UPJOKE
progressiveneoliberalleftreformistfreegenerousleftistliberalismtolerantloosebroadbountifulbounteoushandsomebig

Liberal Jokes

Recent study shows that 1 in 3 liberals...

are just as stupid as the other two

Why don’t liberals like dentists?

Because dentists make teeth straight and white.

Liberal people support human rights and the idea that people with disabilities should have equal labor market opportunities.

Now there is a disabled guy in the White House and all they do is compalain about it.

What's a liberal's favorite drink?

Wine

What's the difference between 4-layer toilet paper and a liberal arts major?

You don't find 4-layer toilet paper at McDonalds!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a basement full of liberals?

A whine cellar.

Why don't you put a post office next to a liberal arts college?

They'll always argue over the male agenda.

Why does it seem like 90% of Redditors are hardcore liberal atheists?

Because the conservatives are at work.

So a Man's VERY Liberal Neighbors Adopt a Young Child.

One day, the man goes to their house with a warming gift, and says to the little girl-
"What would you like to do when you grow up?" The child responds that she would like to help the homeless. So the man says-
"Alright, how about this. You mow my lawn a and ill give you $12. You can give tha...

Why are liberal politics so confusing?

In liberal politics, left is right and right is wrong

How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

Liberals are more generous than conservatives

Not only are they generous with their own money, they are also generous with other people's money!

(This is just a joke sorry)

Studies show liberals are less susceptible to 'fake news'

I read it on Facebook.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Liberal party leader Justin Trudeau attended the Assembly of First Nations annual summer meeting in Whitehorse.

Trudeau said he wasn't there to speak to the chiefs but to listen.


Then he spoke for almost two hours on his success in bringing the Liberal Party back into the hearts of the Canadian people and how he was going to legalize marijuana and the many ways that he was going to help the Firs...

Dear liberals, stop crying about being called a snowflake.

In 20 years, nobody will remember what snowflakes are anyway.

what do you say to the liberal arts student that just gotten a job

Can I get the cappuccino to go?

My sunscreen said to "apply liberally"...

...so i cried about Trump while i put it on.

The Marine and the Liberal Arts Major

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom
approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a v...

How many Liberals does it take to change a lightbulb?

Liberals: Changing the bulb is too extreme. Let's fix the current one in the dark.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One of my posts got taken down for being“inappropriate/political” because I used the word liberal

How is it political to say “I’m liberal with the amount of kids I fit in my basement”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have a liberal penis.

It’s left-leaning.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's funny how liberals think Donald Trump oppresses women and hates gays

Like he's a Muslim or something.

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me."

I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southe...

The most liberal and forward thinking program has been announced...

Breastfeed The Homeless

No wonder reddit is so liberal

It has a 99% recycling rate

My liberal friend asked me why we think owning gun is a God given right when noone in Bible had one.

I corrected him that Paul had epistle...

Three liberal arts degree students walk into a bar

Next week, it was a Starbucks cafe

What did the liberal arts major say to the engineering grad?

Do you want fries with that?

A liberal wins the powerball!

Millionaires and Billionaires aren't so bad now after all!

What do you call a southern liberal?

A libery'all

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young liberal arts student walks into a bar...

A young liberal arts student walks into a bar. He sat down and ordered 2 beers.

An Asian guy sitting on his right hand side stared at him and went: so, how does it feel to be in the mid 20s but still live with your parents?

The young liberal arts student was instantly surprised. "Yes...

A liberal, a moderate, and a conservative walk into a bar...

the bartender says 'hey, Mitt.'

Greg Abbott and Joe Biden are having a meeting when suddenly a genie appears

"OK, look, here's how it's going to go. I can only grant three wishes, so one of you will get two and the other will only get one. And since you're already men of power and means, you have to choose wishes that will serve your constituents."

Abbott immediately screams that he wants the two...

Why did the liberal not want to talk to the socialist?

Because they are anti-social.

I don't know why people say that no employer will be interested in your liberal arts degree.

I would love to hire someone who has clearly shown that they don't care at all about how much money they make.

A $50 Lesson

A $50 Lesson

I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?' ...

I pulled my kid out of pre-school because they were indoctrinating him into a socialist liberal mindset

Today, his teacher was teaching him how to share.

What's the difference between a liberal and a conservative?

One wants to kill in the first trimester and the other wants to kill in the hundred sixtith trimester.

What do liberal arts majors yell when overwhelmed?

Oh,the humanities!

Degrees

The graduate with a science degree asks,
'Why does it work?'

The graduate with an engineering degree asks,
'How does it work?'

The graduate with an accounting degree asks,
'How much will it cost?'

The graduate with a liberal arts degree asks,
'Do you want fries with ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple are about to have sex, when the man reaches for some lube...

Opening a new bottle, he notices the protective tape on the cap has already been torn off, suggesting the bottle may have tampered with.

That's weird, he thinks to himself.

"Do not use if seal is missing" it reads on the bottle.

The man thinks for a second, but not wanting to ru...

You know, I haven't always been liberal

You would see I'm a big fan of 80's Bush, if you check my search history.

A fascist, liberal, and communist start arguing who’s got a better ideology

To settle their argument, they decide to see whose ideology can make a cat eat mustard.

Fascist takes a spoonful of mustard and forcefully shoves it down the cat’s throat.

Liberal puts mustard between two pieces of tasty meat and thus tricks the cat into eating it.

Communist sme...

What do liberals and homeless people have in common?

They are always asking for change.

Why can't conservatives ever make good chili and barbeque?

Because they have to be liberal with their spices.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a homosexual supreme ruler with neither conservative nor liberal views?

Mod Czar Gay

What's a Liberal Arts Major's Favorite Board Game?......

Trivial Pursuit.

what do you call a liberal humanitarian with a broken toaster

lack toast and tolerant

A conservative, a liberal and a moderate walk into a bar

The conservative orders a whisky, the liberal a white Russian. After a single sip of each they launch into a wild argument with each other.

The bartender turns and asks the moderate what he wants.

Replieth the moderate, "Nothing. I'm the one who has to drive them home."

Why did the pirate not like the old video game with a liberal-leaning political message?

It was hard to port

I was told today the Liberals suck

It was at that point I realized why conservative men are so uptight all the time

I don't care what the liberal media says about the election. Come January, my national leader isn't going to change, and his name starts with T, R, and U.

It's Justin Trudeau. I'm Canadian.

As liberal as I am, Donald Trump and I do have one thing in common.

If Ivanka weren't his daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Liberals think that Trump doesn't like the planet

well then why's he trying to fuck it?

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.