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Roads Jokes

Please becareful on the roads

Lots of people are drinking excessively and having their wives drive

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town...

A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town, when the girl stopped the boy.

"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The boy reluctantly paid...

Why did princess Diana cross the road

She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt

Why did the chicken cross the road?

DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.

Joe Biden:...

What do roads and farts have in common?

Asphalt.

Ya know why they put rumble strips on the side of roads?

It's braille. So that the blind can see where they're driving.

Why don't pirates travel on mountain roads?

'Scurvy

Lost on the back roads in Vermont

Lost on back roads in Vermont, a tourist collided with a local man at an intersection. He and the local got out to examine their bent fenders.

"Well, don't look like much," observed the local. "Whyn't we just take a little pull to steady our nerves." He grabbed a jug from his battered pickup,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chickens crossing roads....

\#1)

Why did the chicken cross the road?

\-- To get to the asshole's house.



\#2)

Knock, knock

\----Who's there?

It's the chicken.

To all of you idiots out there that drive loud cars, we hate you and get off our roads.

We don’t care how many “heart attack victims” you have to “take to the hospital.”

I've been stuck in Rome for the past 3 weeks

All their roads have this weird design flaw.

Why does the government worry about keeping the roads plowed?

Because they can’t have another Edward Snowed In incident.

Road trip

Grandma needed a ride to a family wedding in another state but refused to let anyone give her a ride because she had always heard that the roads were so dangerous.

Finally, her grandson convinced her that we would take her down a road that hasn't had any accidents on it in years and ever show...

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