UPJOKE
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turkeys

why did the turkey cross the road twice

to prove he was not a chicken

Why do turkeys love thanksgiving?

Because they don’t have to worry about buying Christmas presents

What’s the difference between retail workers and turkeys?

We let the turkey rest on Thanksgiving.

I recently heard that Turkeys aren't allowed to play baseball.

No matter how many times they hit, they'll always hit Fowl balls.

What's something that all cooked turkeys have?

They all have cavities and no teeth

My wife's inappropriate Christmas dinner joke

Last night My wife and I were having Christmas dinner with her parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, and a German neighbor who is a widow. We were talking about messing up while cooking meals and I mentioned the first time I cooked a turkey I cooked it upside down. The neighbor was incredulous that...

Boys have a thing and girls don't.

One November afternoon when my daughter was in kindergarten, I picked her up after school. She bobbed out to the car and crawled into the back seat.

"What did you do today?" I asked.

She couldn't wait to tell me. "We learned that boys are different from girls" she chirped.

Looki...

Where can you find radioactive turkeys?

Chergobble

I tried to post a Thanksgiving joke about turkeys...

But it was removed because of fowl language.

Wives are like Thanksgiving Turkeys.

They eventually get fat and then stop gobbling.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The horny rooster.

A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster. As soon as he brings him home, the young rooster rushes and screws all 150 of the farmer’s hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunchtime, the young rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer is not just impressed anymore, he is worried. Next morning,...

What did the Pilgrims call the turkeys that were hard to catch?

Fast Food

What do turkeys like to walk on?

Cobble cobble cobble

What did the mother turkey say to the little turkeys on Thanksgiving?

Mind your manners! If your dad could see you now, he‘d roll over in his gravy!

I heard Donald Trump pardoned two turkeys this year...

Eric and Don Jr

Do you know why Turkeys make good warriors?

Because they ain't no chicken.

From a conversation at the the Thanksgiving table about the turkeys Trump pardoned

Why did John Lennon hate carrots?

Because he wanted to give peas a chance.

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