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An old man was sitting on his porch one morning when a boy walked up the road carrying a large roll of chicken wire.

“Hey, boy! What are you doing with all that chicken wire?”

“I’m gonna catch some chickens, sir.”

“You fool, you can’t catch no chickens with chicken wire.”

The boy smiled and walked off. That evening he came back dragging the chicken wire with at least a dozen chickens rolled up...

Why don't chickens wear pants?

Because their pecker is on their face.

There are thirty cows and twenty eight chickens, how many didn't?


Why did Mozart get rid of all his chickens?

He asked them who the best composer was and didn’t like their answer.

Why don't chickens tell their eggs any jokes?

Coz it would crack them up.

Why did Beethoven hate chickens?

All they do is say “Bach! Bach!”

How should a farmer dress so he doesn't get attacked by his chickens?


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Chickens don’t sext

But they might give you a cock a doodle.

The Backdoor Chicken

Once there was a farmer who was very annoyed by one of his chickens
He called him the Backdoor Chicken

Whenever he puts him in a barn, he comes out from the backdoor

He tried putting him in a cage, but he came out of the backdoor

He locked the chicken in a room, again came ou...

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There's a breed of black chickens that actually hatch black eggs!

Search up "black cocks" yourself if you don't believe me.

I’m thinking of starting a social media network for chickens.

Not as a full time job just a way to make hens meet.

Did I tell you about my neighbor who is afraid of chickens?

He built a beautiful fence around his house. All the neighbors say it’s impeccable.

People who take care of chickens are...

Literally "Chicken Tenders!"

There are 2 chickens in a barn, one says: "tok, tok, tok, tok, tok".

The other replies: "are you tokking to me"?

My grandfather died and I inherited some of his clothes.

He was a farmer and he loved getting dressed up every year for the local fair and exhibiting his prize chickens.

For this occasion, my grandmother would spend the entire year searching through thrift shops looking for silly neckties for him to wear, and she loved finding ones with chickens o...

Did you hear about the Mexican space program?

They’re sending chickens to the moon for the first time ever, they’re calling it A-pollo 11

How do chickens tell who's the alpha male or female?

They use a *pecking* order

What do you call a number to the power of chickens?

An eggs-ponent

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Just found out cock fighting is done with chickens

There goes two years of training I'll never get back :(

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A chicken farmer goes into a bar, takes a seat next to a woman, and orders a glass of champagne.

The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!"

He turns to her and says,

"What a coincidence. This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating."

"This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating," says the woman.

"What a c...

Where do tough chickens come from?

Hard boiled eggs

I saw a bunch of geese and ducks on the lawn in front of the Tyson processing plant. Initially I thought of how horrible it was that they were there flaunting their freedom to the condemned chickens, but then I thought no.....

it's just fowl behavior.

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