A beautiful young psychologist conducted an experiment

She asked 2 men, a mathemetician and an engineer to disrobe and stand on one side of the room. She then undressed and stood on the other side.

She told them to come half the distance towards her. Each man took eight steps forward. Amunute later, she again told them to come half the distance ...

what does Schrodinger's 101th experiment looks like?

1 not 1

Did you hear about the recent cosmetics experiments on baby kittens?

Those turned out to be a big

Cat astrophe

Researchers have recently started using lawyers instead of rats in their lab experiments.

You don’t get so attached to them, and there are some things a rat just won’t do.

Where in the fridge do you store your genetic experiments?

In the CRISPR drawer.

Did you hear about the experiment where they shot people of different race out of a cannon?

I heard it passed with flying colors.

some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.

For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs. For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The...

The experiment ran away, sir.

Which one?

Witch 1.

That's what I asked.

For an experiment, a chemistry teacher takes out a $20 bill and put it's in a bottle of ethanol. He then ask his students if it will dissolve.

*A student raise his hand to answer.*

Student: No it won't dissolve sir.

Teacher: Really good! Now can you explain to the rest of the class why?

Student: You're so cheap, there's no way you would've sacrificed that $20.

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My girlfriend asked me whether I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school, and I told her yes.

Unfortunately I was part of the control group.

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What do you call somebody who experiments with Viagra

A try hard

My wife put up with my culinary experiments until I put ginger in the curry

She loved that cat.

What did the Pie scientist use for their experiment?

A peach tree dish.

A guy sees a sign that says, "Volunteers needed for medical experiment. $500 fee!"

So he goes in and they tell him they need humans to mate with gorillas. The guy thinks about it for a second, then says, "I'll do it under three conditions: 1) No one can find out that I did this. 2) If there are any offspring, they should be treated humanely. 3) I'm gonna need some time to come up ...

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A group of doctors in a psychiatric ward wanted to look for an improvement in the mental stability of their patients, so they devised an experiment. A doctor put 5 patients in one room.

While in the room, this doctor went to the wall and drew a door (with a door knob and a keyhole). He told the 5 patients in the room to figure out how to open the door.



1st patient waved at the doctors, and tried to open the painted door.

2nd patient kept shouting at the door "...

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Five monkeys - an experiment

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.

As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monk...

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An elderly couple were watching a Discovery Channel special about a West African bush tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long.

When the black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the penis to 24 inches.

Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his wife looked at him and said, "How about we try the Af...

A researcher is experimenting on a frog

He says: "Jump!".

The frog jumps, and the man writes down: " The frog with four legs jumps".

He then cuts one of the frog's legs and says: "Jump!".

The frog jumps, and the man writes down: "The frog with three legs jumps".

He then cuts another leg and says: "Jump!".
...

A scientist is conducting an experiment to determine whether frogs can follow simple commands.

A scientist is conducting an experiment to determine whether frogs can follow simple commands. He begins with a healthy, four-legged frog, and says, “Jump, frog, jump!”

Right on command, the frog jumps.

He then cuts off one of the frog’s legs says “Jump, frog, jump!”, the frog still ju...

An old professor of Particle Physics and his assistant were having beers at a pub in London when the conversation drifted to the experiments with the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva, Switzerland.

The assistant mentioned one of the wonderous things the famous particle collider can do. "The Collider can accelerate protons," the assistant began.

The professor smiled and said, "Yes, I've seen it do that, personally."

Surprised and intrigued that his mentor had worked with ...

In the late 1940s a group of physicists got their hands on a battleship gun barrel to use for their experiments.

So they modified and used the barrel as a particle accelerator.

But the problem was that the actual machines they used for the experiment was on one end of of the barrel or the other. So it was very difficult for them to adjust parts of the experiment.

So what they did is that they wo...

God does an experiment with US Marines...

One lofty Sunday God looks down and sees a boat of six Marines paddling in the ocean, chanting; ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR...United States Marine Corps.

Impressed by their focus and intensity he ponders; "What would happen if I removed half their brain powers" and does so. "ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR...Unit...

I did a social experiment on campus

I was having a bad day one week so I decided to try something at my college. I stood in the middle of campus and held up a sign that read "hug me" in hopes that maybe somebody would come around and cheer me up. I waited for 10-20 minutes and then people started walking up. I got so many hugs and it...

A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment.

They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said "this is pointless" and stormed off". The engineer agreed to go...

A scientist decides to conduct an experiment on the anatomy of arachnids, so he takes a spider and puts it on his table.

“Walk!”, he yells, and the spider starts skittering away. The scientist writes the results down: “when a normal spider is told to walk, it walks.”

He then takes the spider and plucks one of its legs out. He then sets it on the table and yells the same thing,“walk!”

The spider starts wa...

I'm doing a science experiment on comedy where I tell people a joke and see their reaction.

Welcome to the control group.

Why did Philip Zimbardo prematurely end his infamous prison experiment?

His girlfriend put her foot down and said “I can’t Stanford this.”

A Mathematician, A Physicist and A Chemist were on a Beach

They decided to put their expertise to use and conduct some research. The Math man said, "I'll jump into the water and measure the depth of the ocean." The Physicist said, "I will go and examine the density of the water at various depths." The Chemist said, "I will use the data you both collect and ...

Open relationships

A husband and wife are sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner. Suddenly the wife looks up at the husband and says "You know what honey? I've been thinking about it for a while and I would like to experiment with an open relationship."

The husbands eyes light up, "Yes! This is gonna be gre...

A Psych Professor was conducting an experiment with a Psych Student...

There was half of a glass of water sitting on a small table. They would have the subjects of the experiment (other students from the University) come in and describe what they see. Depending on the students’ answers, they would determine their personality type.

The first student comes in and ...

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A Greek, A German and An Italian get stranded after a plane crash.

They wander for days until finally they see something in the distance. They approach and are found by some local tribesmen and are accused of trespassing their village. Immediately they are led in front of the local leader:

"I am in a good mood so I will let you go if you participate in a sma...

All the anti gravity experiments I conducted gave my son terminal cancer

It was incredibly hard to put him down.

A mathematician and a physicist agree to a psychological experiment.

The mathematician is put in a chair in a large empty room and a beautiful naked woman is placed on a bed at the other end of the room. The psychologist explains, "You are to remain in your chair. Every five minutes, I will move your chair to a position halfway between its current location and the w...

A teacher does a classroom experiment

The teacher has three jars, one filled with alcohol, one filled with cigarette smoke, and one filled with soil.
The teacher puts a few worms in each jar and says to the students “we’ll see which jar is thriving tomorrow.”
The next day the worms in the jars with the alcohol and cigarette smoke ...

Nasa was experimenting with different animals in space.

Monkeys were an obvious choice, but they had no patience. Mice chewed all the cables, dogs were too stupid and chickens were always scared. It seemed the only animal that could cope with the intense stress of space travel was a chilled out alley cat.

After a few months of testing and training...

A group of scientists conducted an interesting experiment on frogs.

They wanted to see how cutting off the legs of frogs would affect them.

In one of the experiments, a scientist told the frog to jump. It didn't.

The scientists concluded that cutting off the legs of frogs would make them deaf.

"Professor, what organic compound do you need for the experiment, Amine or Benzene?"

- Ether is fine

My ex-girlfriend saya she experiments with girls, once a week.

"She must be bi-weekly."




Just thought of this. Any input is welcomed.

Three Doors Experiment

Three men volunteered for the Three Doors Experiment. To survive you must get past each door. Behind door one, 8 hours in a tiger pit. Behind door two, 8 hours with 50 of the most beautiful and ravenous women in the world. And Behind door three, all the wine a man could drink in a lifetime.

...

They find two 5-year olds, an optimist and a pessimist, and decide to do an experiment

They put the pessimist in a room full of the latest toys and gadgets, and tell him he can do whatever he wants. Then they close the door. They put the optimist in a room full of horse manure and tell him he has to stay there. Then they close the door.

After an hour they open the door on the p...

I’ve been experimenting with iron, carbon, and aluminum to make a better toilet. I’m going to write a whitepaper on my results.

It’s titled “The FeCAl Matter.”

Dr. Frankenstein is experimenting with a new monster made with a cheese body.

It's Frankenstein's Muenster.

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An interesting experiment

There was this specially talented musician, he could play almost any instrument, conduct an entire orchestra and compose like anyone else.

So, a couple scientists were very interested in finding how his brain works.

The musician agreed with a bizarre experiment, he would let the scient...

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Creation of the German-Japanese Alliance, 1940

Hirohito: Thank you for phone call Mr. Fuhrer. We ask you now: you said you Aryans?

Hitler: Ja! Ze superior race! We are invincible! We will abduct your inferior race for our experiments! With our advanced weaponry we will take over zis world!

Hirohito: Very well. No more question. Th...

A vampire was giving a presentation at a career fair.

The vampire, being hundreds of years old, had decided to conduct an experiment to see which career path was the most rewarding. He had every degree and certification you could imagine, but he settled on a surprising choice: cleaning mirrors.


When questioned, he said, "There's something ab...

Scientists have come up with a new name for experiments that utilize placebos

Trick or treatment

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USS Placentia

His ship's compliment stood at attention on the dock. The boat, a Virginia class submarine in the United States Navy floated behind him, the sail, blocking out the sun as rose in the east. Captain Johnson stepped onto the dais and walked up to the microphone to addressed his crew.

"Men, I'm...

Did you hear about the science experiment where they successfully transferred human DNA into a dog?

They say the scientist spent too much time in the lab.

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What is a sex-addicted chemist’s favorite experiment?

Making a hormone.

My girlfriend said we should experiment more in the bedroom

This morning we synthesised a new protein chain

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A Redditor got bored and decided to try an experiment...

There was a case of Coca Cola in the corner of the basement, next to a case of store-brand Cola. He decided to test the effects of each on the ants that infested the basement. He spilled a small puddle of each on the floor and watched as the ants crowded around the sugary liquids. At some point the ...

As a social experiment, I wore a fat suit for 1 month.

It was a test to see what it was like to be your mom.

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A guy was recruited for the first settlement on another planet....

The Settlement Chief met him on the landing site.

"This place is going to take some getting used to. It's like a mirror version of Earth. The elements which are rare on Earth are the most abundant here while the common elements are extremely rare."

"So why are we here then," the guy a...

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