Printer Jokes - 73 Hilarious Printer Jokes

What did the printer say when it ran out of paper?

Oh sheet

My printer just told me it was joining a band

Which makes sense.

It loves to jam.

A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud toward him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefu...

My friend was bragging his new 3D printer can print a gun.

I wasn’t impressed, I’ve had a Canon printer for years!

A man’s printer started printing more and more faintly, so he called a local repair shop.

A friendly young man informed him, “Well, you could bring it in for a cleaning, but we charge $50 for that, so you might be better off just reading the manual and trying the job yourself.”

Pleasantly surprised by this candor, the man said, “Thanks, son. Does your boss know that you discourage...

3D printers are now printing guns...

That’s nothing though. I’ve had a Canon printer for years.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My black friend and I were in the library when he asked where the coloured printer was.

I said, "Shit, man, it's 2018. You can use whatever printer you want."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Dad, look! I'm a 3D printer!"

"Chris, close the god damn door if you're taking a shit"

How do you turn a three-dimensional printer into a four-dimensional printer?

Just give it time.

I let some of my friends use my high quality printer from Spain.

When I told them where it was from, they all gasped in shock. Because no-one expects the Spanish ink precision!

I heard Reggae music coming from my printer.

The paper was jammin’

I can’t get my network printer to work

Oh Brother, where art thou?

What's the difference between a stepping stool and a miniature 3D printer?

The former is a little ladder and the latter is a little former.

My HP printer died today

It was like a Brother to me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My printer died last night under suspicious circumstances.

Epson didn't kill itself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A black man asks a white man where the colored printer is.

The white man smiles and says, "My friend, in this day and age, you can use any printer."

My printer is playing music

I think the papers are jamming again

I was confused when my printer started making music

Until i realized the paper was... jamming.

what do you call a printer that takes up painting?

The Artist, formally known as Prints.

A shepherd is tending his flock in a remote pasture…

…when suddenly a shiny red BMW appears. The driver is a young man in an Armani suit, Ferragamo shoes and Polarized sunglasses.

He sticks his head out the window and asks the shepherd, "Hey! If I can tell you how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"

The shepherd l...

The CEO of a company was in need of a secretary

He spread ads all over town. A few days later, there was a knock on his door. It was a dog. He had a newspaper in his mouth. He opened it to the classifieds page and pointed to the ad that the CEO had placed. The CEO was impressed. But he thought it was a joke, so he decided to test the dog:

...

I changed the name of my printer to George R. R. Martin

It's old, works slow, has issues finishing jobs, and constantly disappoints me.

Recently, I bought a cartridge for my printer

It came in a box mounted on a card and wrapped in plastic. When I took it apart, I found that the printer cartridge itself was actually quite small, but they made the packaging unnecessarily large to make it harder to steal and to make the customer feel better about the high price.

I pointed ...

I have a printer nicknamed Bob Marley

Because it's always Jammin'

What do printers eat on their toast?

Paper jam.

Wanna hear a joke about the dollar printer?

Nevermind, it doesn't make any cents

How do you make a 4D printer?

Just take a 3D printer and give it some time.

I received a letter from my opticians, but I’m concerned about their printer....

Either it’s failing or they used a blurry font. So weird.

What kind of printer do pigs use?

An oinkjet printer

I heard there was music coming from my printer.

So I opened it to see what's wrong. Turns out it was just jamming.

If Morgz were a part of a printer, what would he be?

The copier.

Hear about the screen printer who misspelled the order of concert posters?

Must have had an extra stencil crisis.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I accidentally sent my essay to a 3D printer

It came out as a pile of shit.

My printer keeps playing random music

I called support. Don’t worry they said, it’s just the paper jamming.

Why did the broken printer become a rockstar?

Because it liked to jam all the time

What do a printer and a prostate have in common?

Control pee

What did the father printer say to the teenage printer?

Don't use that toner with me.

I tried to connect my Raspberry Pi to my printer....

But the printer always jams!

Dad look! I'm a 3D printer!

Removed cause Reddit doesn't care about their users. (API Changes)

I head into my office to print something out, but the printer is out of paper...

I got some paper to refill it, and that's when I noticed something interesting. The paper company was advertising it's social media accounts... I wondered what the Paper Company was doing with an Instagram account so I decided to check them out. Turns out a large percentage of their posts were about...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I told my therapist about being unhappy, he said, "When it comes to happiness, a good analogy is a 3D-printer."

"Oh," I said, "You mean that I should make my own happiness?"

"No," he said. "I meant, most people don't have it, and many don't even know what it is."

3d-printers are now making guns.

Pffft, that's nothing!

I've had a Canon printer for years.

I saw an amazing picture of a printer on r/funny

It was inkredditable

My dad always turns his head slightly away from the printer when he's using it

Apparently he can only see it in his peripheral vision.

What do horror movies and printer ink have in common?

The black one always dies first.

So I bought a pocket printer.

So happy I can finally print my own pockets.

My printer has started printing scary stories in the middle of the night. Somehow they’re all in Braille.

It’s giving me Goosebumps

What did Snow White say when the printer jammed?

Someday my prints will come!!

My colleague was fired for stealing printer cartridges

He was caught magenta handed.

Why did the printer have wet ink?

Because it couldn't control P

What happens to printers that perform miracles?

They get Canonized.

New user: "How come my new printer doesn't work in Linux?" Linus: "You need the right driver."

"My chauffeur's outside."

What is Jorah Mormonts favorite printer settings? Grayscale

In my old fashioned office the multifunction printer broke down.

No fax was given that day...

We had to get a new all-in-one printer, after a lot of fighting.

The old one couldn't handle the fax.

I keep loading paper into my printer but it keeps saying "I just can't get enough"

I think it's stuck in Depeche Mode.

Came up with the perfect name for my printer earlier...

The Device Formerly Known as Prints

Did you hear about the solitary T shirt printer?

He's going to dye alone

Printer tired while printing her picture

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

What printers do they use on board the Enterprise?

Hewlett Pickards

I don’t trust people that use large format printers.

They’re always plotting something.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me (a Mexican): Oh shit, the printer says no papers

Coworker (also Mexican): Oh shit, Donald Trump is gonna get mad

What do you call someone who doesn't care about printers?

No fax given.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What was the first 3D printer?

Your butthole!

*** This joke is awesome because it was created by a third grader where I teach.

I've got a 3D printer

But it only prints pieces of paper.

3-D printers

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I'm pretty excited," the guy tells the bartender. "I just got one of those 3D printers. They say I can even make a gun on it." "Ha, I'm not impressed," the bartender scoffs. "I've had a canon printer for years."

An IT guy goes to hell

When he gets there the devil begins to explain his everlasting torment. "Down here you will wade in scalding magma, always burning and unable to die. There will be noxious fumes that pour into your lungs, you will always be suffocating but always conscious. You will be whipped and flayed and never r...

Why are old printers so musical?

Because they are prone to jamming.

IT dad jokes, anyone?

An old timer IT guy was asked to help one of his clients add a new printer. When he arrived on location, he jumped on the client’s computer and then asked what type of printer it was so he could find it.

The customer frowned, scratched his head, and said “I think it’s a Brother printer, that’...

My mom runs her own garage

She's an amazing mother but she makes the lamest jokes, which are a source of constant annoyance for me. After an exceptionally bad day (I woke up late, spilled coffee on my white shirt, my SUV was malfunctioning so I reached office late, the printer was jammed so I had to take printouts of the repo...

How did he guess?

A shepherd was tending his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a dust cloud approached at high speed, out of which emerged a shiny silver BMW. The driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Ferragamo shoes, Cartier sunglasses and a tightly knotted power tie, poked his head out the window and asked t...

Boris Johnson said that Vladimir Putin is redrawing the map of Europe in blood.

I bet it's hard to get refills for that printer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do most printers break so easily?

Shitty HP

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