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Posts Jokes

Most of the posts here are medium.

They aren’t rare and they are definitely not well done.

Do you know why there are fewer 'all men are trash' posts now?

Christmas is coming

A woman, tired of being alone, posts a personal ad

In the ad, she says she's looking for a man who won't beat her, won't walk out on her, and can please her in bed.

A few days later, her doorbell rings. She opens the door and is surprised to find a man on her doorstep with no arms or legs. "I'm here about the personal ad," the man says casual...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Reddit posts are just like my prostitutes.

They always end up getting buried.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do penises and posts in r/jokes have in common?

They're both often mislabeled as "long"

My teacher always starts her class by reading one of the posts from r/jokes, but today she’s absent.

So instead, a subreddit.

I Used to Steal Reddit Posts

I still do, but I used to too.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife left me, so I posted all the nudes she ever sent me onto r/gonewild.

The mods removed them though as they go against the rules.

They don't allow reposts.

A Redditor posts a joke.

And within 2 minutes of submission he has 8 comments telling him, “that’s a repost and that same joke was submitted last month and got 3k upvotes. We only want original content here!” So he deletes it and moves on.

Two months later he hears a new joke and posts it. Again within 2 minutes of s...

Why won't Australians see your posts?

They can only sort by hot right now

Santa has been reading all your posts.

Most of you are getting dictionaries.

What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?

Annette.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A 50 year old women posts a dating ad.

" I need a man who wont beat me, wont leave me, and must be good in bed. Will share all my wealth."

A day later, she hears her door bell ring. To her surprise a man with no legs or arms in a wheel chair greets her.

" this is a joke right? Are you here about the ad?" says the women....

There are four types of posts on Reddit

Helpful,
Unhelpful
And misleading...

How are posts on /r/jokes like Jesus?

You can kill one but it comes back in three days

I hate it when people make posts calling out about their cakeday

I also hate it when they call me a hypocrite

Dave's wife tied him to the bed posts last night.

Dave's wife tied him to the bed posts last night. Unable to move, he could do nothing to stop her slowly stripping down to her bra and pants in front of him.

She knelt on the bed, between his thighs and said

"Ok big boy, what would you like me to take off next?"

Dave gulped: "My...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a girl posts an ad online for a single guy

She’s looking for a man who won’t beat her, who won’t run away and who’s also good in bed.

The next day, her doorbell rings. She opens the door and sees this guy with no arms and no legs.

He says: “Hey, I saw your ad, and I figured I’m exactly the kind of guy you’re looking for. I’ve...

I heard people are getting paid to mention companies and do product placement in their Reddit posts!

That's almost as crazy as the discounts at Jez's Furniture Emporium. Sale this weekend

Why are Downvotes for Reddit Posts Blue?

Because after someone has Reddit, they wanna remind you that you Blueit

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A terrorist posts on reddit.

His post blows up. He meets 72 virgins. His day could not be better.

Can the mods of this sub explain as to why my posts were removed?

Now my fence has fallen over….

A man is working setting up posts

A redditor sees this and gets furious so he walks up to the guy and says he needs to stop reposting

Some Reddit posts are like one night stands

You make a comment in the post and then never hear from it again.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Doctor posts an ad in the paper...

So... this Doctor posts an ad saying "I can cure any disease for $500. If I can't cure you, you get $1000."
So this fellow who is looking to make a quick buck figures, what the hell. Looking on the internet for a disease with no cure, he finds -Tastoritis- the inability to taste any food.
"Do...

TIL that if reddit is down you can still see all of the top posts of the previous week

You just have to visit Buzzfeed or ebaumsworld

Showerthoughts sub has a new sub for its highest awarded posts but it’s NSFW

r/Goldenshowerthoughts

What do you call a person who always posts memes?

Depressed

I set my Reddit so that it would automatically hide posts I've already opened.

It doesn't seem to work on this subreddit though.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are there no "good girl" dog posts?

Because all female dogs are bitches.

Why do some posts have nsfw and some don't?

I was reading some sfw (safe for work) jokes at work and got fired!!!

Why do reposts get more upvotes than original posts?

With every repost, there are more people who finally understand the joke

What do you call a potato who posts videos online?

A You-*tuber*

What do cowardly terrorists and my Reddit posts have in common?

None of them blew up yet

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman, tired of bad relationships, posts an ad online

The ad reads "Looking for a man who would treat me right and won't hit me, who would never run away from me, and would give me the best sex of my life. If you meet this criteria, come see me at 22A Greenich avenue"

People come and go, but noone is to her liking. Just when she was about to giv...

I don't make passive aggressive posts on Reddit

Unlike **SOME** people.

Santa saw your Facebook posts this year.

He’s gonna give you a dictionary.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.

After all, its not like Donald Trump could write a book.

Edit: alot of people moaning in the comments "this is a stupid joke, Trump did actually write some books so this makes no sense!?".

Look at the sub you are in, some of these posts you'll see will just be jokes. If you are the sn...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you're questioning your sexuality...

You probably aren't thinking straight.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Woman posts on dating website...

... what's she's looking for perfect husband who wouldn't run away from her, wouldn't beat her, and would be amazing in bed.

Week later, she hears someone's ringing the door, and as she opens it, she sees young man in wheelchair, but he has no arms or legs.

Confused, woman asks *"What ...

First man on Earth posts joke on r/jokes

Turns out it was repost

With so many posts online telling me to vote, I kinda feel bad for not voting today

And I'm not even an American.

reading the posts here in r/jokes i realised two things

/- the 75% of you has problem grammer in english


/- the other 45% struggle with maths

Twitter have just created a keyboard shortcut that mutes all Neo-Conservative posts.

Ctrl + Alt + Right

Why are Reddit posts about electricity never upvoted?

We prefer to give them an upvolt.

It absolutely bothers me when some attention seeking people make posts and comments indicating that it's it their cake day just so that people wish them.

I'm just glad I'm not one of those people

What’s it called when you are shadow banned by all social media and no one sees your posts?

A diary.

Since many of the posts on here are "Yo Mama jokes" and many others are "Chuck Norris" jokes, can any of the brilliant minds who post on here combine the two memes into a single joke?

Chuck Norris used a roundhouse kick to move yo mama, because when she sits around the house, she really sits **around the house**.

The Windex snapchat isn't consistent with posts.

Guess it's because they don't like streaks.

Why did the redditor recognise all the posts on their feed?

They were sorting by "knew"

Wanna know the difference between COVID-19 and my Posts

One actually leaves New

I'm sick of all these passive-aggressive posts.

You know who you are.

What's the best part about editing posts?

Its rewording

How does a Muslim influencer wish for sponsored posts?

Installah

As a Canadian I never realized how slow my internet was until today.

I just now started seeing Thanksgiving posts!

Quick tip on how to get lots of views on your Reddit posts

Label it NSFW and repost (credit to a dozen other people)

If you like posts featuring Norse gods,

then this could be your Loki day.

Can I get some help repairing my broken fence posts?

I figure there are enough reposters here that it will only take a few minutes.

If you got distracted yesterday and missed all posts at r/jokes ...

... nothing to worry about: they'll all be back any minute now.

A new Navy recruit has his first day on the submarine...

He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post.

"Go stand at the periscope entry-way, and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch the periscope."

The recruit follows orders, and stands by the periscope. After 15 minutes, the officer stops by.

"Son I'm changing your post ...

I said to my English speaking girlfriend, “Today I meet a guy who posts on Reddit.”

“That’s ‘met a’,” she replied.

What do originalcontent posts and girlfriends have in common?

Redditors dont get either of them.

Amal and Juan repost a joke on /r/jokes but no one ever upvotes Juan's posts

Because once you've seen Amal, you don't wanna see another Juan.

In an alternate reality where fences are females and posts are male...

A teenage post teases that his friend is taking another post to prom. The friend says, "Hey! I take a fence to that!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As a Muslim redditor, I feel disappointed...

That my posts never blows up.

Edit 1: Everyone says that my jokes are the bomb, but still this shit didn't explode.

Edit 2: KA-BOOOM!

Edit 3: For those wondering, I am a Muslim for real and I find this shit funny af so chill out guys, no need to hate on religions, we're at /r/jo...

How do you get your posts closer to the top?

^you ^just ^type ^them ^out ^like ^this

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My mum’s found out my Reddit password and is censoring all my posts...

That bitch **in' lady** can kiss my big fat **meat** ball s **andwich** and **doesn't need to** die **t**.

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