You stole my viola, cello, and double bass.

You made me so angry, I'm violint now.

​

Roses are red, Cellos are brown

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down ;)

What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.

I play my women like I play the cello.

I don't play the cello.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Octopus Joke Retold

So this guy walks into a bar with an Octopus. He is named the Amazing Octodad, seriously it's on his T-shirt. He heads to the bar, gets a beer and waits for the music to stop. A cute blonde gives a weird wtf look when a tentacle starts wriggling over to tickle her leg but Octodad just winks and says...

What does Yo-Yo-Ma say when he answers the door?

Cello.

A musician walks into a bar and orders a drink.

The bartender asks "Why the long face?"

"I play flute in a travelling orchestra" he said. "Last month, we played for the Ottoman sultan. He liked our performance and ordered to fill our instruments with sapphires. The cello got 1000 sapphires in, the drum got 2000 sapphires in, this piece of ...

What's the difference between Yo Yo Ma and Yo Mama?

One is a famous cello player


The other is a heinous fellow layer

Some musician jokes

Q. Why don't violinists play hide and seek?

A. No one would look for them.

Q. How can you tell if a stage is level?

A. Drool is coming out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.

Q. What is the definition of perfect pitch?

A. Tossing an accordion into a dumpster with...

How does a viola greet a relative?

Cello!

Terminator walks into a police station

He opens the first office and two police officers stand there mouths open. They reach for their pistols, but the Terminator opens his mouth and out shoots the sound of ear piercing violins. The police officers drop their pistols and clench their hands against their ears, but it's too much, their hea...

A girl asked if I play any Indian instruments.

I told her I play mandolin, violin and cello. Close, but no sitar.

How does Yo-Yo Ma answer the phone?

Cello?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An octopus walks into a bar...

Claiming that he can teach himself to play any instrument in a matter of minutes. The bar's patrons are sceptical and decide to test his boasted ability. First, they present him with a cello, to their astonishment he plays with ease. Next, he is provided a saxophone which also fails to present a cha...

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