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Scientifically Jokes

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It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys…

Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of forty…

It has been scientifically proven that birthdays are good for your health....

The more of them you have, the longer you live!

What makes certain plants scientifically related to each other?

The family tree.

It's been scientifically proven ants can't get Covid-19

They have little antibodies

It has been scientifically proven that women with few pounds extra tend to live a lot longer than...

...men who point that out.

How to deal with a toxic ex: 100% accuracy and scientifically proven to work.

Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."

Why was Al Gore scientifically a great dancer?

Because of his Al Gore Rythyms.

It's been scientifically proven that John Lennon did some much LSD in the 60s.....

That he fell in love with Yoko Ono.

What's the scientifically proven amount of sleep we all need in the morning?

"Just 5 more minutes."

Two boys were doing an exam.

First boy entered, and the teacher asked him:

"Who was the first Black president of USA?"

"Barack Obama."

"When did World War II begin?"

"1939."

"Do aliens exist?"

"It isn't scientifically proven."

The boy exists with good result and says to the other...

It is scientifically proven that those who vaccinate have higher rates of autism.

Because the non-vaccinated children never lived long enough to be surveyed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know there's a food that's scientifically proven to kill a woman's sex drive?

Wedding Cake.

Astronomers got tired of watching the moon go round the earth for 24 hours, so they called it a day.

I'm sorry.

best bit about having a baby

The best thing about having a baby is that you can tell them "you suck" for an entire year and be scientifically accurate

A little girl asks her mom where babies come from.

The mom has been preparing for this so she explains the process using scientifically correct terms but in a way the young girl can understand. Afterwards she asks, "Do you have any questions?"

The little girl thinks for a few seconds and then says, "How does the daddy's sperm get into the mo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The thinnest wire

In the 70s there was a worldwide scientific conference and the US was the dominant country with its post-WWII scientific advancements towering over all others. Teeming with overconfidence the US team spent the entire conference heckling the Japanese delegates who were put beside them and were not as...

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