Lector Jokes - 7 Hilarious Lector Jokes

What did Hannibal Lector have for breakfast?

Kevin Bacon.

...

And Jon Hamm.

^^I'll ^^show ^^myself ^^out.

upvote

downvote

report

Hannibal Lector was caught in a hospitals ICU, munching on a comatose patient

"Dr. Lector", Clarise Starling asked him when they were re-united, "why did you take such a risk to go into a busy ICU unit?"

"Simple, my dear Clarise...I've gone vegetarian."

upvote

downvote

report

What's the difference between Spartacus and Hannibal Lector

One of them's a gladiator, and the other is glad he ate her!

upvote

downvote

report

Hannibal Lector crashed my dinner party and rudely demanded that I feed him!

I gave him a piece of my mind.

upvote

downvote

report

If Hannibal Lector is not a vegetarian, what is he?

A humanitarian.

upvote

downvote

report

A man is in court

(Long but worth it)

Judge: "You are accused of beating your wife to death. If you want to expect any mercy, you'll have to give us a damn good reason."
Man: "She was so stupid, I just had to kill her."
Judge: "That is even worse. If you don't want to be declared guilty on the spot, you ...

upvote

downvote

report

A joke told by my priest at church this morning

Three women were discussing their sons, each bragging about his accomplishments. They wanted to show that their son had the most respect from the most people. The first said "My son is a bishop. When people talk to him, they say 'Your Excellency.'" The second woman says "That's nothing. My son is a ...

upvote

downvote

report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.