Hannibal Lector was caught in a hospitals ICU, munching on a comatose patient

"Dr. Lector", Clarise Starling asked him when they were re-united, "why did you take such a risk to go into a busy ICU unit?"

"Simple, my dear Clarise...I've gone vegetarian."

Hannibal Lector crashed my dinner party and rudely demanded that I feed him!

I gave him a piece of my mind.

What's the difference between Spartacus and Hannibal Lector

One of them's a gladiator, and the other is glad he ate her!

What did Hannibal Lector have for breakfast?

Kevin Bacon.

...

And Jon Hamm.

^^I'll ^^show ^^myself ^^out.

If Hannibal Lector is not a vegetarian, what is he?

A humanitarian.

A man is in court

(Long but worth it)

Judge: "You are accused of beating your wife to death. If you want to expect any mercy, you'll have to give us a damn good reason."
Man: "She was so stupid, I just had to kill her."
Judge: "That is even worse. If you don't want to be declared guilty on the spot, you ...

A joke told by my priest at church this morning

Three women were discussing their sons, each bragging about his accomplishments. They wanted to show that their son had the most respect from the most people. The first said "My son is a bishop. When people talk to him, they say 'Your Excellency.'" The second woman says "That's nothing. My son is a ...

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