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Pineapples Jokes

What do you call the trend to cancel pineapples?

#Banananas

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They say pineapples make your semen taste better

I find that it just ruins the pineapple

Knowledge is knowing that pineapples are not a type of apple

Wisdom is knowing not to put them on pizza.

Why was the shark eating pineapples?

Because it makes seamen taste better.

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The best joke I’ve ever heard which never fails to make me smile whenever I remember it.(NSFW)

Three explorers get lost in a huge jungle. After wandering around for days, they are found and captured by a jungle tribe. The tribesmen take the explorers to their leader and drop them at his feet. The chieftain looks at them for a moment and says, “ The three of you will die unless you manage to d...

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Pineapples

A stockboy is stacking fruit on a display, when a lady asks "Do you have any pineapples? " The stockboy replies "Sorry ma'am, we are out of pineapples, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning" The lady looks around some more. A few mins later she runs back to him asking where the pineappl...

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Pineapples

An Englishman, a Spaniard, and a Frenchman were on a ship headed towards the New World. On their journey, they encountered a bad storm, and were shipwrecked. They awoke and found themselves on an island, tied up and captives of a cannibal tribe.

The leader of the cannibals tells them that if ...

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An old man is walking down the street with a bag slung over his shoulder...

A young man is walking down the street in the opposite direction. As they are about to pass, the curious youngster asks, “Hey old man, what’s in the bag?”. The old man replies, “In this bag young sir are magic apples!”. The young fella replies, “Bullshit!”. The old man takes the bag off of his shoul...

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3 men are ship-wrecked on an island

Where they are captured by cannibals. The cannibal leader says he'll let them live if they go out in the forest and grab 10 of the same fruit.

They all run off, when after a while the first person comes back with 10 apples. The cannibal leader then says, "You must shove them up your ass witho...

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3 British soldiers were on a safari trip and got captured by a tribe deep in the jungle.

Once they were brought before the tribe leader, he told them:

“I will give you a chance to leave this jungle alive. You each must find 5 of the same fruit in this place and bring it before me to earn your freedom.”

The soldiers thought this was an amazing deal and all went on their way...

Someone important came to my house. I tried to make him a pizza with pineapples out of spite, but I burned it.

I should have put it on aloha temperature.

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Three men get lost in the woods...

As they search for a path out together they accidentally stumble into the part of the woods ruled by fairies. The fairy King is not impressed with intruders and orders them executed. They beg for their lives and the King decides they shall complete a two part challenge to be shown the way out.
<...

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3 Men end up marooned on an island

On the island they find a tribe of cannibals. They say they will let the men live if they complete a task. What they must do is go out into the forest and collect 10 of a type of fruit. The first man comes back with 10 apples. They tell the man he must shove all 10 apples up his butt without making ...

I've come here to make non sequiturs and kick ass,

and I'm all out of pineapples.

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Three men are stranded on an island full of cannibals.

They are each told to go into the forest and bring back ten of any fruit.

The first man returns carrying kiwis and is told that if he can fit all of them into his ass without making a sound, he will be allowed to live. He manages to get four in, but on the fifth, he gasps and is taken off to ...

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Heard it?

A horse, Dave and his boss, the Pope, a cab driver, a drunk and his wife, a ventriloquist and a Welshman, two kids and their mother, three captives, a teacher and little Johnny, and a preacher and little Sally walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

Th...

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Three men are confronted by the grim reaper [NSFW]

The grim reaper says to the three men, "I will spare your lives if you can each collect 12 pieces of fruit for me." All three men go their separate ways, and a few minutes later guy 1 comes back with 12 oranges.


The grim reaper says "before I can spare your life, you must complete one fin...

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3 men in a shipwreck drift upon an island

Upon searching the island, they find it's inhabited by cannibals. The king of the cannibals says, "go out and bring us 10 pieces of fruit or we will eat you". So each of the men goes looking for 10 pieces of fruit. The first one comes back with 10 apples. The king of the cannibals says "now shove th...

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Lost in Jungle

Three men who were lost in the jungle were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial.
The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits....

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3 men get stranded on a desert island

After wandering around a while, they are found by some tribesmen. The natives take them back to their hut. The chief tells them, "Go out into the jungle and collect 10 pieces of fruit."

The first guy returns with 10 apples, and the chief says "Now shove them all up your ass without showing an...

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A Mexican, a Spaniard and an American are all travelling in a plane

When suddenly, the plane crashed onto a small island. The three emerged from the crash remains and noticed they're the only survivors.

They quickly organized and started gathering materials to survive when suddenly, a group of native cannibals surrounded them with spears and took them to the...

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3 men are walking through the jungle when they get taken by cannibals

They beg for their lives are given the chance of freedom - they have to go out into the jungle and collect 10 pieces of the same fruit.

So off they go and not long after the 1st man returns with 10 apples. This is when he is told about the 2nd part of the deal

"You must insert all of t...

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Three men are stranded on a remote island and get captured by cannibals

The chief tells the three men, "Tonight, you will be killed. However, you have one chance to save yourselves. Go now into the woods and gather ten of whatever fruit you find, then bring it back here." The three men go off into the woods. The first man returns some time later with 10 apples. The chie...

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are stranded on an island.

The natives capture them and tell them if they can stick 10 fruits up their butts they can live. The brunette gets 10 peaches and goes first. She laughs after 3 and is killed. The redhead is up next is shows up with cherries. She gets through 8 then laughs and is also killed. In heaven the redhead a...

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Three men get lost in a forest and kidnapped by a cannibal tribe...

The chief tells them that since they don't seem to mean any harm, they must pass a test and if they do, he'll let them go free, he'll even point them in the direction of civilization. But if they cannot complete the test, they will be killed and served for dinner. First, he sends each of the men in ...

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One of my favorites

So three men crash land on an island in the middle of the ocean. They are soon captured by a tribe of cannibals. The leader tells each man to go find ten of a fruit and come back to the village. Each man, not wanting to be eaten, goes and gets the fruit.

The first man comes back with kiwis. T...

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Don't make a sound...

3 men were exploring some deep jungles when they came across a cannibal tribe. The 3 men were taken to the cannibal chief. After some begging and pleading by the 3 men, the cannibal chief decides to show some mercy. He says "You 3 men go out into the jungle. You come back with 10pcs of fruit each. T...

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A farmers daughter wants to have a sleepover with three of her guy friends(NSFW)

The farmer agrees but when the friends get there he sits them down and tells them "ok I'll let you sleep at my house, but if you sleep with my daughter I will kill you" And he leaves them for the night.

The following morning he wakes up early to tend to his crops and finds them already awake...

Three anthropologists get captured by a tribe of cannibals...

The chieftain proclaims to them: "You shall head out into the jungle, and each bring me a dozen pieces of any one fruit, or else we will eat you!"

The three head out. After an hour, the first one returns, carrying 12 Bananas. The chief looks at them with pleasure and says: "And now I want you...

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