The local ice cream man was just found dead, covered in sprinkles, raspberry sauce and chopped nuts

Turns out he topped himself

Why does Steven Tyler always put raspberry vinaigrette on his salad?

It's a sweet emulsion

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A dumb kid walks into an ice cream shop...

Kid: “I’ll have a scoop of vanilla and a scoop of chocolate please.”

Clerk: “Sorry kid, we're out of chocolate.”

Kid: “OK. Make it a scoop of strawberry and a scoop of chocolate.”

Clerk: “No, no, you don't understand, it’s *chocolate* we're out of,”

Kid: “Ah, OK. Then gim...

What do you call a Russian raspberry?

Rasputin

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God creating critters

Angel: *Hey God, you gotta minute?*

God: *What's Zzzupp bobby, my compadre!*

Angel: *Its Jose, but whatever, can we go over your most recent animal submission*

God: *Yeah, but hurry, Fox 911 is about to come on*

Angel: *Ummm ok, 8 legs, mysterious, can be poisonous, eats ...

People are worrying about Huawei stealing personal info but it's the Western technologies (Apple, Blackberry, Raisin, Raspberry pi) that we should be concerned about.

They're much more likely to be inciders.

What do you call a Russian raspberry dipped in lighter fluid?

Rasp-butane

what did the robot order at the take away place?

computer chips with a dessert of raspberry pi

A knock knock joke my 7yr old came up with...

My daughter: "Knock Knock.."

Me: 'Who's There?"

My daughter: "A person who desperately needs a poo"

Me: "A person who..."

** (At this point she interupts me)**

My Daughter: blows a raspberry

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What do you get if you cross a blueberry with a raspberry?

A blue\-ass berry, motherfucka!

How do you get pregnant from a computer?

You get Raspberry cream m pi-d

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A kid hears a word on a playground...

And doesn't know what it means. He goes up to his teacher and says "Miss, I heard this word but I'm not sure what it means."

"Well, what was the word?" She asks.

"Raspberry."

The teacher is shocked that the student would say such a thing. "That kind of language is not acceptable...

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The children began to identify the colours by their colour:

Red -> Raspberry
Yellow -> Lemon
Green -> Lime
Orange -> Orange

Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY flavoured candy. None of them could identify the taste.

The teacher said: ‘I will give you all a clue. It’s what your mother may call your father’

One l...

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Little green man

An Irishman walks into a bar and asks for two beers. He then pulls a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him on the counter. As he's drinking one drink and the green man
is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had a few too many drinks says,

"Hey, what's ...

Did you hear Ben and Jerry's are naming a flavor in honor of Jerry Sandusky?

They are calling it Raspberry Turnover

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