My dad went to his girlfriends house for the first time when he was in college...
It was thanksgiving dinner, and he had been invited over since they had been dating for well over two years. In the middle of the meal, he felt a fart brewing. Hoping it wouldn’t be a sphincter-symphony, he lifted a cheek and slowly let it out. To his dismay, it was audible (though more of a piccolo...
How do you get two Piccolo players to play in tune?
Depends which one you want to shoot.
I got suspended for bringing a piccolo to school.
They told me it was too sharp
So two orchestral conductors were walking down the road...
One turns to the other and says: "Was that your piccolo player I saw you rehearsing with last night?"
The other conductor replies: "That was no piccolo! That was my fife!"
*I'll see myself out. Ow! Stop throwing things.*
What is Piccolo (From DBZ)'s favorite kind of truck?
A long time ago a man was walking around the streets of Vienna...
...when he spied an old friend of his. "Boris!" he yells. "I haven't seen you in ages! How have you been?"
"Well," Boris replied, "I am the piccolo player for an International Orchestra."
"Spectacular!" the man replied.
"It is not what you might think, my friend. We play for ...
What kind of instrument can you make with a gherkin?
Some musician related jokes
Why can't a clarinet player keep a girlfriend? Whenever they start talking dirty, his voice cracks.
Why can't a French horn player keep a girlfriend? Whenever they start making out, his hand goes to the wrong place.
What do you call a euphonium player who isn't part of a military band?...
I'm a band geek and love terrible band jokes. Here are some of my favorites!
How do you get two piccolos to play in tune? Shoot one.
What is the best use for a clarinet? Kindling.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawn mower? You can tune a lawn mower.