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Accordion to science,

You can switch out words for musical instruments, and most people won't notice.

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So, there was this accordion player who just finished his 4th bar mitzvah of the week. He tossed his accordion in the back of his '92 Geo Metro hatchback and took off for home.

As he drove, he rolled the windows down (with a manual handcrank) because his air conditioning was broken.

He tried to play his favorite cassette tape, Polka Floyd, but the music screetched to a halt as the tape from the cassette got hopelessly tangled in the tape deck.

More than a li...

Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

Please don’t become angry and resort to violins if you don’t notice.

Accordion to a scientific study released by the Department of Psychology at the University of British Columbia,

most people will not immediately notice if one of the words in a sentence has been replaced with a musical instrument until they've read more than three quarters of the way through it.

Accordion to a recent study...

Replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected,

What's the difference between an accordion player and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline.

Accordion to one study people don’t notice when you replace any given word with the name of a musical instrument

But I don’t believe that tuba true.

I was playing the squeeze box and a policeman told me to stop, so I acted accordioningly.

\*boom tish\*

There was an accordion player

He was going out for a drink after a show with his friend and was nervous about leaving his instrument in the car as he didn't want to get it stolen. His friend told him it was alright and nobody would try to steal an accordion. After a night of drinking they walk back to the car and notice a window...

Accordion to scientific studies, 90% ..

of people do not realise I replaced the beginning of this joke with a musical instrument.

Accordion to studies, its very easy to hide musical instruments in every day sentences.

I find that harp to belive though.

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Accordion and tuba duo

A party planner has organized a huge new year's eve party. At the last minute, the band he hired has to pull out because of death in the family. The planner is totally stressed out because he has 500 partiers and no band.

On December 30 he contacts the only local band that was avaliable, a du...

Accordion to several scientific reports and surveys,

When replacing words with instruments they tend to go unnoticed.

What’s the difference between an accordion player and a terrorist?

Terrorists have sympathisers.

An accordion player goes to a bar... (warning: dumb joke)

After a long night at performing at a local restaurant, an accordion player goes to have a few late night drinks. He drives up to the bar and goes inside. After finishing his first drink, he realizes he left his car unlocked! He rushed outside, opened the trunk of his car.....but it was too late......

An accordion player is getting sleepy at the wheel of his '93 Geo Metro hatchback, on his way home from playing at a bar mitzvah. His accordion lays on the passenger seat next to him...

... The accordion player decides to pull over at a small pub with a sign reading "$1 Beer Night." He takes some change out of his car's cup holder -- enough for a couple $1 beers.

Inside, he stacks his change on the bar (mostly nickels and pennies) and pretends not to notice the bartender's e...

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Read it slowly.

What do you call a haunted accordion

Polka haunt us

A bagpipe player, a banjo player and an accordion player all walk into a bar...

everybody leaves.

How is an accordion like an artillery shell?

Once you hear it, it's already too late.

A friend of mine once left his accordion in his unlocked car.

Imagine his shock when he returned half an hour later to find *two* accordions in the back seat.

Why didn't Bach buy his wife a new accordion?

He couldn't afford it; he was "Baroque".

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A drunk walks into a music store

Drunken man: "I want the trumpet and the accordion!"
The salesman answers that these are not for sale. The drunk leaves the store irritated.
The next day he comes back, more energetic: "I want the trumpet and the accordion!
The salesman is slightly annoyed, says that he will not sell them ...

Do you know the definition of"perfect pitch?"

When you toss a banjo into a dumpster & it hits an accordion!

Rough part of the hood.

I once parked my car with my accordion in the back seat in a rough part of town. I was only gone a few minutes, but when I came back, somebody had smashed my rear windshield and thrown in two more accordions.

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Pissed-off drummer is tired of people saying he's not a real musician.

Goes to the music store and says, "I'll show
'em. Gimme that red trumpet and that accordion."

Music store guy says, "You can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator has to stay."

A viola player goes into a music shop

The shop assistant asks what he would like and the viola player says "Well, I've been playing the viola for years and I'm getting really tired of everyone pointing and laughing and acting like I don't know the first thing about music, so I'm thinking about taking up another instrument".

"Do y...

How can you tell when you've found a really good rock n roll band in Minnesota?





They have two accordions

My Honda Accord was rear-ended by a truck.

Now it’s a Honda Accordion.

Playing the drums might hurt your arms...

...but playing the accordion could really harm a knee.

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.

Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine!" the blond...

What do you get when you wreck a Honda Accord into a Saturn Ion?

An Accordion.

...I'll, uh, see myself out.

A sailor leaves his wife to join the navy.

He writes to his wife that he is on an island surrounded by beautiful women and while he will try to be faithful, he needs something to distract himself from the war.
His wife writes back but sends a package along with her letter. The letter reads, "here's an accordion. I want you to practic...

A recently-married man is serving in the Navy.

He is on a ship near an island a long way from home, and he knows he will be there a long time. He sends a letter to his wife saying that there are lots of young and beautiful girls on the island. Could she send him something to distract him from them? She sends him an accordion with a note saying "...

Sketchy neighborhood

>~~Stolen~~ Adapted from a comment thread on LiveLeak...

A guy was driving along in east Los Angeles and got a little thirsty. He pulled over to a little bodega to grab a drink. Because the neighborhood was sketchy, he parked and jumped out and ran inside real fast.

An old loiterer ...

A sailor is stationed on an exotic island for months...

He writes to his wife and tells her "I miss you so much, and I'm surrounded by gorgeous island woman every day. I need something to keep my mind off of them so I don't cheat."

The wife responds with a package and a letter that says "I miss you, too, and I have a solution to your predicament. ...

Did you know?

Accordion to a recent study, 90% of the world don't realise when a word has been swapped with an instrument.

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A man walks into a bar...

Shadily dressed in a trench coat with the collar pulled up and a fedora pulled down over his face. A livid scar runs down his cheek, and his two tone shoes are dangerously polished. In his hands he's carrying an accordion case. The bar falls completely silent. All of the patrons turn pale and freeze...

Going to war without the French

Is like going hunting without an accordion

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