Where does cantaloupe go for summer vacation?

John Cougar's Melon Camp.

I studied the cantaloupe joke

I’ve done it! I studied the origin of the cantaloupe joke. Then I then fact checked it into the night, and oh my God, it works on every level! I now present to you, the cantaloupe joke, and why it works.

Why must a melon get married in a church and nowhere else?


Because, due to i...

My mom gave me a cantaloupe

So I stayed home with my girlfriend

My dog hit a cantaloupe and appears unhappy

He seems kind of melon-collie

What do you call a sad cantaloupe?

Meloncholy

What kind of fruit is scared to go to it’s wedding?

Cantaloupe.

Did you hear about the two melons in love?

They want to run away together but unfortunately they cantaloupe.

My dog got a cantaloupe stuck on his head

Ever since then he's been a little melon collie.

Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?

It wanted to become a watermelon

My new sheepdog pup just swallowed a whole cantaloupe in one!

Since then he's a little melancholy.

Why do melons have to have weddings?

Because they cantaloupe!

How did the blind farmer react when his dog got loose in his cantaloupe patch?

He felt a bit melancholy.

My neighbor has a 15 acre farm, he breeds dogs to do work on them. He grows cantaloupe, and come harvest time the dogs sniff out the ripe ones and bring them back to the barn.

He says the breed are Melon Collies

What do you call a sad cantaloupe in a telephone booth?

Melon call ya

You know why you cant marry a melon?

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They cantaloupe ;)

Two melons are in love...

After decades of conflict and war, the people of Watermelon Kingdom and Cataloupe Country are trying to ease diplomatic tensions between their peoples. A student exchange program is started to foster cross-cultural understanding.

Through the exchange program, Wally Watermelon meets Cassandra...

What did the watermelon say to the honeydew when it proposed?

Sorry, I cantaloupe

What do you call a cantaloupe with clinical depression?

Melon-choly

Why did the watermelons ask for permission to get married?

Because they cantaloupe.

Why couldn't the boy run away with the farmer's daughter?

They were cantaloupe farmers.

A watermelon proposes to a honeydew melon

A watermelon proposes to a honeydew melon and says

“honey, I love you and I just can’t wait to get married. Let’s just run off to the farmers market and get it done.”

And the melon says, “baby I love you too, but I just cantaloupe”

What did the watermelon say when the honeydew asked it to run away to Vegas and get married?

Sorry I cantaloupe



I made this up eating a green watermelon

A couple makes an elaborate plan

A couple makes an elaborate plan on how they are going to run away to get married. But on the the day of the marriage the courts are closed and it turns out that they cantaloupe

I'm not sure how to feel about this...

but I was sold a herding dog for my cantaloupe patch. He's a little melon-collie.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A 40 years old man goes to a circus show

He went there to remind himself of his most precious childhood memories, but mostly because the flyers advertised a pretty peculiar act.

The clowns, the animals, the magicians, all did their part but by the end of the show enters a little old man in his seventies, wearing a bathrobe. The old ...

What did the lovebirds eat in quarantine when their plans for Las Vegas were canceled?

Cantaloupe.

A crying women walks up to man selling fruit on the street,

Man: Hey what’s wrong?

Women: My boyfriend and I tried to run away and get married but we were caught by my parents. My parents wanted a big formal but we don’t want to do that.

Man: Oh I’m so sorry, can I offer you some fruit on the house?

Women: Oh thank you, I would love some...

Two watermelons fall in love and want to get married.

Alas, weddings of that variety haven't been legalised yet meaning they cantaloupe

Only in math problems

can you buy 60 cantaloupes and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you

[dad joke incoming] Why were the teenage melons sad?

Because they cantaloupe.

One melon asks another melon to marry it. The other melon said-

"Sorry I cantaloupe."

Why do melons hate modern laws?

Because they cantaloupe.

Two melons are sitting in a field and the first one turns to the second and says

"We've been together all this time we should run away and get married."

The second melon replies, "We cantaloupe, we're melons!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The apple of your dreams.

One day Eddie walked into the patent office. He boldly stated to the patent officer, Bob, that he’d like to patent the apple. Bob, a studious man who looked like he spent a lifetime burying his face in books, dryly pointed out “You can’t patent the apple, Johnny Appleseed already did that.”
“We...

There are three melon farmers with different marital statuses.

One has a wife and farms honeydew.


The second has a husband and sells watermelon.


The third cantaloupe.

Humans can elope

Fruits cantaloupe.

What did the melon say to his daughter when he caught her running off with her boyfriend?

You’re too young, you cantaloupe!

My girlfriend of six years is a melon. She broke my heart when I proposed to her today.

She said, “I just cantaloupe with you.”

Knock knock...

Who's there?

Cantaloupe.

Cantaloupe who?

Cantaloupe unless your honeydew too.

An antelope and a lion are star crossed lovers

One day, the antelope decides they should take it to the next level

Antelope: let's run away and get married, Lion!

Lion: I cantaloupe

What tragic fruit resembles Romeo and Juliet?

Cantaloupe

Why did the Honeydew princess stay and marry Duke Watermelon instead of running off with her true love?

She cantaloupe

I tried marrying a melon...

But apparently we cantaloupe

Two muskmelons fell deeply in love. One day, the first muskmelon asked, "Honeydew, will you make me the happiest melon in the world and run away with me and get married?" The second muskmelon replied, "I love you and I will marry you, but...

... we cantaloupe."

Two Melons Fall In Love

The guy says, “I love you so much, my sweet little honey dew. I don’t want to wait. Let’s run away to Vegas together.”

The girl replies, “No, baby. I cantaloupe.”

What kind of fruit do you serve to the couple whose families force them to have a big wedding?

Cantaloupe.

Why were the melons upset when they were denied a marriage license?

Because it means they *cantaloupe*

Mr. Pineapple and his Honey Melon are berry in love..

"Sweety, we are ripe for a wedding! Let's invite olive our fruity friends!"

"Are you sure we cantaloupe?"

Two melons are sitting in a field, talking about how much they love each other...

The first melon talks about how it wants a great big wedding, and how all their fruit and vegetable friends will be there to celebrate. The other melon wants them to run away together and have a 4-H judge do a quick ceremony. They argue passionately back and forth, when exasperated the second melon ...

The daughter of a melon farmer and a travelling musician met one day and fell in love at first sight

The woman’s name was Angie, a beautiful, red-haired woman with a smile so magnetic and radiant one couldn’t help but fall head-over-heels; the musician’s name was Zachary, a strapping, young lad with flowing, blonde hair and broad shoulders, just wide enough to give him a powerful physique yet not i...

What plant bears fruit & is afraid of lifelong commitment?

Cantaloupe

What Fruit Has The Hardest Time Finding Love?

Cantaloupe

The Melon mogul's daughter

There once was a rich melon mogul, who had dominated the melon industry for years. There was one small sector he couldn't get a foothold in, though. So he sent his only daughter there to see if she could turn it around. She was young, beautiful and knew how to run a melon operation. When she arrive ...

Why couldn't the orange marry his apple girlfriend?

Because her father said she cantaloupe.

A melon and a banana fall in love...

After dating for many years, the banana goes to the melon's father to ask for her hand in marriage. Papa Melon, who never really liked the banana and hoped he was just one of his daughter's phases, says he cannot give them his blessing. Heartbroken, the banana runs back to his girlfriend, begging wi...

I wanted to marry a melon

but I cantaloupe.



2nd attempt because marry not merry

whats the best fruit to eat when your wedding falls through?

cantaloupe.

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