What do you call it when you're forced to choose between cherries and herilooms?

An ul'tomato'm

3 sailors crash their boat while sailing close to the shore of an unexplored island.

After moving inland, they are captured by members of an indigenous tribe. The tribesmen take the sailors to their chief. The chief, in very broken English, speaks to them,

"You trespass here, now I have test for you. Go deep into forest. Pick for me 3 fruits, and return to me. The test begins...

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Pop my Cherry

A man was driving down a remote road when his car broke down. There was no cell service so he walked to the nearest farm. He was approached by a farmer.

“How can I help you?” asked the farmer.

“Can I use a phone, my car broke down?”

“All the phones are down, I can drive you i...

I grew up in a pretty tough neighborhood. Kids use to cover me in chocolate and frosting and put cherries on my head.

Life was tough in the gateau.

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How do you hide an Elephant in the jungle?

Paint his balls red and hide him in the top of a cherry tree.

Whats the loudest noise in the jungle?

A giraffe eating cherries.

Never get your cherries out in public.

They’re indehiscent.

Went shopping for cherries and microphones...

bought a bing, bought a boom.

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I bought some cherry lube the other day but I didn't end up using it.

Turns out cherries are already pretty easy to shove up your arsehole as they are.

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TIL about Kopi Luwak, an expensive coffee made from partially digested coffee cherries defecated by the Asian palm civet.

Imagine the barista's face when you go to the coffee shop then ask for a crappuccino.

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Texas Patrol...

Two red necks are speeding through Texas. They fly by a Texas patrol officer who hits the cherries and pulls them over.
The cop approaches the driver who rolls down his window and drawls a defiant- "Whaaat?"
Without saying a word, the officer puts out his baton and whacks the guy in the face...

Which do Catholic priests like better—apples or cherries?

Neither—they prefer boysenberries.

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A plane went down over the ocean, and three of the survivors end up stranded on a remote tropical island.

They don't get very far before a tribe of cannibals capture them and bring them back to their village as prisoners. One of the men says "Please don't eat us! We'll do anything!". The cannibal's chief decides to have a bit of fun with them and says "Oh? Well then, go into the forest and come back wit...

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A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.

As soon as he steps in, the monkey jumps off his shoulder and begins exploring the bar.

The monkey grabs a handful of beer nuts and scarfs them down. Then he grabs a fish from the large fish tank and eats it. Lastly, he grabs the cue ball from the pool table and swallows it whole.

Me...

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A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception.

She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, "Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these."

The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped.

I'll give you a hint,...

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John and Tom are captured by an indigenous African tribe

They are brought to the chief who says: "If you not want dead, you bring me 100 fruits”

The two prisoners then go to the jungle in order to collect the fruits.

John soon finishes and brings a 100 cherries.
“Shove them in you ass without making sound.”, the chief ordered.

John...

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Three guys are attempting to steal fruit from a farmers huge orchard

The farmer catches them and, holding them at gunpoint, makes a deal. They’re to go out and find three of any fruit and bring it back to him.

The first guy gets back with three apples and the farmer tells him “if you can shove all three up your ass I’ll give you all the food you can eat, but ...