UPJOKE
abattoirmeatcattlebeefbutcheryfarmbutcherdairyvealshamblesslaughterhalalkillmassacreslaughtering

Slaughterhouse Jokes

What do you call a cow that gets sent to the slaughterhouse by accident?

Miss Steak

My friend hates his job at the slaughterhouse

He said he has to collect all the innards from the animals to make into pet food. We both agree that's absolutely offal.

I once lived opposite a slaughterhouse.

The view from my bedroom was offal.

Did you hear about the pig at the slaughterhouse?

He saw the entrance and went ham.

I once worked at a slaughterhouse and saw a pig get killed

I never sausage a thing

My first job was working in a slaughterhouse stunning cows...

Not bad looking sheep either...

I enjoy working in a slaughterhouse..

Everything is so cut and dry.

An arsonist is hired to burn down a slaughterhouse...

The job was well done.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Rancher Takes His Herd of Cattle to the Slaughterhouse

The Rancher enters a slaughterhouse with his very impressive herd of steers, and is immediately met with a glare from the Owner. The Owner looks over the Rancher's cattle and offers him half the price of what a herd of this size and weight would cost. The Rancher takes issue with this price and brin...

Maybe we could cut down a bit on the terrible conditions at slaughterhouses by getting the cows really baked.

It might make their short lives a little happier, and maybe even make more people aware and willing to change, once they realize the steaks are high.

Why did the Necromancer with a gambling problem get kicked out of the Slaughterhouse...

He kept raising the steaks.

What do you get when you cross a slaughterhouse worker and a bad comedian?

A bunch of butchered jokes

I dreamed last night I was offered a job in a flying slaughterhouse as a butcher. The weird thing is that it would be in a 747, while in flight, so that deliveries to supermarkets were always as fresh as possible. The pay would be phenomenal, but the work extremely dangerous.

In the end, I turned down the offer.

*I simply felt that the steaks would be too high*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bill Cosby went hunting

Bill Cosby went hunting in the mountains with his banker and lawyer, but their car broke down on the return trip. While hiking back to civilization, they came across a very small farmhouse, and asked to use the phone. The local towing company couldn't do anything until the next day, but the farmer g...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In a stable were an old horse and a pig.

One morning, the farmer found the old horse in a bad shape and he said to himself : "That's no good, no good..." and he left.

The day after, the same happens again but the horse is even in worse shape. "Really, really no good", said the farmer. And he left again.

So the pig went to the...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.