For an experiment, my son as been wearing a different Manchester United top for two weeks. So far he's been spat at, verbally abused, and punched...

God knows what will happen to him when he leaves the house.

My son is taking part in a social experiment where he has to wear a t-shirt saying "GO VEGAN" for 2 weeks and see how people react.

So far, he has been punched, spit on and a bottle thrown at him!

I'm curious to see what happens when he goes outside.

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A group of scientists was doing an experiment involving the bacteria in feces. They asked for donations of fecal matter from the public...

...but nobody gave a crap

In college I experimented with marijuana. I did it in snow and I did it in sleet

But I did not in hail

(Not mine) There was an experiment: a physicist, an engineer and a mathematician were locked up in in three absolutely empty rooms for 8 hours. Each of them was given a chest of food that should be unlocked somehow. After the term passed, the experimenters opened the door with the physician...

He was fine. Next to him was a broken empty chest. They asked "How did you manage to open it?". The answer was "I was simply throwing the chest against the walls and it broke". Then the experimenters opened the room with the engineer. He was also Ok and he he said that he had opened the chest after ...

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Self isolation experiments

Do you know if you rest a testicles on top a beer bottle and put a naked flame under the bottle eventually it’ll pop in? If you did know that and know how to get it back out message me.... urgently.

My son is doing a social experiment for school

For a week he will be wearing an "I love liberals!" hat everywhere he goes and record the reactions he observes from people he meets. So far he has been cussed at, spit at, yelled at, slapped twice and even had a bottle thrown at him. Its really quite awful, im not sure whats going to happen to hi...

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I did an experiment with frogs in high school science class.

I set the frog down in front of me and told it to jump. The frog jumped beautifully up into the air.

So, I cut off one of its front legs. Then I said: "frog, jump!"
And the frog jumped. It was at a slight angle, but it wasn't too bad.

Then I cut off its second front leg and told it ...

For an experiment, a chemistry teacher takes out a $20 bill and put it's in a bottle of ethanol. He then ask his students if it will dissolve.

*A student raise his hand to answer.*

Student: No it won't dissolve sir.

Teacher: Really good! Now can you explain to the rest of the class why?

Student: You're so cheap, there's no way you would've sacrificed that $20.

A beautiful young psychologist conducted an experiment

She asked 2 men, a mathemetician and an engineer to disrobe and stand on one side of the room. She then undressed and stood on the other side.

She told them to come half the distance towards her. Each man took eight steps forward. Amunute later, she again told them to come half the distance ...

what does Schrodinger's 101th experiment looks like?

1 not 1

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Tribal experiment

. We were watching a Discovery Channel special about a West African black tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long. When the male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight. Af...

Researchers have recently started using lawyers instead of rats in their lab experiments.

You don’t get so attached to them, and there are some things a rat just won’t do.

Where in the fridge do you store your genetic experiments?

In the CRISPR drawer.

Did you hear about the experiment where they shot people of different race out of a cannon?

I heard it passed with flying colors.

some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.

For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs. For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The...

The experiment ran away, sir.

Which one?

Witch 1.

That's what I asked.

A guy sees a sign that says, "Volunteers needed for medical experiment. $500 fee!"

So he goes in and they tell him they need humans to mate with gorillas. The guy thinks about it for a second, then says, "I'll do it under three conditions: 1) No one can find out that I did this. 2) If there are any offspring, they should be treated humanely. 3) I'm gonna need some time to come up ...

A man was concerned that his wife was losing her hearing.

So, he went to see a doctor but without his wife because he was afraid that his wife might get angry.

When he explained this to the doctor, the doctor understandably said, "I can't treat someone without seeing them! Bring her with you tomorrow"

But the man pleaded, "Please doctor, just...

A beautiful woman is addressed at a bar

The man: "I'd like to invite you for a drink."

Then the woman in a very loud voice: "What, to the hotel? !!!" Then the man: "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean that".

The woman again in a very loud voice: "What, to the hotel? !!!!". The man sits at his table in frustration.

The woman spea...

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Five monkeys - an experiment

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.

As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monk...

My wife put up with my culinary experiments until I put ginger in the curry

She loved that cat.

A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment.

They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said "this is pointless" and stormed off". The engineer agreed to go...

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A group of doctors in a psychiatric ward wanted to look for an improvement in the mental stability of their patients, so they devised an experiment. A doctor put 5 patients in one room.

While in the room, this doctor went to the wall and drew a door (with a door knob and a keyhole). He told the 5 patients in the room to figure out how to open the door.

1st patient waved at the doctors, and tried to open the painted door.

2nd patient kept shouting at the door "...

A scientist is conducting an experiment to determine whether frogs can follow simple commands.

A scientist is conducting an experiment to determine whether frogs can follow simple commands. He begins with a healthy, four-legged frog, and says, “Jump, frog, jump!”

Right on command, the frog jumps.

He then cuts off one of the frog’s legs says “Jump, frog, jump!”, the frog still ju...

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What do you call somebody who experiments with Viagra

A try hard

I did a social experiment on campus

I was having a bad day one week so I decided to try something at my college. I stood in the middle of campus and held up a sign that read "hug me" in hopes that maybe somebody would come around and cheer me up. I waited for 10-20 minutes and then people started walking up. I got so many hugs and it...

A physicist, a mathematician and a computer programmer discuss what is better: a wife or a girlfriend.

The physicist: "A girlfriend. You still have freedom to experiment."
The mathematician: "A wife. You have security."
The computer programmer: "Both. When I'm not with my wife, she thinks I'm with my girlfriend. With my girlfriend it's vice versa. And I can be with my computer without anyon...

What did the Pie scientist use for their experiment?

A peach tree dish.

In the late 1940s a group of physicists got their hands on a battleship gun barrel to use for their experiments.

So they modified and used the barrel as a particle accelerator.

But the problem was that the actual machines they used for the experiment was on one end of of the barrel or the other. So it was very difficult for them to adjust parts of the experiment.

So what they did is that they wo...

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My girlfriend asked me whether I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school, and I told her yes.

Unfortunately I was part of the control group.

God does an experiment with US Marines...

One lofty Sunday God looks down and sees a boat of six Marines paddling in the ocean, chanting; ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR...United States Marine Corps.

Impressed by their focus and intensity he ponders; "What would happen if I removed half their brain powers" and does so. "ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR...Unit...

An old professor of Particle Physics and his assistant were having beers at a pub in London when the conversation drifted to the experiments with the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva, Switzerland.

The assistant mentioned one of the wonderous things the famous particle collider can do. "The Collider can accelerate protons," the assistant began.

The professor smiled and said, "Yes, I've seen it do that, personally."

Surprised and intrigued that his mentor had worked with ...

Nasa was experimenting with different animals in space.

Monkeys were an obvious choice, but they had no patience. Mice chewed all the cables, dogs were too stupid and chickens were always scared. It seemed the only animal that could cope with the intense stress of space travel was a chilled out alley cat.

After a few months of testing and training...

A researcher is experimenting on a frog

He says: "Jump!".

The frog jumps, and the man writes down: " The frog with four legs jumps".

He then cuts one of the frog's legs and says: "Jump!".

The frog jumps, and the man writes down: "The frog with three legs jumps".

He then cuts another leg and says: "Jump!".

I'm doing a science experiment on comedy where I tell people a joke and see their reaction.

Welcome to the control group.

Why did Philip Zimbardo prematurely end his infamous prison experiment?

His girlfriend put her foot down and said “I can’t Stanford this.”

A teacher does a classroom experiment

The teacher has three jars, one filled with alcohol, one filled with cigarette smoke, and one filled with soil.
The teacher puts a few worms in each jar and says to the students “we’ll see which jar is thriving tomorrow.”
The next day the worms in the jars with the alcohol and cigarette smoke ...

All the anti gravity experiments I conducted gave my son terminal cancer

It was incredibly hard to put him down.

Guy goes into a bar in California where there is a robot bartender.

The robot asks, “What will you have?” The guy replies, “Whisky.” The robot brings back his drink and asks, “What’s your IQ? The guy says, “168.” The robot continues to talk about physics, space exploration, and medical technology.

After the guy leaves the more he thinks about it,...

My ex-girlfriend saya she experiments with girls, once a week.

"She must be bi-weekly."

Just thought of this. Any input is welcomed.

A Psych Professor was conducting an experiment with a Psych Student...

There was half of a glass of water sitting on a small table. They would have the subjects of the experiment (other students from the University) come in and describe what they see. Depending on the students’ answers, they would determine their personality type.

The first student comes in and ...

A group of scientists conducted an interesting experiment on frogs.

They wanted to see how cutting off the legs of frogs would affect them.

In one of the experiments, a scientist told the frog to jump. It didn't.

The scientists concluded that cutting off the legs of frogs would make them deaf.

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A woman finds out that she's pregnant with triplets...

she then consents to be the test subject for an experiment. A doctor gives her a newly developed pill that is meant to give unborn children super intelligence so they're born with the ability to speak English, think critically, etc.

Nine months later, she goes into labor. The doctor who gave ...

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