Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors?

So they can see the battlefield!

It is 1939 and a Soviet army is marching on Finland. As they pass the border, they hear a Finnish voice over the hill;

It is 1939 and a Soviet army is marching on Finland. As they pass the border, they hear a Finnish voice over the hill;
"One Finnish soldier is better than 10 Soviet soldiers!"
The Soviet general laughs, as he sends 10 men on the hill to capture it.
There is gunfire for a minute and then...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You decide to get some new water storage tanks for your house out in the countryside.

The plumber doing the installation, some guy called Terry, arrives hours late, completes the job way over schedule and overcharges you, so you give him the finger and pay him in one-cent coins (which you've saved for occasions like this). Terry says nothing and leaves, but unbeknownst to you, he fir...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ireland Declares War on France

The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

"Hallo!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy Down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," the President of France ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In 1944, Germany was losing WWII and was desperate for money. Nazi party officials secretely visited Switzerland bankers and offered to trade an entire division of Panzers in exchange for precious metals.

Tanks for the gold!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Soviet general is marching his army through Poland.

As they're passing by a hill, they hear a voice cry out from the other side of it. "No Soviet soldier can stand up to one Polish soldier!"

The general is furious. Such disrespect to the motherland is intolerable. He points to his best foot soldier, and says, "Comrade Ivan, take that hill in t...

People of China, do you want to hear what happened on Tiananmen square in 1989?

No tanks.

"Your husband died by drowning in one of our beer tanks!"

... said the beer company reps to the woman having just learned about the unfortunate event

"Do you know ... did he suffer?" asks the woman in tears

"We honestly don't think he did.

He came out a few times to pee"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My doctor gave me 6 months, so I shot him.

## The judge gave me 60 years!


 

 

 


### My (other) favorite one liners:

1. I’ve had amnesia for as long as I can remember.

1. What do you call a cheap circumcision? A ripoff.

1. French tanks have five rever...

Syrian tanks

So, my dad tells me that Syria is getting military tanks from Turkey. I asked if that was bad and he said no, everyone loves a tanks giving Turkey.

There once was a soldier who's name was Dave

His men thought for sure he was very brave.

Dave's own platoon got ambushed once at war.

It was up to him to even the score.



One of his comrades gave out a wave

To signal some help from his great friend Dave.

A soldier got hit by a close grenade.

He ...

Why were German tanks so feared in battle?

They didn’t always look reicht.

Fun fact: French tanks in WWII had rear-veiw mirrors.

This allows them to see the frontline too.

How are French tanks unique?

They go faster in reverse than forward.

A psychiatrist decides to conduct a test after the second World War.

A psychiatrist decides to conduct a test after the second World War. He meets a soldier and waves a handkerchief in front of them and asks them:

"What do you think of when you see this handkerchief?"

"I think of my mother".

"Why is that?"

"When I left to go to war on the...

A little story from WWII

A Russian patrol was going through the woods of Finland when they were wiped out, one by one, by a sniper hidden in the deep firs, who killed the lot, but for one man. "One Finn is better than ten Russians!" He was taunted as he ran away.


He returned to his base, and the platoon commande...

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