r/Jokes Has 19 Million subscribers!

It's amazing what 7 jokes can do

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rural farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady.

He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing do...

If you have a child, you can name them “one million subscribers on YouTube”

Then you can tell people you hit one million subscribers on YouTube

We have passed 10 million subscribers. Thank you very much for joining us.

Sincerely Coronavirus

r/jokes has over 18 million subscribers

And I’m still amazed at how much attention 12 jokes can bring

What did the vertigo afflicted YouTuber say to his subscribers?

Hey, what's up guys!?

An r/Jokes subscriber was fencing...

His opponent was confused because he was fully on the offensive and made not even one defensive move.

After the game, the opponent asked him about his unorthodox technique.

He replied, "Oh yeah, I only know how to riposte."

I met a guy who was a r/jokes subscriber.

Funnily enough he remembers all the jokes he ever heard.

So I asked him, "How can you remember all the freakin' jokes?"

He replied, "Its hard to forget when you are reminded every minute."

“According to a new report, Netflix is losing subscribers and 130,000 people have stopped watching.

It all happened after one guy changed his password.”

.

- Credit: Jimmy Fallon on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (a rare actually good joke by Fallon I heard while my mom was watching)

r/Jokes subscribers decide to make a meal. What is the main ingredient?

Copypasta.

I finally found an active Hillary Clinton sub with a lot of subscribers!

/r/politics

Even with 4 million subscribers, /r/jokes sounds like a big empty hall.

I can hear jokes echoing again and again.

/r/Jokes hits 2 Million subscribers

**/r/Jokes metrics:**

Total Subscribers: 2,006,077

Subreddit Rank: 35

Subreddit Growth & Milestones: http://redditmetrics.com/r/Jokes

How many r/conspiracy subscribers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they've all been illuminated.

I saw a little boy at the bus stop eating a giant chocolate Easter bunny. I said, "Hey kid, eating that much chocolate at one time is bad for you." He looked me in the eye and said, "Well, my grandpa lived to 103."

"Oh, really? Did *he* eat a lot of chocolate?"

"No, he minded his own damn business."

**Edit:** Credit where due -- [/u/samvet21 informs me](/r/Jokes/comments/8cnjvk/i_saw_a_little_boy_at_the_bus_stop_eating_a_giant/dxhf9ku/) that the original joke was by Philadelphia comedian [Todd Gl...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I know I’m not a sexy guy...

I mean I’ve only got one subscriber on OnlyFans and that’s because my mom insists on supporting me in all my endeavors.

Avi goes to his rabbi (stop me if this has been posted before; I'm not a subscriber)...

Avi goes to his rabbi and says, "Rabbi Gershenson, I'm at the end of my rope! I have taught my son well, taken him to temple every Sabbath unless he was gravely ill, sent him to yeshiva, yet he tells me that he wants to convert to Christianity. What should I do?"

The rabbi replies, "You're as...

Why haven't any subscribers to r/TheRedPill played Overwatch yet?

They don't play the beta.

Why does it say there are 46 million subscribers to /r/jokes?

I know this can't be right

Tired of all the reposts, the admin team decided to number the jokes. So, if anyone wanted to repost, they'd just post the number and take their karma.

A new subscriber comes and watches this, unable to understand. He sees a post with just the number 3771, having 2.1k upvotes. He gets very confused.
So, he decides to make a post of himself. He posts 92075, and he gets 45.6k upvotes. He is intrigued, so much that he messages the mod team and ask...

What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear Subscriber,

We are cutting off your Internet service due to illegal downloading.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jake Paul finds a magic lamp and rubs it.

Jake Paul finds a magic lamp and rubs it. He finds Will Smith the genie in there. The genie says
"I will grant you three wishes, but be careful! Whatever you wish for, your brother Logan gets 37 times more than you do. What is your first wish?"

Jake, thinking about this for a lot, makes ...

Too Much Information

"Hello! Is this Gordon's Pizza?"

"No sir, it's Google's Pizza."

"Did I dial the wrong number?

"No sir, Google bought the pizza store."

"Oh, alright then. I’d like to place an order please."

"Okay sir, do you want the usual?"

"The usual? You know what my usua...

Logan Paul shouldn’t go so long without posting a new video

He’s leaving his subscribers hanging.

2016 New Year Scratchcard

2015 is going to end soon! As an appreciation of your support to [/r/Jokes](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/), every subscriber here can get one of the reward below:

* Grand Prize: iPhone 6s Plus 128G
* Second Prize: Samsung Galaxy Note 5
* Third Prize: Nintendo 3DS
* Consolation Priz...

You want to know who's desperate for a funny joke?

You, me and all of r/Jokes subscribers. Stay strong my friends.

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