The 15+ Best Scientifically Jokes

It has been scientifically proven that birthdays are good for your health....

The more of them you have, the longer you live!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys…

Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of forty…

best bit about having a baby

The best thing about having a baby is that you can tell them "you suck" for an entire year and be scientifically accurate

How to deal with a toxic ex: 100% accuracy and scientifically proven to work.

Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."

What makes certain plants scientifically related to each other?

The family tree.

It's been scientifically proven ants can't get Covid-19

They have little antibodies

It's been scientifically proven that John Lennon did some much LSD in the 60s.....

That he fell in love with Yoko Ono.

It has been scientifically proven that women with few pounds extra tend to live a lot longer than...

...men who point that out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know there's a food that's scientifically proven to kill a woman's sex drive?

Wedding Cake.

What's the scientifically proven amount of sleep we all need in the morning?

"Just 5 more minutes."

Why was Al Gore scientifically a great dancer?

Because of his Al Gore Rythyms.

What do u call a comedian scientifically?

A humor being!

It is scientifically proven that those who vaccinate have higher rates of autism.

Because the non-vaccinated children never lived long enough to be surveyed.

Astronomers got tired of watching the moon go round the earth for 24 hours, so they called it a day.

I'm sorry.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was “something wrong” with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.

“He’s just lying there looking sick,” he told me. “I’m serious, Dad . Can you help?”

I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

“Honey,” I ...

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