I once worked at a slaughterhouse and saw a pig get killed

I never sausage a thing

Did you hear about the pig at the slaughterhouse?

He saw the entrance and went ham.

What do cows call a slaughterhouse?

Cowshwitz

My first job was working in a slaughterhouse stunning cows...

Not bad looking sheep either...

I dreamed last night I was offered a job in a flying slaughterhouse as a butcher. The weird thing is that it would be in a 747, while in flight, so that deliveries to supermarkets were always as fresh as possible. The pay would be phenomenal, but the work extremely dangerous.

In the end, I turned down the offer.

*I simply felt that the steaks would be too high*

What do you call a cow that accidentally wanders into a slaughterhouse?

A mis-steak.

I once lived opposite a slaughterhouse.

The view from my bedroom was offal.

What do you call three members of Abba in a French slaughterhouse?

Abba trois...

Why did the Necromancer with a gambling problem get kicked out of the Slaughterhouse...

He kept raising the steaks.

An arsonist is hired to burn down a slaughterhouse...

The job was well done.

I enjoy working in a slaughterhouse..

Everything is so cut and dry.

What do you get when you cross a slaughterhouse worker and a bad comedian?

A bunch of butchered jokes

Two bulls were standing in a long line discussing Donald Trump...

One bull complained "This line is taking forever. I hate the status quo." The other agreed "Donald Trump will make lines great again. I trust him to shake things up."

Then they got to the entrance to the Trump Steaks slaughterhouse and were very efficiently killed, gutted and cut into generou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bill Cosby went hunting

Bill Cosby went hunting in the mountains with his banker and lawyer, but their car broke down on the return trip. While hiking back to civilization, they came across a very small farmhouse, and asked to use the phone. The local towing company couldn't do anything until the next day, but the farmer g...

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