as the 16th century. The museum planned to arrange a concert with a harpsichord that belonged to Bach and a violin that belonged to Vivaldi, among many other instru...
A bass guitar and an oboe had an affair.
It was very low key.
Two great musicians hated each other
And after years of always being compared to one another, they finally decided to have a duet of guitars to see which was the better player. They carefully selected an audience of musical experts, and with that they played.
After a fifteen minutes duet, the vote was cast. Amazingly, the result...
What do you call a homeless monkey in the woodwind part of an orchestra?
The oboe bonobo hobo.
My friend made a flute out of a carrot...
It was impressive, and if you gave her some sheet music, she would show you just how well it played.
My other friend, who's a bit competitive, made an oboe out of corn. He said he could play anything by ear.
An orchestra is tuning up for a challenging concerto; all but the first chair oboist.
She is not preparing for her performance. As the draw of the curtains approached, the conductor could no longer abide her inaction. He gritted, "why are you not preparing? Why haven't you habituated your instrument?" She retorted, "I don't believe in oboe warming."
I'm a band geek and love terrible band jokes. Here are some of my favorites!
How do you get two piccolos to play in tune? Shoot one.
What is the best use for a clarinet? Kindling.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawn mower? You can tune a lawn mower.
Some musician related jokes
Why can't a clarinet player keep a girlfriend? Whenever they start talking dirty, his voice cracks.
Why can't a French horn player keep a girlfriend? Whenever they start making out, his hand goes to the wrong place.
What do you call a euphonium player who isn't part of a military band?...
(Warning:lame music joke. I just came back from a classicical music concert) Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the oboe solo.