Readers Jokes - 19 Hilarious Readers Jokes

Why are 9/11 victims the best readers?

They can go through 94 stories in seconds!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One of the British national daily newspapers was asking readers: "What it means to be British?".

Some of the emails were hilarious but this one from a Swiss was a winner.

"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for
a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on a Swedish furniture and watch
Americ...

Since we’re doing Readers Digest…

This is a true story, and one that my dad submitted and had published in RD back in the early 80s. It takes place in the early 60s. I’m typing it here from memory.

“My friend and I were driving between 2 rural Indiana towns during a winter blizzard when we ran out of gas. With only $5 to our ...

The number of readers this book hit hard wasn’t surprising…

That’s just what happens when you toss out free braille.

Who are the fastest readers?

Apple users, they can read 30 pages of terms and conditions in just one second.

What do readers of Steven King and Russia have in common?

They have both learned to be afraid of Clowns.

Who are the worlds fastest readers

The 911 jumpers, one hundred stories in a few seconds

I just lost my job as a palm reader

Someone told me that they needed me to come in handy. I did.

A women is out golfing and finds a frog trapped in the woods...

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog sa...

Mind readers in Harry Potter

If a legilamins has a child that can't read minds, is that child illigilamins?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dear readers, this Christmas day, one in five children in London will not have a gift from Santa!!

one in five children in London will not have a christmas tree at home.

one in five children in London will not have a christmas dinner with their family.

This is not an advertisement for Red cross or Salvation Army, one in five children born in London are Muslims and they dont ...

What state has the fastest readers?

New York, they set the world record for fast reading in 2001 for going through 110 stories in about 10 seconds.

"Fifty Shades of Grey" gives its readers unrealistic expectations.

It makes them think that Vintage Books will publish anything that gets sent to them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Thanks to chip readers strangers are always offering sexual advice

Go ahead and insert it, It’s not in far enough, Put it in again, Pull it out, You pulled it out too soon,It works better if you hold it in there, It’s taking a little longer today than usual

Who were the fastest readers in history?

The survivors of 9/11 who cleared 84 stories in under 2 minutes.

Mod Announcement: Due to complaints from our fair-haired readers, blonde jokes are no longer allowed...

...because they couldn't read them.

Petition to change "readers" to "Jokesters"

Readers just isn't appropriate for this sub-reddit, c'mon guys.
For those who have no idea what I am talking about, you can change this: http://i.imgur.com/uoRoH.jpg

Who are some of the best readers in the world?

World Trade Center workers, some of them can read 50 stories in just 8 seconds!

Maybe Jesus didn't like your chocolate?

So aliens come to earth and they're Sooo nice. There's a huge televised event with all the world leaders in attendance.

The Pope asks, "Do you know of Jesus Christ?"

The aliens say, "Do we Ever? Awesome guy!! Swings by the planet every couple of years to say Hi!"

The Pope excla...

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