Do you have any experience with debate?

Why yes I use debate to catch the fish

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Everyone debates butts vs. boobs, but nothing beats a pretty face.

Except for Chris Brown

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Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community...

If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise Rabbi to represent them in the debate.

However, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Hebrew, they agreed that it would be a 'si...

My blind girlfriend and I were having a debate about whether Jesus was a Jew...

....but i just can’t respect her views, since she is a not-see

This happened in my Debate class today as we were discussing politicians...

Student A: I hate politicians. Kill 99% of them and I wouldn’t care. Just don’t touch my man Bernie Sanders.

Student B, immediately, without skipping a BEAT: Oh so does this make Bernie part of the 1%?

After a long debate with my Wife, I decied that we won't Vaccine our kids

We think the doctor would do a way better job than us

I like to debate flat earthers

I will go to no ends to shut them up

TIL in 2015 three inmates from a maximum security prison beat Harvard’s debate team.

With their fists.

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Hitler, Salin, and EA were having a debate

"Who amongst us is the most hated?" Hitler asked

Stalin said "It is I, the Soviet Union killed more people than even you, Hitler!"

EA says "NONSENSE! I've ruined dozens of game franchises. I am the most hated!"

Hitler said "Why don't we hold a vote in hell and see who is the mo...

An American and a Chinese man are talking in a cafe. They’re engaged in a debate over their two systems of government.

The American says, “Look, our system might not be perfect, but we have freedom!”

The Chinese man asks, “Freedom to do what?”

The American responds, “Well, for one, I can go down to Washington DC, walk up to the President’s desk, and say ‘Mr. President, I don’t like the way you’re runni...

A Star Trek forum exists where Trekkies can debate additions to the universe's lore.

It's called Prose and Khans.

A Chinese and a USA general debate on who's army is better taken care of..

"Our army is well fed. They're getting 1000 calories in meals every day!", says the Chinese general.


The USA general thinks for a second and replies: "Our soldiers receive over 4000 calories daily!"


"That's impossible," the Chinese general scoffs, "Who could possibly eat half a...

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Five friends were sitting around, debating which Pixar movie is the greatest

After a few hours of debate, no one was willing to concede, and it was decided that a vote must be held. Unfortunately, with so few friends present, it was clear that they would need to bring the vote to the greater public. The group decided that each friend would make a plea to the subreddit of the...

A German, an Italian, a Frenchman and an Englishman are having a philosophical debate.

The question arises: What separates man from the animals?


"Technology," says the German. "Other creatures have tools, yet none can match the hights of engineering we have accomplished. It is our industry that separates us from the beasts."


"I disagree," announces the Italian. "...

If you know anyone who wants to join the debate team

You should try to talk them out of it.

I Joined the Debate Club.

The Mass Debate Club.

A father had a very rowdy son

He would never listen to his father, always disobeying rules, and being rebellious at every chance. The father often told the boy, "You should be more respectful of others", to no avail as his words fell on deaf ears. His pranks were, quite frankly, annoying to the neighbours, but what did the son c...

Congratulations to the winner of last night's presidential debate!

The Voyager probe, flying away from Earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour.

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My girlfriend does not like that I debate and back my shit up.

Do you know where I can get a plunger?

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There was a debate in my class about the Mexican/US border

Some argued that a wall was needed, and a rather racist friend of mine jokingly said:
"Mexicans are rather dumb, some barbed wire and such would be more than enough to keep those thieves out." After a short pause, he added: "As long as they don't start to steal the border itself".

Unsurpr...

In light of the Net Neutrality debate, I want to say something to support my American friends.

Thoughts and prayers.

International Doctor Debate

A British doctor says: "In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for a job."

The German doctor says: "That's nothing,
in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for a...

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A boob, vagina and asshole are having a debate on who is the greatest among all of them. Boob: I produce milk; Vagina: I produce babies;

why are you still reading? It is your turn to speak.

The American President has challenged the British Prime Minister to a debate.

Nobody knows what may happen.

Trump may trump May or May may trump Trump.

I hate this show.

It’s so poorly written. They introduce so many new characters, it’s impossible to keep track. And it seems like some of them hardly do anything, they just hang around and say, like, five lines per episode.

What’s it called? Hang on, let me check.

“Presidential debate.”

The President of the United States is going to debate the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Nobody's sure who's going to win.

Trump may trump May, May may trump Trump.

r/wordavalanches

We had a lively debate in physics...

It was a conversation of energy

Did you hear about the Pikachu who got in a debate over Chinese philosophy.

It hurt itself in its Confucian.

What do you call a public argument about NOFAP?

A mass-debate.

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Rough life

A cucumber, a pickle and a penis are in a heated debate over who's life is more difficult.

The cucumber says "man, I've got it rough...when I get big, fat and juicy, they rip me off the vine, slice me up, put me in a salad and eat me!"

The pickle laughs and says "that's nothing. When I...

I won a math debate today.

... but I gueth that thould be kepth private.

There once was a heated debate between two groups of art students

One group wanted two draw a necklace and one group wanted to draw a scarf. They decided that the only way to make a decision was by taking a vote so that's what they did.

In the end, they drew a tie.

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A rabbi and the Pope have a religious debate

Several of the Pope's officials are concerend about the growing Jewish population in Rome, so the encourage the Holy Father to set up a religious debate with the head Rabbi. If the Rabbi loses, he must leave Rome. If he wins, they can stay.

However, the Rabbi doesn't speak Italian or Latin an...

The rabbi's debate

Four rabbis are arguing about the purity of an old oven. Three think it need to be purified, but the last argues it is pure.

The contrary rabbi declares, "If I'm right, then this room will prove it!" Suddenly, a large crack appears on the wall opposite to the men.

"This old place is f...

Age old debate.

People these days always talk about how disgusting butchers and people who sell meat are, however I've found that people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

Son of a beech or a son of a birch

An Elm and an Oak tree in a forest are debating what type of tree the new sapling growing between them is.

The Elm says that is a son of a beech, oh no the Oak says that is a son of a birch. The debate goes on until one day a woodpecker fly's over and lands near by. The Oak says hey Mr Woodp...

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The pope decides to remove all of the jews from italy.

The jews, obviously, disagree with this; so the pope agrees to have a debate with a rabbi for if the jews should stay in italy or not. The jews vote and decide on an old, wise rabbi.

The time for the debate comes, and it dawns on them that they can't understand each other, so they decide to ...

A man with heart problems wins 100 million dollars

A group of his friends are the only people who know about this and they debate how they should tell him, considering that due to his condition such a sudden news might cause his heart to stop because of joy.
So they decide that the most calm person in the group would go tell him.

The frien...

If the US has a heated debate over global warming that polarizes the nation

desn't that mean problem solved?

Donald Trump answers the question during the debate...

Mr Trump, what is 2+2? "I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, "What's 2+2"? And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can...

I used to run a pro-life debate team.

No one could de-fetus.

Why did Trump refuse the debate with Bernie?

Because chickens tend to run from people with a last name of Sanders.

Martin Love was a very successful fitness coach.

He was incredibly strict and his long list of 100 rules was infamous, but you couldn't argue with the results. People always reached their target weight within a month. But this required absolute obedience to the rules, and commitment to Martin Love's regime. To make sure people knew exactly what th...

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The Pope wakes up one day and decides he doesn't want any Jews in Rome

The Pope calls the Rabbi for Rome and informs him of his decision. The Rabbi protests and says "Wait, that's it, we're not even gonna talk about this?" So the Pope asks what he wants to do and the Rabbi says that he wants to have a debate the following week. The Pope agrees and they part ways.
...

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During debates, when my opponents said a word that had different meanings based on its spelling, I would take advantage of it and use the word's other meaning to attack them personally.

It was an ad homonym.

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The men in my debate team only want one thing...

And it's fucking discussing!

I was gonna start a Debate Club

But I got talked out of it

On the immigration debate, Donald Trump said of other countries: "They're not sending us their best people."

On a side note, Mary Anne MacLeod illegally migrated to the US in 1929. A few years later she gave birth to Donald Trump.

So he may have a point.

The oxford english dictonary once debated whether or not to remove the letter 'u' from the alphabet. Why didn't they?

Because of Rick Astley

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I had a stutter when I was a kid

It was embarrassing and all of the other kids made fun of me for most of my life. Finally, when I was a junior in highschool, my parents sent me to a doctor.
“D-d-doctor”, says I, “p-p-please help me. I h-h-h-have this terrible stutter”
Doc said “Son, I have some bad news for you....your peni...

What do you call a group of 8th grade boys arguing about calculus?

Math debaters

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What does a horny mathematician with a lisp do to have fun?

**Math debates**

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Theological debate

One day, the Pope decided he'd ban all Jews from the Vatican. The Jews understandibly got really angry about this, so the Pope proclaimed that if a Jew could manage to beat him in a theological debate, they could stay.

The Jews chose their wisest rabbi for the religious debate against the Pop...

Did you hear about the amputee debate team?

They almost won the championship, but it turns out their argument didn’t have a leg to stand on.

My favorite joke from tonight's debate

"you have 2 minutes"

[Bad Joke OC] Why shouldn't you interrupt a debate between cows in a marijuana field?

The steaks are too high.

After years of research and exploration, an Archaeologist discovered an ancient book...

The book was said to answer any question asked of it. Being a professional, the archaeologist took the book back to his prestigious university, which was home to several leaders of certain fields. To research the book's power in a controlled manner, the archaeologist rounds up three of the universit...

I debated whether or not to post a joke about the recent "what word is being said?" meme

But I've never been one to rest on my yanny's.

Husband and wife debate

A man and his wife are walking down the street when the wife turns to her husband and says “honey, I think it’s snowing” the man looks back at her and says “no it’s raining.”

To settle the debate between the two they ask the friendly redcoat standing at the end of the street. The redcoat, Ru...

The Presidential Debate

We don't know if Hillary is telling the truth, and we're hoping Trump isn't

A Creationist and Atheist Debate

Creationist: If man evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Atheist: If Adam came from dirt, why is there still dirt?

People think I'm an idiot, just because I'm a homeless man that asks people to debate with me.

I beg to differ.

Hillary Clinton has a seizure during the debate...

"Mrs. Clinton," the Moderator asks, "What is your plan to lower the national debt?"

Suddenly, Hillary flails her arms around, rolls her eyes wildly, foams at the mouth, and gibbers incoherently for several awkward minutes. Finally, she collapses in a heap and soils herself.

"Hey!" Trum...

An Italian and A Greek debate culture.

An Italian and a Greek are debating the intellectual and cultural values of their respective countries. The Greek scoffs, "You Italians learned everything you know from us Greeks. For instance, we came up with the Classical Pantheon." The Italian replies, "Yes, but we improved upon everything you di...

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I had a debate with myself about masturbation...

... On one hand it's feels good. And on the other it feels great!

All Trump has to say to beat Hillary in the debates

"I know Hillary can be bought. I have the receipts."

I can’t believe the way they used the Childrens Health Insurance Program during the budget debate...

It was like a bargaining CHIP.

I was in the debate team in high school.

My best debate was about math. People still say I was the best math debater.

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Two women go on a night out...

Two women, Mary and Margaret, go on a night out, leaving their husbands at home. After a heavy night of Guinness, and while walking home through a large cemetery they both have a strong urge to relieve themselves. They each pop a squat behind a bush, and after doing the deed Mary calls over "psssst,...

I want to debate flat earthers...

I just haven't come around to it yet.

Did you hear about the debate between Houston and Florida?

It's Roe v. Wade

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A Russian captain and an American captain debate which country builds the best submarines...

They are standing at a harbor and they've been arguing for hours. The American says "Our subs have such efficient air filter systems that they can stay underwater for months at a time".

The Russian replies:"A few months? Laughsble. Our Russian subs have such advanced air filters that they ca...

I'm organising a debate to decide which member of U2 is the best.

I'm doing it completely pro bono

Did you guys hear about that crazy thing Trump said at the debate last night? I couldn't believe it.

He said "Ohio is a spectacular place."

The billionaire and the architect

Los Angeles has always been a place for these massive feats of human accomplishment. Case in point, in 1989, a local billionaire spent millions of his own money to create a unique building of fantastic architecture, one that would draw people in for thousands of miles. He hired a small time architec...

Two trees in the forest are having a debate.

Two trees in the forest are having a debate. There's a sapling between them, and they're arguing over whose it is. The first tree says "It's a son of a beech." Second tree retorts "No way, it's a son of a birch!" Back and forth they go, until a woodpecker comes along and asks what all the fuss is ab...

Yesterday, both houses of Congress met to debate legalizing marijuana.

It was a joint session.

It's the final day of the annual pirate convention, and the debate over the site of next years convention begins...

One pirate says, "how about ARRRbys!", many pirates nod in agreement.

Another pirate says, "how about ARRRkansas", even more pirates are pleased at that suggestion.

A third pirate says, "how about Boston!", a confused murmur spreads across the room, "stay with me here" says the pirate,...

Who lost the American Presidential Debate?

America.

In tonight's debate Trump said we can't trust the rebels

I'm not surprised; he has always reminded me of Emperor Palpatine.

I got into a debate with a handicapped man today...

Apparently it didn't help my case when I told him he didn't have a leg to stand on...

A pessimist and an optimist are watching one of the 2016 debates...

The pessimist says "It can't get any worse" and the optimist says "Oh yes it can!"

Never argue about climate change

It always turns into a heated debate

What do you get after a religious debate?

Death threats.

How do you settle an abortion debate with your wife?

Push her down the stairs.

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Two boys were arguing in the street day...

...and the village priest walked by and heard their squabbling over what to call an animal.

"No, no, no" said Johnny. "Its a mule. My daddy said you call it a mule. Daddy said it's called a mule, hes the smartest man I know, you call it a mule!"

"Well I dont care what your daddy says,"...

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Say what you will about the Democratic debate...

but Hillary Clinton didn't refer to the size of her penis.

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A Nazi is beating a Soviet at a political debate. The Soviet says he needs to take a bathroom break.

The Nazi says: "Now you're just Stalin".

Normally I hate those trashy, fake, rigged reality TV shows...

But I might watch the presidential debate tonight anyway.

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