A little girl asks her father: "Daddy, what is corruption?"
-- Go bring me a beer and I'll tell you.
-- But mommy said you should stop drinking!
-- Get yourself an ice-cream too while you bring me that beer.
-- Oh, okay!
Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.
Thank god I live in Canada
In Russia its called corruption, in USA
we don't talk about it.
My suspicions about corruption among trawlers has been confirmed
I knew something smelt fishy
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Timmy was asked to do presentation about corruption in a country.
He wrote on the whiteboard: -A country is like a family -Government is the mother who manage the family. -Capitalist is like the father who earns money for family. -The maid is the working class. -I am the citizen while my baby brother is the future of family.
Intrigued, the te...
Below the southern border is a world of corruption and evil
Good thing I live in North Korea, all praise our glorious leader
A man dies and goes to heaven. As he arrives there an angel is waiting for him to give him a tour. They enter through the golden gates and go inside a big bright building. There were a big number of clocks running at different speeds and the man was puzzled. He asked the angel what they were.
Did you know there's deep-seated corruption within the elevator installation business?
It goes all the way to the top. Maybe even the penthouse!
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.
“Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" The witness stared out the window as though he hadn't hear the question. "Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated. The witness still d...
What is the similarity between COVID-19 and corruption?
Both are spreading through the highest levels of the US government.
Why is it so hard to fight corruption in Russia?
Because it knows judo.
The Stanley Cup final will feature a morally bankrupt city, that is built on corruption, greed, and deceit...
Against Las Vegas.
I turned in my doctor for corruption charges when he wouldn't treat my open wound.
He was a good guy but I had no choice. I was losing blood fast and only "snitches get stitches".
A concerned person is sick of all the corruption and injustice in the world and decides they want to expose it by becoming a journalist.
Only 3 weeks later they were caught trying to reveal corruption by some high ranking officials and were put to death.
You could say, they chose the wrong Korea.
Once a Bright and Intelligent young man went for an IAS (Indian Civil Service) interview
Once a Bright and Intelligent young man went for an IAS (Indian Civil Service) interview.
He was asked -
Q 1. When did India get Independence?
He answered - The efforts started long back; but could succeed in 1947.
Q 2. Who were the persons, who played important role in ...
Teacher: "One day our country will be corruption free", which tense is it?
Student: Future impossible tense.
"Y'know with all the civil unrest, political corruption, class divides, drug smuggling, gang wars, police brutality, gun violence, and poor education maybe building a wall to protect us from our southern neighbors isn't such a bad idea"
There's so much corruption in French soccer.
One week I watched Paris play Nice and the next week they were obviously playing Toulouse.
Problem with corruption in Moscow
A lot of people have gotten away from paying spreading tickets in Moscow lately. The police commissioner have to act, he sends out a memo saying: 'You have to stop and fine everyone not matter who they are, or how important they are'.
Next day Putin is driven to work, but his driver drives v...
Never in my life have I seen so much corruption, bribery, bIackmail, jealousy, theft, fraud, deception, and outright bloodshed.
And honestly I'm wondering why I even play Monopoly with my family in the first place.
In my country you can't fight with corruption
but you can deal with it.
The Washington Redskins finally decided to drop their offensive name.
Dan Snyder, owner of the NFL Redskins, has announced that the team is dropping "Washington" from the team name, and it will henceforth be simply known as, "The Redskins." It was reported that he finds the word "Washington" imparts a negative image of poor leadership, mismanagement, corruption, cheat...
The English we Speak....
**Helen:** Hello and welcome to The English We Speak from BBC Learning English, I'm Helen. With me today is quite a frustrated-looking Neil. Neil, what are you doing to that mobile phone?
**Neil:** Argh, I can't get it to make a phone call. It does everything else: it takes photos, it c...
Italians are always adding -a to words. (It's-a me, Mario!)
I find it to be a horrible corruption of the English language.
I say pizz and past, like a _real_ American.
I will not live to see that day :(
Three old men went to see God.
The first old man, an American, asked God when will his country come out of recession. "100 years," God said. The American started weeping profusely. "I will not live to see that day"
Second man, a Russian asked God "When will my country become pros...
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Hillary Clinton speaks to the schoolchildren
Teacher: Class please welcome Hillary Clinton today. She will answer your questions.
Hillary: Hello class. Who has the first question?
*Johnny raises hand*
Johnny: My name is Johnny. I have 3 questions.
- Why did you lie about Benghazi? - What was in those emails you d...
After someone pointed it out to her, my mother asked me to explain the difference between the District of Columbia and the country Colombia.
So explained to her that one of them is famous for it's drugs, corruption and blatant criminal activity, while the other historicly lost to England on penalties in this years world cup.
Topical Jokes for 10/9
(for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host)
In Indiana, a pizza delivery man received a $1,200 tip from college students. College officials applauded the act of charity, until they realized the “pizza” was just a box with $1,200 dollars worth of weed in it.
There was once an extremely handsome, gorgeous doctor Jones. Apart from his good looks he was extremely skilled. One day, he was the only doctor in the hospital, and yet he still managed to tend to and medicate every single patient who needed his help! The community decided to recognize his achievem...
Sod's law: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
Moore's law: The complexity of integrated circuits doubles every 24 months.
Campbell's law: The more any quantitative social indicator is used for social decision making, the more subject it will be to corruption pressures and the more apt it will be to distort and corrupt the social processe...
Mayor goes to a school
After explaining a little bit of the governmental platform, he asks the kids if they had any questions.
Bob raises his hand and says I have 3 questions for you... 1) How did you manage to win the elections, even though you had less votes? 2) Why do you want to attack the neighbouri...