Went shopping for cherries and a microphone the other day.

Bought a bing. Bought a boom.

My dad says that eating cherries can actually boost your testosterone!

He said to me, “*Son*, to truly become a man, all you have to do is pop a few cherries.”

I never knew it could be so easy! I’ve been popping a few cherries with each meal. I haven’t noticed any changes yet... but I’m sure they’ll come!

^OC

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Did you know elephants paint their balls red to blend in with cherry trees? What’s the loudest noise in the jungle..?

A giraffe eating cherries

What do you call it when you're forced to choose between cherries and herilooms?

An ul'tomato'm

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Pop my Cherry

A man was driving down a remote road when his car broke down. There was no cell service so he walked to the nearest farm. He was approached by a farmer.

“How can I help you?” asked the farmer.

“Can I use a phone, my car broke down?”

“All the phones are down, I can drive you i...

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A man walks into the bar with a monkey on his shoulder

He sits at the bar and orders a beer. As the bartender is pouring his beer the monkey jumps off his shoulder and proceeds to eat everything in sight.

He eats all the bowls of mixed nuts, eats all the popcorn, jumps over the bar and eats all the marschianno cherries and all the green olives. ...

I went to a local farmers market...

I asked the fruit vender to show me his cherries.

He did

"Thanks," I said, "But that's not what I meant."

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One day 3 people were stuck on an island with cannibals.

The cannibals said, "If you do what we say, we wont kill you." So the cannibals said, "Go into the forest and pick 10 fruits of the first fruit you see. "

So the first person came back out of the forest with 10 apples. The cannibals said, "Put the apples up your ass without making a facial ex...

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A farmers daughter wants to have a sleepover with three of her guy friends(NSFW)

The farmer agrees but when the friends get there he sits them down and tells them "ok I'll let you sleep at my house, but if you sleep with my daughter I will kill you" And he leaves them for the night.

The following morning he wakes up early to tend to his crops and finds them already awake...

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The little Cowboy

A little boy walks into an ice-cream store wearing a cowboy hat and a pair of six shooters.The woman behind the counter can't help smiling at the tough expression on his chubby little face.

“Hello there,cowboy," she says “What can I get for you?"

The kid bellies up to the counter.
...

A squirrel was sitting on the branch of a tree when suddenly it began shaking violently.

Looking down he saw an elephant climbing up the tree.

"What the hell are you doing," cried the squirrel.

"I want to eat some cherries."

"But this is an oak tree. There aren't any cherries here."

"It's okay," said the elephant. "I brought my own."

I grew up in a pretty tough neighborhood. Kids use to cover me in chocolate and frosting and put cherries on my head.

Life was tough in the gateau.

Never get your cherries out in public.

They’re indehiscent.

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Three men wash up on an island, they find the natives, and the Chief says “Each of you go into the forest and collect 10 fruits of one kind.”

That all go rushing in to the jungle to get the fruit. The first one comes back with 10 apples. The Chief tells him to shove all 10 apples up his ass without showing any emotion at all, if he did so he would live if not he would be killed. The man got to the third when he screeched in pain, and all ...

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Pineapple

3 men are stranded on an island and after an hour of walking they come across a large tribe. The leader approaches them and they say this.

“ Hello sir. Me and my friends have been shipwrecked here and need some help”

The tribe leader replied

“ we will allow you to stay with if ...

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3 boys and a farmer

3 boys are on a long journey and need a place to sleep for the night

They come across an old farm and ask the farmer to help them on their journey and let them sleep there.

The farmer agrees but says this “You may sleep at my house but if you sleep with my daughter the there will be s...

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I bought some cherry lube the other day but I didn't end up using it.

Turns out cherries are already pretty easy to shove up your arsehole as they are.

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TIL about Kopi Luwak, an expensive coffee made from partially digested coffee cherries defecated by the Asian palm civet.

Imagine the barista's face when you go to the coffee shop then ask for a crappuccino.

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3 Men Get Stranded On An Island...

3 men get stranded on a desert island. After wandering around a while, they are found by some tribesmen. The natives take them back to their hut. The chief tells them, "Go out into the jungle and collect 10 pieces of fruit."
The first guy returns with 10 apples, and the chief says "Now shove them...

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A plane went down over the ocean, and three of the survivors end up stranded on a remote tropical island.

They don't get very far before a tribe of cannibals capture them and bring them back to their village as prisoners. One of the men says "Please don't eat us! We'll do anything!". The cannibal's chief decides to have a bit of fun with them and says "Oh? Well then, go into the forest and come back wit...

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A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.

As soon as he steps in, the monkey jumps off his shoulder and begins exploring the bar.

The monkey grabs a handful of beer nuts and scarfs them down. Then he grabs a fish from the large fish tank and eats it. Lastly, he grabs the cue ball from the pool table and swallows it whole.

Me...

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