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Royal Flush Jokes

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hey guys isn't a royal flush when you take a dump in a castle?

sorry for the joke

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Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.

Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in.


The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.


Dolly takes off her top and says, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever c...

I've never seen a royal flush.

Then again, I've never been in the Queen's bathroom.

What happens when the King leaves the toilet?

A Royal Flush.

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Guy walks into a hotel

A few years back, a feeder tournament for the World Series of Poker has attracted a lot of people to the town where it is being held, and every hotel in town is sold out. A guy without a reservation walks in and asks for a room. The desk clerk tells him “Sorry, but there are no rooms available. Due ...

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There were a couple of strange items at the estate sale of a eccentric collector. One was a couple of Dolly Parton's used bras, the other King Edwards used Enema...

The appraiser was surprised that they sold at all, especially the used enema, as it still had fecal matter on it. What surprised him most is that the enema actually sold for more money than the bras. The auctioneer wasn't surprised at all because he plays poker and knows that a royal flush always ...

Why does King Charles play poker in the bathroom?

Because nothing beats a royal flush.

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When the Queen takes a majestic ...

Does she follow it with a royal flush?

A farmer and a king died at the same time.

They found themselves standing at the Pearly Gates.

"Both of you were very good men," says St. Peter, "but heaven is getting crowded and I can only allow one of you in. What can you do?"

The farmer planted a pear tree, and it grew huge, delicious fruits.

"Wonderful," said St. P...

A man came home from a poker game...

A man came home from a poker game late one night and found his hideous harpy of a wife waiting for him with a rolling pin. "Where the hell have you been?" she asked.
"You'll have to pack all your things, dear," he ad-libbed. "I've just lost you in a card game." "How did you manage to do that?" "I...

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What happen at after you go to Jack in the box, Dairy Queen and Burger King?

You take a royal flush.

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day, but are told only one can get into the pearly gates.

St. Peter asks Queen Elizabeth what makes her special enough to enter Heaven. Elizabeth takes out a douche bottle and douches herself.

St. Peter asks Dolly what makes her special enough to get into Heaven. Dolly opens up her shirt and flashes her chest.


St. Peter lets Queen Elizabe...

How does the king win at poker every time he takes a dump?

With a royal flush

What’s the one thing professional poker players and plumbers can agree on?

A royal flush is better than a full house

Queen Elizabeth only plays poker on the toilet.

That's because she's guaranteed a royal flush.

Four frogs are playing poker behind a bar in New Orleans. One frog said: "You know I used to be a pet to a prince that came here one time." The other frogs roll their eyes, "You know what happend next? I was suddenly down their toilet and in the gutter" the frogs ignore and place their final bets.

Without skipping a beat the frog says: "I guess you can say, it was a..." throws cards down "a royal flush".

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I like to think of the act of pooping like a game of poker

You go all in with a royal flush.

my friend played poker at the castle

at some point, he had a sick hand

but he also had a sick stomach

he left the game to take a dump on a golden toilet

he did not fret

he smiled

for either way,

it was a royal flush

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Dolly Parton and Princess Diana are at the pearly gates of Heaven...

St Peter, standing guard, asks them to share their contributions with him. Dolly Parton lifts her shirt and shows him her . Then Princess Diana takes a cup, pees in it, and hands it to St Peter. St Peter asks them to hold on for a moment and then walks away. When he returns, he lets Princess Di...

Entering a friend's home for his weekly poker game, Slick is amazed to see a dog sitting at the table.

He's even more surprised when the dog wins the first hand with a full house, and takes the second with a royal flush.
"This is unreal," Slick says after the dog wins the next two hands. "He's got to be only dog in the world that can play like that."
"Aw, he's not so great," says the host. "The...

Two Mohels and a Vicar are playing cards

So, two mohels and a vicar are playing a game of cards. And somewhere along the way, they get into an argument -- as they always did -- about who among the three should host dinner that night. You see, they're all very passionate dinner hosts.

One of the mohels says "You should come to my ho...
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