Why can't melons get married?

They cantaloupe ^sorry ^I'll ^leave

If life gives you melons…..

You’re probably dyslexic.

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Two Americans and a German gynecologist were having a drink...

After a few they start sharing stories from their professions. Since all 3 were gynecologists it soon became a brag-fest.

American 1: "I once had a patient who had a clitoris like a blueberry!"

American 2: "that's nothing, my last patient had one like a cherry!"

German: "I would...

Did you hear about the two melons who couldn’t get married?

They can’t elope

Did you hear about the two melons in love?

They want to run away together but unfortunately they cantaloupe.

What did the melon say when his lawn looked dry.

Guess it's time to watermalawn.

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NSFW - Sad and lonely fruit

What is the feeling people get when they are missing their significant other's boobs?

Melon-choly.

Did you know that cultures with arranged marriages typically serve melon at the wedding feast?

Yep. It symbolizes the fact that they cantelope.

What did the melon say when her boyfriend proposed?

Yes, but we cantaloupe.

You know why you cant marry a melon?

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They cantaloupe ;)

Two melons are in love...

After decades of conflict and war, the people of Watermelon Kingdom and Cataloupe Country are trying to ease diplomatic tensions between their peoples. A student exchange program is started to foster cross-cultural understanding.

Through the exchange program, Wally Watermelon meets Cassandra...

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My doctor gave me 6 months, so I shot him.

## The judge gave me 60 years!


 

 

 


### My (other) favorite one liners:

1. I’ve had amnesia for as long as I can remember.

1. What do you call a cheap circumcision? A ripoff.

1. French tanks have five rever...

A watermelon proposes to a honeydew melon

A watermelon proposes to a honeydew melon and says

“honey, I love you and I just can’t wait to get married. Let’s just run off to the farmers market and get it done.”

And the melon says, “baby I love you too, but I just cantaloupe”

A man got worms in his stomach

He went to all the doctors available but non could give him the proper treatment so he decided to go to some wise old man , the man told him " simple , go and buy the sweetest watermelon you can buy , cut it in half and sit on it , Naked . So the leader of the worms would go down to taste the waterm...

Two Melons ran away to Mexico to get Married

The first asked the second, "Honey, do you really think we should do this?"

The second replied, "You're right, we can't elope."

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**NSFW** A 20 year old joke

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hangi...

[dad joke incoming] Why were the teenage melons sad?

Because they cantaloupe.

What did the Melon say to his son about running off with his girlfriend?

Son, You can't elope

The orange asked the melon: "Hey, want to get married?"

The melon said: "Sorry, I canteloupe"

I studied the cantaloupe joke

I’ve done it! I studied the origin of the cantaloupe joke. Then I then fact checked it into the night, and oh my God, it works on every level! I now present to you, the cantaloupe joke, and why it works.

Why must a melon get married in a church and nowhere else?


Because, due to i...

Why did the melon go to jail?

Because it committed a melony.

Why couldn’t the melon get married without permission?

He cantaloupe.

Where do melons go for summer fun?

John Cougar Mellencamp

A Daughter Melon and a Daddy Melon Are Having a Heart To Heart...

The daughter melon says "But daddy I love him! We're getting married!"

The daddy melon replies "Alright fine. But you can't elope!"

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Woman: "Hey honey, I went to the gynecologist and he said my vagina is like a melon..."

Man: "Is it that big?"

Woman: "No, I think is kinda sweet."

One melon asks another melon to marry it. The other melon said-

"Sorry I cantaloupe."

Two melons: A Love Story

One day two melons were laying next to each other in the sunny field. The same thing is also going on in an alternate universe. Tom Melon looks over and sees the most beautiful melon he’s ever laid his melon eyes upon. “I have to get over there and say something to her” he thinks to himself. So he r...

Why is the quarantined melon couple sad?

Because they cantaloupe :(

There are three melon farmers with different marital statuses.

One has a wife and farms honeydew.


The second has a husband and sells watermelon.


The third cantaloupe.

Two melons are sitting in a field and the first one turns to the second and says

"We've been together all this time we should run away and get married."

The second melon replies, "We cantaloupe, we're melons!"

What do you get when you mix a broccoli and a melon?

The saddest vegetable known to man: a melonccoli.

Why do melons hate modern laws?

Because they cantaloupe.

What did the melon say to his daughter when he caught her running off with her boyfriend?

You’re too young, you cantaloupe!

Where does cantaloupe go for summer vacation?

John Cougar's Melon Camp.

Do you know the reasons why most melons live alone?

Because they can't elope

Two melons are madly in love

But they are completely broke, so they can't elope.

My wife's most recent obsession is growing melons, and she makes me help her in the garden.

It's always "honey do this" and "honey do that"

My girlfriend of six years is a melon. She broke my heart when I proposed to her today.

She said, “I just cantaloupe with you.”

I tried marrying a melon...

But apparently we cantaloupe

The daughter of a melon farmer and a travelling musician met one day and fell in love at first sight

The woman’s name was Angie, a beautiful, red-haired woman with a smile so magnetic and radiant one couldn’t help but fall head-over-heels; the musician’s name was Zachary, a strapping, young lad with flowing, blonde hair and broad shoulders, just wide enough to give him a powerful physique yet not i...

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"Dad, why is my sister called Melons?"

"This is because your mother has big breasts."

"Thanks, dad."

"No problem, Shorty."

Why were the melons upset when they were denied a marriage license?

Because it means they *cantaloupe*

Two melons were in the supermarket

When one exclaimed to the other “Let’s run away from this place and get married!!”

The other one replied “Honey I do want to, but you know I can’t elope”

What's the difference between a handsome man and Ross from friends searching for a melon?

One's a good looking fella and the other's a food looking Geller

Mr. Pineapple and his Honey Melon are berry in love..

"Sweety, we are ripe for a wedding! Let's invite olive our fruity friends!"

"Are you sure we cantaloupe?"

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