If life gives you melons...

You have dyslexia.

Why were’t the melons able to get married?

Because they cantaloupe

Do you know the reasons why most melons live alone?

Because they can't elope

Why should you never marry a melon?

Because they cantaloupe

Two melons are madly in love

But they are completely broke, so they can't elope.

Two melons meet at the market and fall in love. One says to the other, "Let's run away together and get married!" The other replies:

"I cantaloupe, but honeydew I want to!"

My wife's most recent obsession is growing melons, and she makes me help her in the garden.

It's always "honey do this" and "honey do that"

What did the melon say to the lemon’s marriage proposal?

I cantaloupe

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Dad, why is my sister called Melons?"

"This is because your mother has big breasts."

"Thanks, dad."

"No problem, Shorty."

Why didn’t melon run away to get married?

Because It cantaloupe.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do melons have to reproduce asexually?

Because they cantelope

What's the difference between a handsome man and Ross from friends searching for a melon?

One's a good looking fella and the other's a food looking Geller

My girlfriend of six years is a melon. She broke my heart when I proposed to her today.

She said, “I just cantaloupe with you.”

Two muskmelons fell deeply in love. One day, the first muskmelon asked, "Honeydew, will you make me the happiest melon in the world and run away with me and get married?" The second muskmelon replied, "I love you and I will marry you, but...

... we cantaloupe."

Two melons were in the supermarket

When one exclaimed to the other “Let’s run away from this place and get married!!”

The other one replied “Honey I do want to, but you know I can’t elope”

What do you call a group of sad melons?

A melon-colony.

Mr. Pineapple and his Honey Melon are berry in love..

"Sweety, we are ripe for a wedding! Let's invite olive our fruity friends!"

"Are you sure we cantaloupe?"

What did the one engaged melon say to her groom melon?

Sorry we canteloupe.

Did you hear about the two melons who are being pressured by their parents into having a traditional wedding?

They cantaloupe

The daughter of a melon farmer and a travelling musician met one day and fell in love at first sight

The woman’s name was Angie, a beautiful, red-haired woman with a smile so magnetic and radiant one couldn’t help but fall head-over-heels; the musician’s name was Zachary, a strapping, young lad with flowing, blonde hair and broad shoulders, just wide enough to give him a powerful physique yet not i...

Water melon and flies

There's a little girl who rides her bike up and down her street every day. *mind you it's the deep south and mid-summer* and she's see's the same middle aged overweight woman eating watermelon on her front porch in her moo-moo and the woman just so happens to not be wearing underwear. Any of these d...

Two Melons Fall In Love

The guy says, “I love you so much, my sweet little honey dew. I don’t want to wait. Let’s run away to Vegas together.”

The girl replies, “No, baby. I cantaloupe.”

A farmer kept getting water melons stolen, so one day he puts a sign up that says 'one of these watermelons is poisoned' next day he gets up and goes out to work in his watermelon patch and sees another sign

'now there are two'

What's the saddest part about the relationship between a melon farmer and the girl who is allergic to melons?

They cant-elope!

Why must melon families always consent to a marriage?

Because they cantaloupe!

A melon and a banana fall in love...

After dating for many years, the banana goes to the melon's father to ask for her hand in marriage. Papa Melon, who never really liked the banana and hoped he was just one of his daughter's phases, says he cannot give them his blessing. Heartbroken, the banana runs back to his girlfriend, begging wi...

Two melons are sitting in a field, talking about how much they love each other...

The first melon talks about how it wants a great big wedding, and how all their fruit and vegetable friends will be there to celebrate. The other melon wants them to run away together and have a 4-H judge do a quick ceremony. They argue passionately back and forth, when exasperated the second melon ...

I tried marrying a melon...

But apparently we cantaloupe

What is a wedding planner's favourite melon?

Cantaloupe

What do you get when you mix a broccoli and a melon?

The saddest vegetable known to man: A Melonccoli.

I wanted to marry a melon

but I cantaloupe.



2nd attempt because marry not merry

Why do melons hold the traditional ceremony of marriage in such high regard?

Because they can't elope.

Why do melons always ask their parents before getting married?

Because they canteloupe.

What do you call a Mexican melon?

A cantelopez!


Came up with this on all by myself. I'm a new Dad, so I feel as if I've significantly leveled up my Dad Joke ability.

Why were the melons upset when they were denied a marriage license?

Because it means they *cantaloupe*

A melon went to ask his girlfriends parents if he could marry her

The mother replied, "sure but you cant elope"

Why did the melon leave her boyfriend?

He said he can't elope.

Why were the 2 in love melons upset?

Because they cantaloupe.

(The wife thought of this one... hopefully nobody else has posted it)

Why did the couple bring a melon to their honeymoon?

Because they cantaloupe...

What did the one melon say to the other melon?

We're too young to marry. We cantaloupe.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know they make melons with Viagra in?

They're for people who cantaloupe.

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