Accordion Jokes

But I don’t believe that tuba true.

Replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected,

Terrorists have sympathisers.

of people do not realise I replaced the beginning of this joke with a musical instrument.

by a musical instrument.

Please don’t become angry and resort to violins if you don’t notice.

... The accordion player decides to pull over at a small pub with a sign reading "$1 Beer Night." He takes some change out of his car's cup holder -- enough for a couple $1 beers.

Inside, he stacks his change on the bar (mostly nickels and pennies) and pretends not to notice the bartender's e... read more

An accordion falling from an 8th story window and landing on a banjo.

I find that harp to belive though.

\*boom tish\*

Once you hear it, it's already too late.

An Accordion.

...I'll, uh, see myself out.

After a long night at performing at a local restaurant, an accordion player goes to have a few late night drinks. He drives up to the bar and goes inside. After finishing his first drink, he realizes he left his car unlocked! He rushed outside, opened the trunk of his car.....but it was too late...... read more

Now it’s a Honda Accordion.

They have two accordions

Polka haunt us

everybody leaves.

Imagine his shock when he returned half an hour later to find *two* accordions in the back seat.

When you pitch an accordion into a dumpster and it perfectly smashes a banjo.

...but playing the accordion could really harm a knee.

I once parked my car with my accordion in the back seat in a rough part of town. I was only gone a few minutes, but when I came back, somebody had smashed my rear windshield and thrown in two more accordions.

He writes to his wife that he is on an island surrounded by beautiful women and while he will try to be faithful, he needs something to distract himself from the war.
His wife writes back but sends a package along with her letter. The letter reads, "here's an accordion. I want you to practic... read more

He is on a ship near an island a long way from home, and he knows he will be there a long time. He sends a letter to his wife saying that there are lots of young and beautiful girls on the island. Could she send him something to distract him from them? She sends him an accordion with a note saying "... read more

Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine!" the blond... read more

Is like going hunting without an accordion

The shop assistant asks what he would like and the viola player says "Well, I've been playing the viola for years and I'm getting really tired of everyone pointing and laughing and acting like I don't know the first thing about music, so I'm thinking about taking up another instrument".

"Do y... read more

Accordion to a recent study, 90% of the world don't realise when a word has been swapped with an instrument.

>~~Stolen~~ Adapted from a comment thread on LiveLeak...

A guy was driving along in east Los Angeles and got a little thirsty. He pulled over to a little bodega to grab a drink. Because the neighborhood was sketchy, he parked and jumped out and ran inside real fast.

An old loiterer ... read more

He writes to his wife and tells her "I miss you so much, and I'm surrounded by gorgeous island woman every day. I need something to keep my mind off of them so I don't cheat."

The wife responds with a package and a letter that says "I miss you, too, and I have a solution to your predicament. ... read more