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Theories Jokes

Conspiracy theories are a lot like moon landings.

They're all fake

I'm a 5G installation engineer and people are constantly accusing me with bizarre conspiracy theories, such as how 5G is giving them headaches, or killing their sperm. I think they are completely crazy.

4G must've fried their brains.

You know the conspiracy theories about the Queen being immortal?

They didn't age as well as she did.

It's obvious people offering UFO conspiracy theories don't understand basic science.

If they did, they'd be offering UFO conspiracy hypotheses.

Birthing theories

3 guys were in a waiting room, their wives in labour.

The first man gets called in. He comes out later and tells the others that it was a boy. He laughs and says "geez I think I got a boy because I was on top at that magic moment".

The second man gets called in, and sometime later, he...

All conspiracy theories were proved wrong. Trump will manage to stay in power by...

... dragging the vote count until 2024!

There was a murder in Gotham last night. Police Commissioner Gordon told Batman some elaborate conspiracy theories,

But it's more likely that the Joker did it.

That's Arkham's Razor.

I can't believe there's so many conspiracy theories in the world. This is really not the time to be making up so many.

Not now while Trump is still sitting president.

I don’t believe in conspiracy theories.

I everyone who believes them is working together to scare me.

Two conspiracy theories walk into a bar.

You can’t tell me that was just a coincidence, man.

Ten minutes into "conspiracy theories and chill..."

...we start gettin *illuminaughty.*

When Karl Marx was a young philosophy student, he took it upon himself to travel across the country to see the wide world and learn all that he could to develop his theories.

Hither and thither he would ride across the German countryside, in his little pony-cart pulled by a pair of strong, hardy donkeys, meeting people, studying their lives and professions, and seeking to understand the world.

A time came when he was high in the German mountains. Snow was thick ...

A man calls the police and reports that his girlfriend has gone missing

A male and a female police officer turn up at his house and begin to interview him. The female officer asks the man if he has any theories on where she might be. The man responds with “This is going to sound weird but I think she disappeared into the magic coffee table”
The officers look confused...

Two nudists are debating communists theories.

Sitting outside on a porch in a nudist colony, two old Russian men are discussing the old communist theories.

One says to the other: "Have you read Marx?".

The other replies: "Yes I believe it's these wicker chairs"

I've heard so many theories about why America won't drop the imperial system

But we all know it's really just a foot fetish

Can we stop the conspiracy theories on Epstein's death? It was a normal suicide, because he had nothing to live for.

"This post is supported and paid for by the Clinton Foundation"

I told my boyfriend that people with lower IQs are more likely to believe in conspiracy theories...

He said “Thats what they want you to think!”

What are you doing when, drunk at the bar, you're making theories about stuff you have no clue about ?

Counter intelligence

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Saw a homeless guy babbling about conspiracy theories that doesn't really make sense...

You could say it was a vague rant.

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