Welding Jokes - 14 Hilarious Welding Jokes

A man answered an ad that read "Hiring welders $18-$24 per hour"..

When he arrived he was told he'd have to take a welding test.

He turned in 2 sets of welds. One was a great weld, the other was a mess.

When the boss asked him why he did this he replied "One is $18/hr, the other is $24/hr".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So my mate was welding the other day

While grinding off his work to admire his craftsmanship, a piece of metal flew into his eye.

Score 1 for wearing safety glasses.

Anyway, he complained he couldn't see, so we packed him off down to the hospital.

After an X-ray and scan the doctor comes in and says "You have Creep...

Decided to take a welding class with my new date.

It was quite the bonding experience.

John finally decided to tie the knot with his long-time girlfriend.

One evening, after their honeymoon, he was welding some stuff in the garage, just for fun. His new wife was standing there at the bench watching him.

After a long period of silence she finally spoke................. "Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we are married, maybe it's time yo...

An Engineer was asked: "What is the Technical Difference between Welding and Wedding"

He replied: "Not much; both are joints, in a way.
In Welding there are sparks first and bonding forever, whereas in Wedding there is bonding first and sparks forever "

I saw a movie where a guy tried to shoot open a lock, but the heat from the bullet actually fused the metal together so the door wouldn't budge.

Now that's what I call a shotgun welding.

So i got 2 ‘O’ levels in Biology and metalwork...

So if your Dog needs welding I’m your man...

As a metal worker, I always get blamed for passing gas....

Because whoever smelt it, dealt it.

I came up with this while welding a base for a table.

When two metalheads marry

It's called a welding.

riveting stuff really.

So I've been studying how metal joinery was done before welding was invented. Riveting stuff really.

What do you call when two metals get married?

A welding.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

- Tell me, Rabbi, can a Jew look at women in bikinis?

I'm leaving for a vacation tomorrow, and surely there will be lots of girls in bikinis on the shore...

\- Oh, nothing wrong with that.

\- I'm a bit worried about looking at women other than my wife. And if they'll be ? Can I look at them?

\- Yes, you can.

\- But wh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young girl...

There once was a little girl named Lucy who loved to read, particularly fairy tales. Her mother was sweet and her father was a clown (literally). For a long time, the little girl would read these books of hers, and eventually came to the conclusion that trolls were her favorite creature of them all....

A moth walks into a podiatrist’s office.

He says “Doc, I’m not doing so well. My wife, Mrs. Moth is thinking of leaving me, my son Julio Moth hates me, my daughter Cindy Moth is a failure, and my boss Gregory Linovich is an evil person who feeds off my very demise. You see, I work at a factory and I’ve been at the place for 20 plus years. ...

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