UPJOKE
dioxidemonoxidecarbonoxidationoxygenhydrideperoxidehydroxidefluoridecompoundiodideinorganicpolymersilicachloride

My friend asked if I had any nitric oxide lying around. My answer?

NO

A scientist cannot tell the formula for Nitrogen Oxide.

All of them say NO. Weird.

I asked my chem teacher wether he knew the formula for nitrous oxide

Unfortunately he said no

EDIT:

for the people complaining about how i messed up the formula name, its a joke, it doesnt matter

They told me it was foolish to fill the room with nitrous oxide...

Well, who's laughing now.

A hydroxide ion and a nitric oxide molecule walk into a bar.

The bartender says: "OH NO".

Yttrium-barium-copper oxide walks into a bar

The bartender tells him, "We don't serve superconductors here."

He leaves without resistance.

Tell someone a joke and they'll laugh for a day. Suffocate them with nitrous oxide...

...and they'll laugh for the rest of their life.

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I just took nitrous oxide, and laxatives.

For shits, and giggles.

I was just proposed to with a Magnesium Oxide crystal.

... OMgOMgOMgOMgOMgOMg...

They said I could never flood New York City with nitrous oxide.

Who's laughing now?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the redditor mix a bottle of laxatives with nitrous oxide?

The same reason he did everything else: for shits and giggles.

Why Is Iron (II) Oxide So Ugly?

Because it's FeO.

What's funny about a FedEx guy telling a joke about his truck full of Nitrous oxide?

There is nothing funny about the joke, it's his delivery.

My fellow investors mocked me for buying shares in Nitrous Oxide.

It's the laughing stock.

Want to hear a joke about nitric oxide?

NO

*Notices your tungsten(IV) oxide*

O=W=O what’s this

I saw a burglar on the CCTV of my elements shop. He was taking gold, iodine, carbon, uranium, platinum, and three bottles of nitric oxide. I said over the tannoy....

'Au, I C U! NO NO NO!'


I didn't mention the Fifth Element because it was so overpriced and overhyped.

Why can't iron oxide get a date?

Porque es FeO

Little bilingual chemistry joke for you guys.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn't the buddhist accept the Nitrous Oxide for his root canal?

Because he wanted to transcend dental medication.

When life gives you...

...High Fructose Corn Syrup, Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid, Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Furmarate, Yellow #5, Tocopherol and less than 2% natural flavors...

...Make lemonade.

Saucy!?

I tried to make a 'fancy' sauce last night at dinner, I mixed vodka, gravy and nitrous oxide, sadly, all I managed was make myself an Absolut laughing stock!

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The Dental Appt.

>A guy goes to a female dentist to have a tooth extracted.She pulls out a numbing needle to give the man a shot."No way! No needles. I hate needles" the patient said.
>
>The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man says: " I can't do the gas thing. The thought of ha...

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A man is at the dentist for a root canal.

The dentist, picking up a syringe, moved toward the patient.

“WHOAAA! What’s that for?” Asked the patient

“Well, this injection will numb the area around your tooth and keep you from feeling pain during the procedure” explained the dentist.

“No way! I am deathly afraid of needl...

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A man went to the dentist with a severe toothache. The dentist looked into his mouth and told him he'd have to pull out a rotten tooth. The man said, "Whatever it takes. I can't stand the pain."

The dentist took out a needle and the man
said, "No, I'm scared to death of needles. Can
you use something else to kill the pain?"
The dentist said, "Sure, I'll just give you
some nitrous oxide instead."
The man said, "No can do, Doc. I'm allergic
to gas."
So the dentist gave hi...

So I Submitted an Article to the School Newspaper

The article was written on the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide. The article ended up being brought to the attention of the administrators. After about a month, the administration closed down the school due to "chemical risks." When the school reopened, it was disconnected from all water lines.

Gentlemen...BEHOLD! Puns.

What do you call a cool mushroom?...A fun guy!!!

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"

A guy walks into a restaurant, and takes a seat. Acr...

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Man these party drugs kids are taking are getting weirder and weirder.

Just heard they are now breathing large amounts of nitrous oxide after taking a huge dose of exlax.

It's street name is Shits and Giggles.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there's a serial killer on the loose...

There's a serial killer on the loose in a pretty big city in Southern California. This killer has been at large for some time and has a particularity sadistic method of murdering his victims, he kills them by making thousands of tiny cuts all over their bodies until they pass out from pain and die o...

Iron was talking to his good friend Aluminum...

About his girlfriend Oxide. Aluminum told Iron that he should just dump her. "You don't need that kind of negativity in your life", he said. So Iron took his advice and sent Oxide packing, but Aluminum swooped in immediately after and started seeing Oxide himself.

Needless to say, things got ...

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