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Banjo Jokes

What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a banjo player?

A tattoo.

A couple of banjo jokes

Q: What's perfect pitch?

A: Tossing a banjo into a dumpster and not hitting the sides.



Q: What's the difference between a busload of banjo players and a busload of frogs?

A: More likely than not, the busload of frogs is going to a gig.

Banjo joke

I had to stop off at the grocery store with my banjo in the back. I went in and got some groceries. I came back and found that my rear window had been smashed in. Horrified, I looked inside and saw \*two\* banjos in the back.

What's the difference between the government and a banjo?

You can fix a banjo.

What did the guitar and banjo name their daughter?

Amanda Lynn

A true gentleman knows how to play Banjo,

But doesn't.

What’s the difference between a trampoline and a banjo?

You take your boots off when you jump on a trampoline!

How do you tell one banjo song from another?

They have different names.

How do you know when there’s a banjo player at the front door?

He’s got the wrong key and he doesn’t know when to come in.

What's the difference between a banjo player terrorist?

Terrorists have sympathizers.

Bonus joke:

What's the difference between a banjo and an AK-47?

>!The AK only repeats thirty times.!<

What's the difference between a banjo player and a squashed toad on the side of the road?

There is a slim possibility that the toad was on its way to a gig.

A bagpipe player, a banjo player and an accordion player all walk into a bar...

everybody leaves.

What's the most beautiful sound on earth?

An accordion falling from an 8th story window and landing on a banjo.

What's the difference between a guitar and a banjo?

A guitar can get you laid, whereas a banjo can get you laid with your sister.

What did the banjo say to the worried guitar?

Don't fret

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is a banjo solo like premature ejaculation?

You can feel it coming, but there's no way to stop it.

A banjo asked a fiddle to marry him. "Don't frett," he said. "Just duet and we'll live in harmony until the end of time."

Ten months later, the fiddle started to tip the scales. Her belly was noticeably bowed and before you could say concerto, out popped a minor.

Daddy banjo went to the Hyundai dealer and traded in his old Accent for a brand new Sonata. After just a month, mama fiddle lost her key at the bar and...

When do you know if you have perfect pitch?

When you pitch an accordion into a dumpster and it perfectly smashes a banjo.

TIL: The guy who invented the toothbrush plays the banjo in his spare time.

Anyone else would have called it a teethbrush.

Getting the gig.

There was a last-minute New Year’s Eve gig that opened up, that was taken by a tuba player and a banjo player.

They rocked the house all night, and when the gig was ending, the host asked if they would do the gig the following year.

The banjo player said, “ We’d LOVE to!!! … Can we lea...

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Canoe

Three explorers - a preacher, a poet and a banjo player - are lost in the jungle and captured by a tribe of cannibals.

The cannibals tell the three they will be sacrificed to provide skins for the tribal canoes - and because this is such an important and sacred ritual, each of them can make...

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Old country road

A young man walks down country road every day by an old man and his banjo sitting on his porch.

Walking down the country road on his first day of summer, he was carrying chicken wire. The old man asked, “hey boi, where ye goin with that there chicken wire” To which the boy replied, “I’m goin...

It my Reddit bday. Celebrate and sing with me the dirtiest clean song you’ll ever sing!

Sing this out loud:

There once was a farmer who lived by a crick,
And every morning he played with his banjo,
In the moonlight, to the lady next door,
And you could tell just by looking that she was a,
Decent young lady who lay in the grass,
And when she rolled over you could s...

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Bar joke

Man walks into a bar with an octopus, bartender asks him to leave, man says "this is a special octopus and he can play any instrument in the world", bartender says "if thats true not only can you stay but your drinks are free". Man sits down and the bartender passes a flute, sure enough the octopus ...

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Magical Octopus

There was once a Man who traveled with the local fair, portraying his Magical Octopus. One fair a little boy cam up and said "how is he magical?" the man replied with " he can sing and play any instrument" so the little boy handed over his harmonica to the octopus. The octopus glanced at it, picked ...

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Stolen from the broken shower thread: hillbilly joke

Two hillbillies got married. On their wedding night, the hillbilly groom admitted that he was a virgin and didn't really know what to do.

The hillbilly bride, who was much experienced, just giggled and said, "Silly, you just take that thing you play with and put it where I pee." So he got up...

Top10 signs your son is too old for breast feeding

10. He can open your blouse by himself; with one hand.

9. While suckling at one breast, he caresses the other.

8. He has developed a bad habit of flicking his tongue.

7. He keeps slipping dollar bills in your belt.

6. He uses your milk as creamer for his coffee.
<...

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What is the difference between a toilet bowl and a waiter?

The toilet bowl serves only one asshole at a time.

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And yes, I know it is the joke number 9723442 in the list. However, after eating tonight very good food in a proper Italian restaurant next to a family group that would probably be excellent in performing the duelling banjos, I just ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A County Sheriff is driving down a desolate highway, through the woods in Georgia.

He sees a man, completely naked, tied up to a pine tree - arms completely around it, bent down on his knees, with his ass facing the road. The Sheriff pulls over - removes a balled up sock out of the guy's mouth, and asks him what happened.

The guy says, "I picked up a hitchhiker in town 20 ...

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