Lecturer: "have any of you heard of pavlov's dogs?"

Student: "... It rings a bell."

A lecturer had reached one of his most important points

"He who gives in when he is wrong is wise: but the man who gives in when he is right is..."

"Married," someone shouted from the audience.

What do you call a professor that eats his students?

Hannibal Lecturer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat.

As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"


She tu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Russian Military Lecturer

The commanding officer at a Russian military academy gave a lecture on potential problems and military strategy. At the end of the lecture, he asked if there were any questions.

An officer stood up and asked, “Will there be a third world war? And will Russia take part in it?”

The gener...

Paige finishes writing her biology dissertation and hands it in to the lecturer the following day.

He quickly flicks through it and realises something is missing.

"Where's your appendix page?"

"Easy", she says, and points to her lower abdomen.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A college advertising lecture is taking place. The speaker is presenting his anti-drug PSA.

He says:

- I am the author of a simple, yet effective campaign against drug use.

He shows the poster he designed. It shows two circles, one big and the other small. The big one is titled "This Is Your Brain", the small one is titled "This Is Your Brain on Drugs". The speaker says:
<...

Why is the algorithms lecturer so fat?

Because he always minimises the running time.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a Lecturer tells a joke in the class. . .

. . .and then one of the students raises his hand and says "but sir you told that joke last year" the lecturer replies "if you can repeat things then so can I"

My university lecturer makes all of his students buy his book at the beginning of the term.

It's textbook economics.

A college lecturer asks his students who is poorer...

A man with $1000 but is $750 in debt, or a man with $250. The hall is silent for a moment, then a student stands up and answers

"Me."

My Lecturer asked me why i was failing my class

"Is it ignorance or apathy?", he said.

Honestly, I don't know and I don't care.

Define the lecturer

Teacher to Student: Can you define the lecturer?

Student: A lecturer is person who has bad habit of speaking when someone is sleeping.

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