My astronomy loving son asked me “how stars die?”

“Usually an overdose.”

My wife says she’s leaving me because she thinks I’m too obsessed with astronomy.

What planet is she on?!

How does the government remember the difference between Astronomy and Astrology?

Simple.

Just like with "Eco-", you don't consider it a science if it ends with "-logy"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I was really disappointed when I came last in the astronomy competition, but they still gave me a map of the stars just for participating.

It was a constellation prize

What's the difference between Astrology and Astronomy?

About 50 IQ points.

So my science teacher began her astronomy unit with star formation

She gave a stellar explanation.

My astronomy professor told me it was possible for a white dwarf to turn into a red giant

I then told him to pull his pants back up.

I tried to take an astronomy class

But remembering all those constellations really took its Ptolemy.

An astronomy teacher prepared two boxes filled with joke cards. The first box was designed with asteroids and the second one with comets. He then let one of this students pick a box...

The student picked the one designed with asteroids. He pick one card and read the joke out loud to the class. The class, however, doesn't find the joke funny. Seeing this, the professor made the student pick another card on the same box. Same thing happened. The confused student look at his teacher ...

I spent four years at college studying astronomy and didn't learn anything...

I guess you could say I took up space.

What's the difference between astronomy and gastronomy?

Astronomy is about things too big to wrap your head around, while gastronomy is about things small enough to wrap your head around.

I've been getting into astronomy so I installed a skylight...

The people who live above me are furious.

My astronomy professor told me

I was his star pupil.

My Friend Failed Astronomy...

I failed too, if it's any constellation.

So I entered an astronomy contest the other day...

...I didn't come first but I did get a constellation prize. :-)

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two university professors were arguing...

...over who was the better teacher. The first professor boasts that he could teach anybody any subject in a matter of days, so the second professor makes a proposal. He tells the first professor that if he really can teach anyone, then he should have no problem going downtown, finding a prostitute, ...

Where are all the women in amateur astronomy?

At the other end of the telescope.

There was this astronomer.

He browsed r/jokes everyday and after a while he realised that the same jokes were posted over and over again.

He decided to start posting one joke a day, after his morning astronomy sessions.

His jokes were always well received and every so often one of his jokes would reach the fro...

13,700,000,007

A man asks the worker at the astronomy museum how old the universe is. He responds 13.7 billion and 7 years old.

The man is puzzled how the worker knew the age to such precision. The worker answered, “When I got this job, the person who hired me told me that the universe is 13.7 billion years...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man walks into a bar...

A man walks into a bar on the top floor of a tall building and has a seat on an empty stool next to a guy with glasses. Our guy orders a beer, looks to his barstool neighbor and makes eye contact, lifts his pint in a silent toast, and enjoys a healthy swig.

"You know," interrupts the guy with...

When you wish upon a star

... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. 

The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

Some sciences as per my high school nephew...

Geology: All hail the Rock!
Psychology: brainception
Genetics: Punett squares and percentages
Chemistry: what is water?
Biology: no math for the love of God
Physics: 1001 ways to throw things
Astronomy: the nerds of the science world

A blonde was lying in the grass...

One afternoon, a college student is walking across the Green and sees a pretty blonde lying in the grass staring up at the clear blue sky.

"Getting a tan?" he asks.

"No! Do you think that just because I'm blonde I'm focussing on my looks? I'm actually a very good student and right now ...

A scientist is dining with a duke one day...

A scientist is dining with a duke one day, talking of chemistry and such. All is going well until the duke rings a bell and demands a test tube from his butler, who brings it to him forthwith. The duke sticks it in his pants, lets loose a thunderous fart, then caps the tube and hands it to the shock...

So a popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed...

...A guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "120." So the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, and so on.

The man listened intently and thought, "This is really cool." Another guy came in for a drink and the robot asked hi...