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Harmonica Jokes

I gave my kid a harmonica for Christmas.

And unfortunately he loves it.

The guy at my local music shop asked me why I'm always coming in to buy new harmonicas

I told him "I blow right through them"

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Three new cellmates are contemplating their life sentences in prison.

The first guy pulls out a deck of playing cards and says, “Don’t worry, guys. I brought these cards with me so that we can play poker to pass the time.”

The second guy pulls out a harmonica and says, “I brought this harmonica so that I can play some music to cheer us up when we’re feeling dow...

You know, for a song titled, "Piano Man..."

The guy with the harmonica sure won't shut the hell up.

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Why are prisoners always playing harmonicas?

They don't have a choice, it's the only instrument that fits up their ass.

An old man walks into a bar. He apologises to the barman, he has no money.

But, if he were allowed to entertain the clientele, maybe the barman could give him a drink on the house. The barman tells him go ahead.

The old man reaches into a bag beside him and takes out harmonica, then a tin box and finally a duck.

He places the box on the floor, the duck on t...

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Magical Octopus

There was once a Man who traveled with the local fair, portraying his Magical Octopus. One fair a little boy cam up and said "how is he magical?" the man replied with " he can sing and play any instrument" so the little boy handed over his harmonica to the octopus. The octopus glanced at it, picked ...

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Two Cows - Matthias Varga

* SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbor


* COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk


* FASCISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk


* NAZISM

You ...

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New inmates are lined up to go into prison

Guard in front yells "Everyone have your personal effects out for inspection! You ate allowed ONLY ONE item!"

Towards the back of the line a new inmate asks the guy in front of him, "Hey buddy....what you bringing in?"

The reply was "pastels and chalk. Gonna teach myself how to draw. ...

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A drunk walks into a bar holding and octopus.

Drunk walks up to the bartender, places his octopus on the bar next to him and says, I’ll bet you this octopus can play any musical instrument you put in front of him he’ll play it. Drinks free for me all night if I win. Bartender agrees; he hands the octopus a guitar, and he starts playing the gui...

A man saw a boy sitting on the curb, crying.

He said "Why are you sad, little boy?"

Kid said "I lost my harmonica." The kind man then gave the sullen boy a razor blade, which the boy happily started playing on, and his smile just grew wider and wider.

Josef King was a remarkable man

Josef King was a remarkable man. Both his parents died in a car accident when he was just a little boy. He spent his whole childhood in different foster homes, unable to afford any games and living in poverty. One day, as he spent the afternoon begging on the street, he heard a man playing on his ha...

Bob the Sailor & Ollie the Octopus walk into a bar...

Bob the sailor walks into a bar carrying a large octopus. He announces to the bar that this octopus can not only talk, but he has a very unique talent which he will share with the crowd for $50 a turn.

Bartender says "There's no way that octopus can talk."

"Sure he can. Ollie, tell the...

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The Musical Octopus

A guy walks into a bar carrying a bucket.

Bartender ask's "what's in the bucket"?

Guy say " it's my octopus and he plays musical instruments ".

Bartender says " bullshit "

Guys says " I bet you free drinks, he will play whatever you got "

Bartender says " fine, her...

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