Does silicon make pretty crystals

Of quartz it does

A man goes into a Pharmacist and asks for some silicon dioxide

The Pharmacist says "we don't sell that".

He replies "But you have loads in the window"

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What do you call the space between 2 artificial breasts?

Silicone Valley......

I'll leave and close the door behind me

how do you neutralize silicone on the road?

dad: "well , you'll need some serious cones".

Did you hear about the newlywed couple that didnโ€™t know the difference between KY lube and silicone caulk?

Their windows fell out.

I walk into a Spanish woman's house

I'm walking around when I notice I'm quite thirsty I ask her "could i get a drink" she asks me "would you like a glass of water?" I reply with "silicon"

What do you call 3 friends in Silicon Valley?

A startup.

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It would be cheaper if they used oak instead of silicone in boob jobs..

Wooden tit?

What do you call a Dodge made out of silicon?

A Hemi-conductor!

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Silicon boobs are organic and 100% natural

Because Silicon is the most common element in the Earth's surface.

Did you hear silicon valley is seceding from the USA?

Theyre forming the USB

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Redneck sits next to the silicon valley kid on the overnight train ride

Redneck really wants to sleep, but silicone valley kid won't shut up, describing the wonders of technology.

\- Nowadays I can find an answer to any question, no matter how hard, you just need to know how to use tech!

Redneck really wants to sleep. But the kid keeps showing his gadgets,...

I heard about people using cedar instead of silicon for breast implants, but think about if it happened to you, it'd be super weird,

Wooden tit

A new men's cologne is in development which smells of electric eels shocking a Silicon Valley giant...

Its called Eel-on Musk.

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2 Congressmen, 2 rednecks, and 2 tech guys from Silicon Valley go to North Korea . . .

So these 2 Congressmen decided to make a goodwill trip to North Korea. To show the wide range of cultures in the U.S., they took a couple redneck guys from Mississippi and a couple of tech savvy guys from California. After a short tour, they were thrown in prison for not having proper credentials....

A redhead, brunette and a blonde walk into a bar.

They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about thier opinions on elements.

The redhead says,"I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it."

The brunette says,"I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can buy you more cars."

The blonde...

A Silicon Valley Bumper Sticker: My Other Car Is Autonomous...

...but I never drive it.

Foreigners

This is joke is based on a real-life incident as told to me by a colleague.

A Silicon Valley IT professional from India invites his parents to visit US of A and stay with his family. The apartment complex where the IT guy was staying was predominantly inhabited by Indian origin (desi). Durin...

Tommy will figure

Tommy's Mum: Tommy, you need to let your younger brother learn things on his own too.

Tommy: Sure Mom!

Johnny: (Tommy's younger brother) What's 89 times 2

Tommy: it's.... (Interrupted by Mum)

Tommy's Mum: Tommy Hilfiger it out

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How do you ask a Silicon Valley prostitute for a handjob?

Submit a pull request.

ELI5: If Silicon Valley seceded from the US

would they be considered a developing nation?

My blonde friend got breast implants

I used to call her " little Connie", now she's just "Silicone"

Sir Mixalot was wrong.

Silicon parts are made for non-stick cooking ware.

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What do you call the area between 2 fake tits?

silicon valley.

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What do you call the area between a California womanโ€™s boobs?

Silicone Valley

What's a robot's favourite Mexican food?

Silicon Carne.

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God gave the woman...

God gave the woman beautiful eyebrows
She didn't like this, so she removed them and drew her own



God gave the woman pretty nails
She disliked this, so she cut them and put artificial ones



God gave the woman a pretty face
She hated it, so she put makeup on...

a computer that knows everything

in Silicon Valley, there was an exhibition of a new generation Artificial Intelligence computer, which was supposed to know everything: a man and his son went to the exhibition.
"I will hide in the next room," said the man, "and you will ask the computer where am I."
So the man hides and t...

Most Precious Element

In school one day, the teacher decided that for science class she would teach about raw materials. She stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world, what would it be?"


Little Stevie raised his hand and said, "I would want gold, becau...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

If the space between a woman's natural breasts is called "cleavage,"...

Then the space between a woman's fake breasts must be the Silicone Valley?

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GEEKS NOT ALLOWED-ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK

This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers
stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the
door saying "GEEKS NOT ALLOWED-ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!"
He goes in and sits down.

The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says he smells kind of...

What do you call a prisoner in for stealing computer parts humorously?

A silicon

What's the stupidest element on the periodic table?

Silicon

A man calls an aquarium factory.

He says, "I understand that you manufacture custom fish tanks of all sizes?"

"That's right."

"Perfect. You see, my company manufactures silicon breast implants. We've found that our products last longer when stored in water. If we had some kind of very large glass storage containers, c...

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What do you call the cleavage of a person who had a boob job?

Silicone valley

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A dude tells his hippy girlfriend that her boobs are too small

A dude tells his hippy girlfriend that her boobs are too small. She agrees but says that she doesn't want breast implants because Silicone isn't a renewable resource. He suggests that she find a natural alternate. Weeks later she has a great idea and carves two boobs out of a tree from her back yard...

Three Monkeys

A man walks into a Silicon Valley pet store looking to buy a monkey. The store owner points towards three identical looking monkeys in politically-correct, animal-friendly natural mini-habitats.


'The one on the left costs $500,' says the store owner.


'Why so much?' asks the cus...

Our new Space Force is exploring mars

The new Space Force has finally arrived at mars, and an exploration ship has been investigating the snow and ice covered North Pole area.

A field biologist excitedly rushes in to his general, and exclaims, โ€œSir, incredible news! We have discovered a strange, silicon-based form of life in the...

Hear are sum morre punny science jokes

How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically.

Is Silicon the same in English as in Spanish? Si.

The last time I told a chemistry joke there was no reaction.

Chemistry puns Im in my element.

What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium

Ion-estly cant think of...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Shooting the moon

David, a young Silicon valley nerd billionaire suddenly become reclusive and started building a big cannon in his backyard. When asked what the cannon is for, he said he is going to shoot the moon resulting in his parents locking him up in a mental institution. and after 1 year, the shrink interview...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

We had our first child and he's beautiful, but he had a rare birth defect.

He was born without eyelids. We had to keep his eyes irrigated and shielded from light while they searched for a pediatric plastic surgeon who could correct it.

Fortunately one of the top surgeons in our region was available. When our attending physician explained the situation to him, he ask...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What do you call the gap between a pair of fake boobs?

Silicone Valley.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Three buddies from high school take a trip to Mexico...

Each of the men has spent their lives productively, and are each at the top of their respective fields, and they've kept in touch over the years. They decide that, to celebrate their twentieth high school graduation anniversary, they're going to go down to Mexico City together and generally live it ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What a hypocrite!

On the third date, the urologist and his date got into heavy kissing. The doctor took off the bra and was amazed by the perfect silicone tits.

His date took off the pants and placed the doctor's hand in her private parts. The doctor jumped and said - "No, I am not doing that".

The dat...

New kinds of implants.

So a girl went into a plastic surgery clinic to get a breast enlargement, the doctors told her that they ran out of silicon and all they had left was wood. She didn't get it obviously that would be stupid woodentit?

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