Chuck Norris was dropped twice as a baby.

Once in Hiroshima and once in Nagasaki...

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A fucking Chuck Norris joke I made when I was 7

What happens when Chuck Norris kicks the bucket?

He breaks a couple floors

Do you know where Chuck Norris stands on White Nationalists?

On their necks.

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Chuck Norris once visited Virginia

Now it's called just "ia"

Why did Chuck Norris cross the Road?

Well, the road wasn’t going to cross Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once performed a table flip.

Ever since Atlantis is considered a myth.

Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people

Then the grenade exploded

Chuck Norris tested positive for coronavirus

The virus is now on a ventilator.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,

he turns the dark off.

Chuck Norris has been confirmed to be exposed to COVID-19

Virus has been quarantined for 14 days

Chuck Norris caught COVID.

But then he felt bad, so he let it go.

Chuck Norris Joke

A priest, Jesus and Chuck Norris are on a sinking boat. Jesus starts to walk back to land. Chuck Norris does the same. The priest says "Lord, please let me walk on water", tries to walk but drowns. When Jesus and Chuck Norris got on land Jesus asked him "Shouldn't we have told him where the stones a...

One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke.

That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

So, This is a very famous joke from my country ,I hope to see the response

A conference for who the best actor in the world was held, Actors from all around the world came to take part in the competition.There were many qualifier rounds but then only 5 actors remained in the finals.

The final contest was decided to be a manual cow milking competition. The rules were...

Chuck Norris doesn’t shower,

he only takes blood baths.

Chuck Norris has a bear rug

No it's not dead it's just too scared to move

Chuck Norris can only have Chuck Norris as babies.

Because all of his genes are dominant.

Earlier today I was wondering if it was possible to abort Chuck Norris..

..then I realized he was aborted.

Chuck Norris wears a mask not because he has to protect himself from Corona Virus.

He wears it so Corona Virus can protect itself from him.

How does Chuck Norris sharpen his blades?

By shaving with them.

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Why doesn't Chuck Norris wear a coronavirus mask in public?

He does.
Because Chuck Norris isn't an asshole.

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are reading a script at lunch...

It's for Stallone's new movie *The Composers*, about the descendants of famous European composers joining forces to fight terrorism. Stallone says he'll play Beethoven, "My theme will be ode to joy. But get this: Joy is the name of my shotgun."

"Nice," says Norris. "I'll be Mozart, and I'...

Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, he chews bees

Chuck Norris will be 80 in a few hours so post your best Chuck Norris Jokes in the comments!

What's the one office supply you never want to ask Chuck Norris to give you?

The Three-Hole Punch...

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Chuck Norris doesn't hoard toilet paper.

He's used the same napkin since 1974.
He just scares the shit out of it.

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sitting in a bar

Sylvester Stallone says, "Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."

Chuck says, "Guys, I'm bored of doing action movies too and I've got some ideas but you may not like them."

Sylveste...

Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today...

And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.

 
 
 
 

Superman and Chuck Norris once agreed to a fight.

The loser had to wear their underwear on the outside of their pants for the rest of their life

I know what happened before the Big Bang...

Chuck Norris ate a can of beans

Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house

Cold and wind don't dare to come in

This morning Chuck Norris was shot

Check the news, The bullet is in critical condition

Chuck Norris just put up a new sign outside his house...

It says 'Welcome, Spanish Inquisition!'

Chuck Norris’ tears can cure you of the coronavirus.

Too bad he doesn’t cry.

Chuck Norris has a gun for breakfast...

...at ate a glock every morning.

Chuck Norris doesn't just get the coronavirus

He also gets the same misleading information from this administration as the rest of us.

When Chuck Norris moved out

his dad became the man of the house.

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are discussing what to dress up as for the 80's Action Hero Costume Ball.

"I know", says Stallone, "Lets all go as famous composers. "I'll be Beethoven".

"I'll go as Mozart", says Chuck.

Schwarzenegger gets up and walks swiftly to the door. At the last second, he looks back and says,

"I'll be Bach"

Chuck Norris has died aged 79

But Death is too scared to let him know.

What did Chuck Norris tell his father when he left for college?

“You’re the man of the house now”

Chuck Norris is a coward!

If that sucker was so brave as people say he would show up here right now and smash my head against my keybakwue hr<awjd <akreu<an<awlkuhnc<a kjdqw;eoim

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A guy asked me: Who is this Chuck Norris guy?

Well, in short: He build the house he was born in by his aunt because no one dared to screw his mom. In his youth he molested catholic priests after that he joined the army where He was a well known Kamikaze pilot for about 7 times. He made fire with a magnifying glass under water at night and coun...

Once Chuck Norris threw a knife in Call of Duty

And killed someone in Battlefield

Jesus Christ, Chuck Norris and an Irishman were on a boat

Jesus Christ, Chuck Norris and an Irishman were on a boat. They had to get to land, but had no oars.

Jesus starts walking across the water, and finally makes it safely to the other side.

Chuck joins Jesus, and walks safely across too.

The Irishman thought, if they can d...

So an English man, an American, an Asian, a blonde, Chuck Norris and Yo momma walk into a bar...

The barman asks...




Is this some kind of joke?

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When Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity,

he got it back!

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Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone and Chuck Norris are sitting in a boat boat...

Arnold puts his finger in the air and states: “7,3km/h windspeed from 33° north-east“.
Stallone sticks out his tongue and says: “Exactly 20,87°C“.
Chuck Norris opens his trousers and sticks his dick in the water and says: “Exactly 12,609m deep“.

Chuck Norris was bitten by the worlds most venemous snake.

After hours of excruciating pain and misery, the snake died.

Chuck Norris actually died 6 years ago.

...But the Grim Reaper still hasn't gotten up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris passed 6 kidney stones...

Thanos used them in his Infinity Gauntlet.

What do you get when you tickle Chuck Norris?

Chuckle Norris.

What happens when Chuck Norris lifts Thor Hammer?

Hammer explodes because it is not worthy.

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Why did Chuck Norris’ aunt give birth to him?

Because nobody dared fuck his mother

Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him

So he tracked down nothing and killed it

Did you know Chuck Norris was in every star wars movie?

He played the force.

How come there are so many Chuck Norris jokes but none about Clint Eastwood?

Clint Eastwood is no joke.

Chuck Norris isn't that tough...

If he was he'd come here and mash my face into my keyboarfnfjdjfhnjdfyxydbdhxhdhd

I don't believe Chuck Norris is that great

Cuz if he was, he would show up right now, and slam my head all over my keasdhjaiosdcnhq09w8hjkoldq0i9 wdhj09qw daU9 10Q9WDJ09W3Q21JD QWD

Chuck Norris once challenged Keanu Reeves to a fight.

Before Chuck could land a punch, Keanu put Chuck to sleep by treating him out to a nice dinner, a couple glasses of wine, and read him a bedtime story.

Some kids pee their name in the snow.

Chuck Norris can pee his name into concrete.

Chuck Norris fell into a black hole.

The black hole couldn't escape.

Have you heard that Chuck Norris has started building non-sqaure homes?

He's on a round house kick.

Naming a bridge after Chuck Norris is a really bad idea

Because no one crosses Chuck Norris.

Waldo once insulted chuck norris

And we all know how that's going

Chuck Norris posted on /r/jokes.

It was original content.

What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke?

My Favorite,
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris Facts!

-can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it.

-can make scissors beat rock.

-when he's looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough
to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

-can unscramble eggs.

-counted t...

Chuck Norris joke cause it's been a long time.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Jesus maybe walked on water

But Chuck Norris swims on the ground.

Some Chuck Norris Jokes

- Chuck Norris doesn't pet any animals. Animals pet themselves when he approaches them.

- Chuck Norris threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people. Then the grenade exploded.

- When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up.

- Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush...

Chuck Norris jokes

When Chuck Norris' code throws exceptions, it's across the room.

Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. And then the grenade exploded....

Chuck Norris got bitten by a King Cobra

And after 5 agonizing days of pain.

The cobra died

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Chuck Norris once made a visit to the Virgin Islands.

Now they're just called "The Islands."

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Chuck Norris gave a blowjob to a tornado once...

The tornado was blown away.

Chuck Norris once stared into the abyss...

It blinked.

Too dangerous

There *used* to be a street called "Chuck Norris".



They had to build a bridge, and finally rename the street. No one crossed Chuck Norris and lived.

When Chuck Norris gets old and has to use a walker

Will he name his walker, Texas ranger

I saw Chuck Norris today,

He’s alive and he’s still kicking.

Chuck Norris fell down from a 10 story building.

people start gathering around him, asking "what happened? what happened?"



Chuck: "idk, I just got here"

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