Elapse Jokes

He lived for the good times of wine, women, and song. He wished he could continue his life style forever. A genie suddenly appeared before him and made him the following wish: Benny would remain forever young if he would never shave. If he were ever to shave the genie would return and transform him ... read more

Brian’s stress level was at unsurpassed levels. His wife Maggie was in labor and Brian was sure it was time to head to the hospital. Breathing heavily, Brian grabbed the phone and called the doctor. “MY WIFE, SHE’S READY, SHOULD WE COME?” The doctor tried to relax the poor fellow, “just try to relax... read more

At the start of the exam, the Professor says, “You have exactly 2 hours. I will not accept any papers after this time has elapsed.”

Two hours later, the Professor calls out, “Time’s up, Ladies and Gentlemen.”

One student is still scribbling away ten minutes later when the Professor has... read more