Why can’t you prosecute unleavened bread?

Because there’s no proof

What did the Dentist say when he was being prosecuted in court?

YOU CANT HANDLE THE TOOTH!!!!!!

My father had five arms. He crashed his car into a guy with two heads. The case went to court but neither driver was prosecuted.

The judge said it was a freak accident.

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All women should be prosecuted..

..for animal cruelty, sitting on their pussies all the time.

A French man, a British man and a Spanish man are caught stealing in a foreign country.

They are prosecuted and the judge sentences them all to 100 lashes each. However he wants to look lenient in the eyes of their respective countries so he reduces the lashes to twenty and allows them to have two requests each before being lashed.

The Spanish is first to be lashed and requests ...

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A judge recently prosecuted a woman for flashing a man to get "new ink done"

It was a case of tit for tat

Why can Saint Nicolas never be prosecuted?

Because of the Santa Clause

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Today a young man was detained after being caught red handed with a giant magnifying glass. He'd been focusing the light to a small dot on to peoples bottoms until they caught fire.

He was prosecuted for arse-sun

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Two men are caught sleeping with another man’s wife and are caught by police in the act.

After the arrest the two men, the police contact the husband, they tell him the story.

Police: Sorry to inform you sir but we found your wife having intercourse with two men by the names of Mr. Right and Mr. Wrong. When we found them, Right was in front and Wrong was in back. This must be...

Did you know that if you put 10,000 monkeys in a room with 10,000 typewriters then....

...... you're a rich, eccentric weirdo who should be prosecuted for animal cruelty.

Where's the best place for Edward Snowden to hide?

Wallstreet. No one there ever seems to get prosecuted.

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Surgical Removal of a Mole

I'm back from hospital now. ... I had a mole removed from my penis.


The surgeon said I'll be OK, but the RSPCA said they'll prosecute if I ever do it again.

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