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Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community...

If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise Rabbi to represent them in the debate.

However, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Hebrew, they agreed that it would be a 'si...

My blind girlfriend and I were having a debate about whether Jesus was a Jew...

....but i just can’t respect her views, since she is a not-see

TIL in 2015 three inmates from a maximum security prison beat Harvard’s debate team.

With their fists.

I Joined the Debate Club.

The Mass Debate Club.

This happened in my Debate class today as we were discussing politicians...

Student A: I hate politicians. Kill 99% of them and I wouldn’t care. Just don’t touch my man Bernie Sanders.

Student B, immediately, without skipping a BEAT: Oh so does this make Bernie part of the 1%?

A Chinese and a USA general debate on who's army is better taken care of..

"Our army is well fed. They're getting 1000 calories in meals every day!", says the Chinese general.


The USA general thinks for a second and replies: "Our soldiers receive over 4000 calories daily!"


"That's impossible," the Chinese general scoffs, "Who could possibly eat half a...

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Everyone debates butts vs. boobs, but nothing beats a pretty face.

Except for Chris Brown

An American and a Chinese man are talking in a cafe. They’re engaged in a debate over their two systems of government.

The American says, “Look, our system might not be perfect, but we have freedom!”

The Chinese man asks, “Freedom to do what?”

The American responds, “Well, for one, I can go down to Washington DC, walk up to the President’s desk, and say ‘Mr. President, I don’t like the way you’re runni...

I’m really torn between the pro life and pro choice debate

On one hand, I love killing babies. On the other hand, I don’t really want women to have choices

After a long debate with my Wife, I decied that we won't Vaccine our kids

We think the doctor would do a way better job than us

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Hitler, Salin, and EA were having a debate

"Who amongst us is the most hated?" Hitler asked

Stalin said "It is I, the Soviet Union killed more people than even you, Hitler!"

EA says "NONSENSE! I've ruined dozens of game franchises. I am the most hated!"

Hitler said "Why don't we hold a vote in hell and see who is the mo...

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My girlfriend does not like that I debate and back my shit up.

Do you know where I can get a plunger?

If you know anyone who wants to join the debate team

You should try to talk them out of it.

A Star Trek forum exists where Trekkies can debate additions to the universe's lore.

It's called Prose and Khans.

I like to debate flat earthers

I will go to no ends to shut them up

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There was a debate in my class about the Mexican/US border

Some argued that a wall was needed, and a rather racist friend of mine jokingly said:
"Mexicans are rather dumb, some barbed wire and such would be more than enough to keep those thieves out." After a short pause, he added: "As long as they don't start to steal the border itself".

Unsurpr...

International Doctor Debate

A British doctor says: "In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for a job."

The German doctor says: "That's nothing,
in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for a...

The American President has challenged the British Prime Minister to a debate.

Nobody knows what may happen.

Trump may trump May or May may trump Trump.

Normally I hate those trashy, fake, rigged reality TV shows...

But I might watch the presidential debate tonight anyway.

Congratulations to the winner of last night's presidential debate!

The Voyager probe, flying away from Earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour.

In light of the Net Neutrality debate, I want to say something to support my American friends.

Thoughts and prayers.

Three philosophers are having a debate

Three philosophers are sitting in a study, discussing ideas. One says "Socrates once said I know that I know nothing. Which means whoever is most aware of their own stupidity is the smartest"

"I am the stupidest" another says, "for I do not know how to tie my own shoelaces and must get my wif...

We had a lively debate in physics...

It was a conversation of energy

Did you hear about the Pikachu who got in a debate over Chinese philosophy.

It hurt itself in its Confucian.

A German, an Italian, a Frenchman and an Englishman are having a philosophical debate.

The question arises: What separates man from the animals?


"Technology," says the German. "Other creatures have tools, yet none can match the hights of engineering we have accomplished. It is our industry that separates us from the beasts."


"I disagree," announces the Italian. "...

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A boob, vagina and asshole are having a debate on who is the greatest among all of them. Boob: I produce milk; Vagina: I produce babies;

why are you still reading? It is your turn to speak.

I won a math debate today.

... but I gueth that thould be kepth private.

The President of the United States is going to debate the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Nobody's sure who's going to win.

Trump may trump May, May may trump Trump.

r/wordavalanches

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A rabbi and the Pope have a religious debate

Several of the Pope's officials are concerend about the growing Jewish population in Rome, so the encourage the Holy Father to set up a religious debate with the head Rabbi. If the Rabbi loses, he must leave Rome. If he wins, they can stay.

However, the Rabbi doesn't speak Italian or Latin an...

There once was a heated debate between two groups of art students

One group wanted two draw a necklace and one group wanted to draw a scarf. They decided that the only way to make a decision was by taking a vote so that's what they did.

In the end, they drew a tie.

If the US has a heated debate over global warming that polarizes the nation

desn't that mean problem solved?

Why do whole numbers struggle in debates with decimal places?

They have no point to make

Age old debate.

People these days always talk about how disgusting butchers and people who sell meat are, however I've found that people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

My favorite joke from tonight's debate

"you have 2 minutes"

The rabbi's debate

Four rabbis are arguing about the purity of an old oven. Three think it need to be purified, but the last argues it is pure.

The contrary rabbi declares, "If I'm right, then this room will prove it!" Suddenly, a large crack appears on the wall opposite to the men.

"This old place is f...

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The men in my debate team only want one thing...

And it's fucking discussing!

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During debates, when my opponents said a word that had different meanings based on its spelling, I would take advantage of it and use the word's other meaning to attack them personally.

It was an ad homonym.

Donald Trump answers the question during the debate...

Mr Trump, what is 2+2? "I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, "What's 2+2"? And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can...

I was gonna start a Debate Club

But I got talked out of it

On the immigration debate, Donald Trump said of other countries: "They're not sending us their best people."

On a side note, Mary Anne MacLeod illegally migrated to the US in 1929. A few years later she gave birth to Donald Trump.

So he may have a point.

I used to run a pro-life debate team.

No one could de-fetus.

Did you hear about the amputee debate team?

They almost won the championship, but it turns out their argument didn’t have a leg to stand on.

[Bad Joke OC] Why shouldn't you interrupt a debate between cows in a marijuana field?

The steaks are too high.

Why did Trump refuse the debate with Bernie?

Because chickens tend to run from people with a last name of Sanders.

Husband and wife debate

A man and his wife are walking down the street when the wife turns to her husband and says “honey, I think it’s snowing” the man looks back at her and says “no it’s raining.”

To settle the debate between the two they ask the friendly redcoat standing at the end of the street. The redcoat, Ru...

I recently had a heated debate with a mathematician about fractions

It's fair to say that our opinions were divided

People think I'm an idiot, just because I'm a homeless man that asks people to debate with me.

I beg to differ.

A Creationist and Atheist Debate

Creationist: If man evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Atheist: If Adam came from dirt, why is there still dirt?

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I had a debate with myself about masturbation...

... On one hand it's feels good. And on the other it feels great!

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Theological debate

One day, the Pope decided he'd ban all Jews from the Vatican. The Jews understandibly got really angry about this, so the Pope proclaimed that if a Jew could manage to beat him in a theological debate, they could stay.

The Jews chose their wisest rabbi for the religious debate against the Pop...

Hillary Clinton has a seizure during the debate...

"Mrs. Clinton," the Moderator asks, "What is your plan to lower the national debt?"

Suddenly, Hillary flails her arms around, rolls her eyes wildly, foams at the mouth, and gibbers incoherently for several awkward minutes. Finally, she collapses in a heap and soils herself.

"Hey!" Trum...

An Italian and A Greek debate culture.

An Italian and a Greek are debating the intellectual and cultural values of their respective countries. The Greek scoffs, "You Italians learned everything you know from us Greeks. For instance, we came up with the Classical Pantheon." The Italian replies, "Yes, but we improved upon everything you di...

I can’t believe the way they used the Childrens Health Insurance Program during the budget debate...

It was like a bargaining CHIP.

The Presidential Debate

We don't know if Hillary is telling the truth, and we're hoping Trump isn't

I want to debate flat earthers...

I just haven't come around to it yet.

All Trump has to say to beat Hillary in the debates

"I know Hillary can be bought. I have the receipts."

I was in the debate team in high school.

My best debate was about math. People still say I was the best math debater.

I'm organising a debate to decide which member of U2 is the best.

I'm doing it completely pro bono

What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep?

Microphones!

Did you hear about the debate between Houston and Florida?

It's Roe v. Wade

Did you guys hear about that crazy thing Trump said at the debate last night? I couldn't believe it.

He said "Ohio is a spectacular place."

How do you settle an abortion debate with your wife?

Push her down the stairs.

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A Russian captain and an American captain debate which country builds the best submarines...

They are standing at a harbor and they've been arguing for hours. The American says "Our subs have such efficient air filter systems that they can stay underwater for months at a time".

The Russian replies:"A few months? Laughsble. Our Russian subs have such advanced air filters that they ca...

Yesterday, both houses of Congress met to debate legalizing marijuana.

It was a joint session.

Two trees in the forest are having a debate.

Two trees in the forest are having a debate. There's a sapling between them, and they're arguing over whose it is. The first tree says "It's a son of a beech." Second tree retorts "No way, it's a son of a birch!" Back and forth they go, until a woodpecker comes along and asks what all the fuss is ab...

I got into a debate with a handicapped man today...

Apparently it didn't help my case when I told him he didn't have a leg to stand on...

What do you get after a religious debate?

Death threats.

It's the final day of the annual pirate convention, and the debate over the site of next years convention begins...

One pirate says, "how about ARRRbys!", many pirates nod in agreement.

Another pirate says, "how about ARRRkansas", even more pirates are pleased at that suggestion.

A third pirate says, "how about Boston!", a confused murmur spreads across the room, "stay with me here" says the pirate,...

In tonight's debate Trump said we can't trust the rebels

I'm not surprised; he has always reminded me of Emperor Palpatine.

A pessimist and an optimist are watching one of the 2016 debates...

The pessimist says "It can't get any worse" and the optimist says "Oh yes it can!"

A man with heart problems wins 100 million dollars

A group of his friends are the only people who know about this and they debate how they should tell him, considering that due to his condition such a sudden news might cause his heart to stop because of joy.
So they decide that the most calm person in the group would go tell him.

The frien...

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Rough life

A cucumber, a pickle and a penis are in a heated debate over who's life is more difficult.

The cucumber says "man, I've got it rough...when I get big, fat and juicy, they rip me off the vine, slice me up, put me in a salad and eat me!"

The pickle laughs and says "that's nothing. When I...

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The pope decides to remove all of the jews from italy.

The jews, obviously, disagree with this; so the pope agrees to have a debate with a rabbi for if the jews should stay in italy or not. The jews vote and decide on an old, wise rabbi.

The time for the debate comes, and it dawns on them that they can't understand each other, so they decide to ...

Martin Love was a very successful fitness coach.

He was incredibly strict and his long list of 100 rules was infamous, but you couldn't argue with the results. People always reached their target weight within a month. But this required absolute obedience to the rules, and commitment to Martin Love's regime. To make sure people knew exactly what th...

Who lost the American Presidential Debate?

America.

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A Nazi is beating a Soviet at a political debate. The Soviet says he needs to take a bathroom break.

The Nazi says: "Now you're just Stalin".

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Say what you will about the Democratic debate...

but Hillary Clinton didn't refer to the size of her penis.

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All the organs have a debate about who should be in charge...

The brain said: *I should be in charge, I control all the parts and think for everyone!*

The legs said: *I should be in charge. I carry everyone around and get them to where they want to go.*

All the other organs continued with similar claims as to why they should be in charge. The hea...

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The Pope wakes up one day and decides he doesn't want any Jews in Rome

The Pope calls the Rabbi for Rome and informs him of his decision. The Rabbi protests and says "Wait, that's it, we're not even gonna talk about this?" So the Pope asks what he wants to do and the Rabbi says that he wants to have a debate the following week. The Pope agrees and they part ways.
...

Why is the sharpener always invited to the pencil case debates?

He always makes a good point and the pencils tend to very blunt when he's not around.

Donald and Hillary walk into a presidential debate.

And America walks out

In university I was going to join the Debate Team,

but someone talked me out of it.

Trump's last two chances to save his election campaign at the second debate:

1. Be endorsed by Dave.

2. Bring out a resurrected Harambe on stage.

The Sanders/Cruz debate was really weird

It was like peeking into an alternate dimension where both parties had hindsight

The first US presidential debate will last for about 90 minutes.

Alternatively, that's about six coughing fits long for the Democrats or the time it takes to completely offend equal number of minority demographics for the Republicans.

I was surprised while watching the presidential debate last night...

I didn't know my TV had the comedy channel.

I decided to vote for the most presidential and least controversial person I saw on the debate last night...

So I'm going to vote for Lester Holt.

What piece of sporting equipment is best for provoking a debate?

Discus.

Live debate - where is the "China" counter?

Someone must be doing this :)

I keep burning food with my Presidential Debate microwave...

I set it for 2 minutes but it never stops on time.

Who Loves Debates?

De fishes

So the presidential debate is tonight.

Even vegans can't stay away from this pig roast.

You know what really surprised me about the debate tonight?

Turns out it *is* possible to have a worse moderator than the team over at /r/news!

When political debate comes up this Thanksgiving break and you find someone at the other end of spectrum just say one thing.

WRONG. WRONG. WRONG.

Recently, I was watching the Republican debate, and they were debating abortion.

Donald Trump was talking about how opposed to it he was, but I thought to myself, come on Don, you're a businessman. I bet you wouldn't be this upset if you could charge them an early termination fee.

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The Silent Debate

Note: This is a joke best told in person by somebody who's not afraid to go all out with gesticulations and accents.

The silent debate was a yearly event that was the Super Bowl of the intellectual world. It was watched live by tens of thousands, and broadcast on countless major networks. Fo...

I got into a heated debate with my friend about time travel...

We really opened a can of wormholes.

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What does a horny mathematician with a lisp do to have fun?

**Math debates**

What's your opinion on the mobius strip debate?

I find it a tad one-sided.

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