Why is calcium vital in the brass instruments manufacturing industry?

because calcium helps build trombones.

How much calcium is in a kiss?

Enough to make a bone hard.

Calcium got fired from the bank today.

They say he could only deposit.

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Mahatma Gandhi The Wise?

I thought not. It's not a story the British would tell you.

It's a Hindi legend. Gandhi was an Indian activist, so powerful and wise he could walk miles and miles without shoes, developing blisters on his feet. He had such a knowledge of resilience, he could even live through hunger strikes w...

Three expectant mothers

Are in the doctors waiting room knitting. The first takes a pill and the other two look over at her "iron so baby will be nice and healthy" she tells the other two. Not to be out done the second takes one too "calcium so baby grows up strong". The last also takes one "thalidomide, because I've not l...

My mother pushed me to become a chemist, she said i would be rich

now im full of calcium, sulphur and hydrogen, but got no money

A chicken farmer is having a problem with the number of eggs the chickens are laying. They hires 3 scientists to help them figure it out, a Biologist, A Chemist, and a Physicist.

The Biologist runs some tests and tells the farmer that the hormone levels are off and a better living condition might help.
The Chemist does some tests and tells the farmer that the feed doesn't contain enough calcium for the birds to produce eggs and suggests changing to a calcium rich diet wou...

Three expectant mothers are sitting around a table knitting sweaters for their babies to be.

The first mother says "I'm taking folic acid, I want my baby to have a strong immune system". The other mothers nod.


The second mother says "I'm taking calcium supplements, I want my baby to have strong bones". The other mothers nod.


The third mother says "Oh, well I'm taking T...

Ghandi was a what?

So we all know how Ghandi was a wonderful person and a pioneer in the non violent protest movement. But there are some facets of his life that add up to a very rare diagnosis.

First of all, he walked everywhere barefoot which made his feet very tough.

Secondly his diet was comple...

3 pregnant women in a lobby

Three pregnant women in a lobby are knitting. The first one stops and takes a pill. "It's iron" she says "I want my baby to have strong muscles"
They continue knitting except for woman number 3 who is looking confusedly at her knitting.
The second woman stops to take a pill. "It's calcium. I ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

3 pregnant women are waiting i an ob/gyn office...

All three are knitting newborn baby clothes while thry wait.

The first one pulls out a pill bottle and takes one. "This is my calcium supplement", she says. "I want my baby to have strong bones."

The 2nd one does the same. "Iron for developing blood cells," she adds.

The 3rd o...

Three Pregnant Ladies

Three pregnant women were waiting in the doctor’s waiting room for an antenatal check-up and were all knitting garments for their respective babies.



Suddenly the first expectant mother stops knitting, checks her watch, pulls a bottle of pills from her handbag and takes one.

<...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The elbow

A man is complaining to his friend: "My elbow really hurts. I think I need to see a doctor." His friend answers: "Dude, this is 2012, in the supermarket they have a new computer that can diagnose much faster and cheaper. Just place a urine sample in the machine and it says what's wrong, and that onl...

Joke I came up with (needs work)

So there are this brother and sister who live together, Cee and Sofie. Sofie says she has a date tonight, the guy will be over at 8 and that Cee will have to let him in while she gets all pampered up.


So later that evening, there is a knock at the door and Sofie shouts out from upstairs ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Bringing up Baby

Three expectant mothers sat in the obstetrician's office, knitting little sweaters for their impending children. One of them pops a pill in her mouth and the nurse asks, "What did you just take?"

"Iron." she replied. "I want my baby to have strong muscles!"


A second mother pops a p...