This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community...

If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise Rabbi to represent them in the debate.

However, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Hebrew, they agreed that it would be a 'si...

I debated a flat earthier once

He got so mad that he stormed off saying that he would walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong. He’ll come around eventually

Why did the electrician get killed in a debate?

He used conductive reasoning.

My work colleagues and I had a debate about who we thought America's most notorious assassin was.

Lee Harvey Oswald won by a long shot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hitler, Stalin, and COVID were having a debate

"Who amongst us is the most hated?" Hitler asked

Stalin said "It is I, the Soviet Union killed more people than even you, Hitler!"

COVID says "NONSENSE! I've kept everyone in quarantine for 6 months, ruined global economy, and killed hundreds of thousands of people. I am the most hate...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was masturbating to a debate.

I've made a lot of questionable decisions to end up here, but at least I came to the right conclusion.

I tried having a philosophical debate with Aristotle once, but I couldn’t follow the conversation at all.

It was all Greek to me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Financial Trouble

A husband and wife have fallen on hard times and are at the end of their rope. After much debate and discussion, it is decided that the wife will go out and give blowjobs. The wife leaves for a few hours and then returns home.

Husband- “How’d it go?”

Wife - “Great. I made $300.25.”<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everyone debates butts vs. boobs, but nothing beats a pretty face.

Except for Chris Brown

Hoping the democratic debate tonight doesn't get too rowdy.

Putting *dem* in *panic* would be a whole other *pandemic*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of soldiers are walking in the woods, lost and in need of shelter

After hours they stumble across an old shack, with smoke coming out of it. The leader goes inside to check and hopefully find someone who can help them. Inside is an old woman, all dirty. The man explains their situation and she makes a deal with him. She says: “I haven’t had a good fucking in a lon...

A rabbi, priest, and a shaolin monk walk into a bar.

When they sit down, they begin to debate over which of their religions is the correct one to follow.

After much debate and many drinks, the monk has an idea.

"What if we all tried to convert a very wild, very powerful creature, like a bear, to our own religion? Whoever succeeds must tr...

In light of the recent debates on whether Splash Mountain should remain the same or be remodeled after "The Princess and the Frog", let me give you some hints on which Disney movie I think it should be based on.

1. It's far from the most popular Disney film, but it definitely isn't without its fans.
2. It is notable for taking place in the Americas and featuring a mostly non-white cast.
3. One of the main characters of the movie is a selfish and lazy teenage prince who likes to party.
4. This princ...

There is a huge debate about letting NFL teams play against prison inmates as part of their rehabilitation program.

Understandable, it has a big list of pros and cons.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Settling The Ultimate Debate (LONG, OC)

Jerry didn't really like his name, but it could have been much worse. He could have been named after his father Zorelle. Jerry had a dyslexic brother named Dave who worshipped Christopher Reeve and loved quoting the old Superman movies.

One day while in quarantine, Jerry was up early browsin...

Everyone is debated capital punishment nowadays talking about lethal injection and humane treatment. Me, I think we should just shoot them in the head...

Seems like a no-brainer to me

After a long debate with my Wife, I decied that we won't Vaccine our kids

We think the doctor would do a way better job than us

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day.

She wasn’t unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing. She would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around, then speak to them.

Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would...

Do you have any experience with debate?

Why yes I use debate to catch the fish

If you know anyone who wants to join the debate team

You should try to talk them out of it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Parts of the body having a debate.

One day all the body parts are gathered together to discuss who amongst them should be the leader.

The brain steps forward and says "I should be the leader for i am the cleverest. I keep everyone organized and find solutions to problems."

Everyone is quite impressed until the heart st...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was an election inside a body. The brain said "without me this body loses control, i am the coordinator, so i should be the president"

The lungs objected "if we stop working you all die in a few minutes, we should be the ones who rule".

The heart sneered "if i stop, you will die within a few seconds, i am the president."

The ass exclaimed "I am the most vital organ, you don't get it, but i will show you" and the ass ...

A German, an Italian, a Frenchman, and an Englishme

...are debating philosophy. The question arises over the course of their debates: what separates man from the animals?


"Technology," says the German. "Other creatures have tools, yet none can match the heights of engineering we have accomplished. It is our industry that separates us fro...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

William Stranahan heads to the village for a pint or two...

The old Scotsman is greeted at the pub by his aged mates for their weekly bender. And, aye, they are shameless. They leer at the young lassies. They gripe about the fleeting virility of the young men. They curse the government. They reminisce about the days of yore. But mostly, they drink well throu...

The arguments between the "pro-mask" and "anti-mask" groups is really intense! People are even PRACTICING their arguments at home first.

Just yesterday I heard a 14 y/o boy tell his friend that at home he mask debates into a sock!

Congratulations to the winner of last night's presidential debate!

The Voyager probe, flying away from Earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour.

A bipolar patient, dementia patient, and narcissist walk into a club.

And the announcer says “Welcome to the first 2020 presidential debate.”

What do you call someone who frequently engages in arguments about masks?

A public mask debater.

In light of the Net Neutrality debate, I want to say something to support my American friends.

Thoughts and prayers.

An American and a Chinese man are talking in a cafe. They’re engaged in a debate over their two systems of government.

The American says, “Look, our system might not be perfect, but we have freedom!”

The Chinese man asks, “Freedom to do what?”

The American responds, “Well, for one, I can go down to Washington DC, walk up to the President’s desk, and say ‘Mr. President, I don’t like the way you’re runni...

My blind girlfriend and I were having a debate about whether Jesus was a Jew...

....but i just can’t respect her views, since she is a not-see

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Five friends were sitting around, debating which Pixar movie is the greatest

After a few hours of debate, no one was willing to concede, and it was decided that a vote must be held. Unfortunately, with so few friends present, it was clear that they would need to bring the vote to the greater public. The group decided that each friend would make a plea to the subreddit of the...

I used to date an English teacher...

...but we broke up after a debate over the proper usage of the colon.

I Joined the Debate Club.

The Mass Debate Club.

A husband and wife were out in the forest mushroom picking

The husband thought he found a mushroom and picked it up. To his disappointment it was an ordinary rock. Enraged, he threw it. After he threw it, he heard something glass breaking.

The pair rushed over to see what it is, and found a shack in the forest. A man in very bright clothing came out....

The American President has challenged the British Prime Minister to a debate.

Nobody knows what may happen.

Trump may trump May or May may trump Trump.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boob, vagina and asshole are having a debate on who is the greatest among all of them. Boob: I produce milk; Vagina: I produce babies;

why are you still reading? It is your turn to speak.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a debate in my class about the Mexican/US border

Some argued that a wall was needed, and a rather racist friend of mine jokingly said:
"Mexicans are rather dumb, some barbed wire and such would be more than enough to keep those thieves out." After a short pause, he added: "As long as they don't start to steal the border itself".

Unsurpr...

TIL in 2015 three inmates from a maximum security prison beat Harvard’s debate team.

With their fists.

A Star Trek forum exists where Trekkies can debate additions to the universe's lore.

It's called Prose and Khans.

Donald Trump answers the question during the debate...

Mr Trump, what is 2+2? "I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, "What's 2+2"? And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can...

I like to debate flat earthers

I will go to no ends to shut them up

What Do You Call Someone Who Argues About Sailboats?

A Mast-Debater!

A Chinese and a USA general debate on who's army is better taken care of..

"Our army is well fed. They're getting 1000 calories in meals every day!", says the Chinese general.


The USA general thinks for a second and replies: "Our soldiers receive over 4000 calories daily!"


"That's impossible," the Chinese general scoffs, "Who could possibly eat half a...

What do you call an argument that suddenly changes topics?

A debate and switch.

International Doctor Debate

A British doctor says: "In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for a job."

The German doctor says: "That's nothing,
in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend does not like that I debate and back my shit up.

Do you know where I can get a plunger?

I used to run a pro-life debate team.

No one could de-fetus.

Age old debate.

People these days always talk about how disgusting butchers and people who sell meat are, however I've found that people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

Two mathematicians are arguing at a restaurant.

"The state of mathematics in this country is terrible", insists the first mathematician. "It's a wonder how the average person even manages to get by in their day-to-day life."

The second mathematician says, "That's hardly true. Mathematics education is actually pretty good nowadays. People m...

Why did Trump refuse the debate with Bernie?

Because chickens tend to run from people with a last name of Sanders.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rabbi and the Pope have a religious debate

Several of the Pope's officials are concerend about the growing Jewish population in Rome, so the encourage the Holy Father to set up a religious debate with the head Rabbi. If the Rabbi loses, he must leave Rome. If he wins, they can stay.

However, the Rabbi doesn't speak Italian or Latin an...

The President of the United States is going to debate the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Nobody's sure who's going to win.

Trump may trump May, May may trump Trump.

r/wordavalanches

We had a lively debate in physics...

It was a conversation of energy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Theological debate

One day, the Pope decided he'd ban all Jews from the Vatican. The Jews understandibly got really angry about this, so the Pope proclaimed that if a Jew could manage to beat him in a theological debate, they could stay.

The Jews chose their wisest rabbi for the religious debate against the Pop...

There once was a heated debate between two groups of art students

One group wanted two draw a necklace and one group wanted to draw a scarf. They decided that the only way to make a decision was by taking a vote so that's what they did.

In the end, they drew a tie.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The men in my debate team only want one thing...

And it's fucking discussing!

So aliens from Mars comes down to Earth...

...And they're friendly! The leaders of the world and the aliens plan a huge televised event where the leaders can ask questions on whatever they want.

During this event, the pope is up to talk to the aliens.

"I know this question may sound odd to you gentlemen," the pope starts to ask...

Hillary Clinton has a seizure during the debate...

"Mrs. Clinton," the Moderator asks, "What is your plan to lower the national debt?"

Suddenly, Hillary flails her arms around, rolls her eyes wildly, foams at the mouth, and gibbers incoherently for several awkward minutes. Finally, she collapses in a heap and soils herself.

"Hey!" Trum...

My favorite joke from tonight's debate

"you have 2 minutes"

The rabbi's debate

Four rabbis are arguing about the purity of an old oven. Three think it need to be purified, but the last argues it is pure.

The contrary rabbi declares, "If I'm right, then this room will prove it!" Suddenly, a large crack appears on the wall opposite to the men.

"This old place is f...

I was gonna start a Debate Club

But I got talked out of it

An Italian and A Greek debate culture.

An Italian and a Greek are debating the intellectual and cultural values of their respective countries. The Greek scoffs, "You Italians learned everything you know from us Greeks. For instance, we came up with the Classical Pantheon." The Italian replies, "Yes, but we improved upon everything you di...

Husband and wife debate

A man and his wife are walking down the street when the wife turns to her husband and says “honey, I think it’s snowing” the man looks back at her and says “no it’s raining.”

To settle the debate between the two they ask the friendly redcoat standing at the end of the street. The redcoat, Ru...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During debates, when my opponents said a word that had different meanings based on its spelling, I would take advantage of it and use the word's other meaning to attack them personally.

It was an ad homonym.

The Presidential Debate

We don't know if Hillary is telling the truth, and we're hoping Trump isn't

I won a math debate today.

... but I gueth that thould be kepth private.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had a debate with myself about masturbation...

... On one hand it's feels good. And on the other it feels great!

All Trump has to say to beat Hillary in the debates

"I know Hillary can be bought. I have the receipts."

Why do whole numbers struggle in debates with decimal places?

They have no point to make

I recently had a heated debate with a mathematician about fractions

It's fair to say that our opinions were divided

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Russian captain and an American captain debate which country builds the best submarines...

They are standing at a harbor and they've been arguing for hours. The American says "Our subs have such efficient air filter systems that they can stay underwater for months at a time".

The Russian replies:"A few months? Laughsble. Our Russian subs have such advanced air filters that they ca...

The oxford english dictonary once debated whether or not to remove the letter 'u' from the alphabet. Why didn't they?

Because of Rick Astley

On the immigration debate, Donald Trump said of other countries: "They're not sending us their best people."

On a side note, Mary Anne MacLeod illegally migrated to the US in 1929. A few years later she gave birth to Donald Trump.

So he may have a point.

A Creationist and Atheist Debate

Creationist: If man evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Atheist: If Adam came from dirt, why is there still dirt?

[Bad Joke OC] Why shouldn't you interrupt a debate between cows in a marijuana field?

The steaks are too high.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.