This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You stole my viola, cello, and double bass.

You made me so angry, I'm violint now.

What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?

The coffin has the dead person on the inside.



(Disclaimer: I'm a violist. Fellow bratsche players, please don't take offense.)

What's the difference between roadkill and a viola in the middle of the road?

There are skid marks leading up to the roadkill.

How does a viola greet a relative?

Cello!

How many viola players does it take to change a lightbulb?

None - they can't reach that high

What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off before jumping on a trampoline.

How do you keep a violin from being stolen?

Put it in a viola case.

What did the viola say to her daughter before crossing the street?

You better C^♯ or you'll B^♭

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is a viola solo like premature ejaculation?

Even when you know it's coming, there's nothing you can do about it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A violist's 3 wishes...

Joe is a violist in the Kansas Radio Symphony. One day, as Joe is walking home from work, viola in hand, he stumbles across a peculiar looking lamp. Being utterly dissatisfied with his life, Joe rubs the lamp, and a genie appears.



"Waddya want?" the genie asks in a Jersey accent. Joe ...

What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly?

Viola.

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