Why did the Norwegians put bar codes on the sides of all their ships?

So when the come into port they can Scandinavian

There were 3 crews that worked for a telephone pole company. A German crew, a Norwegian crew, and a Swedish crew.

The foreman told each crew to put in telephone poles for the day and left. At 5:00 PM he came back and asked each crew how many poles they put in.

The German crew tells him they put in 9 poles today.
"Good job, head on home" the foreman tells them.

The Norwegian crew tells him they ...

Two old Norwegians, Sven and Oli, were drinking coffee one morning and complaining about farming....

Two old Norwegians, Sven and Oli, were drinking coffee one morning and complaining about farming. Sven complained of the costs of fertilizer, and Oli asked why he didn't just use the nightsoil from his outhouse? Sven said, "Ya, well I used to, but I really hate shoveling it all out."

Now, O...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Norwegians are walking home

Two Norwegians are walking home when one of them abruptly stops the other

1: “Stop stop, don’t step in that!”
2: “What is that? Is it poop?”

The second guy bends down and inspects it

2: “It sure looks like poop”

He the smells it

2: “It smells like poop too!” ...

What is the one thing Norway have better than Denmark?

Better neighbors!!

*(Norwegians and Danish have a long running friendly rivalry, one of my Danish friends told me this joke today)*

Why do so many Norwegians choose to buy properties with access to running water?

Because those are the properties that are affjordable!

Two Swedes and two Norwegians are traveling...

Two Swedes and two Norwegians are traveling by train from Stockholm to Oslo. The Swedes only buys one ticket, but the Norwegians buys two. On the train, the Swedes locks themselves in the toilet. When the conductor goes by, he knocks on the door, asking for the ticket. They slip the ticket under the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Norwegians in Minnesota

One dark night outside a small town in Minnesota, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.
When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company ...

How do you sink a norwegian submarine?

Swim down and knock on the hatch.

(In Sweden we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians. They do the same about swedes)

Why do Norwegians drive Chevys?

They're afraid of drowning in a Fjord.

51 Danes and 50 Norwegians were on a plane...

With no floor, and the passengers were hanging on a strap attached to the roof. The captain yelled: "The plane is too heavy! One of you have to fall to your death!" A Dane raised his hand and said: "I'll do it". Then all the Norwegians clapped their hands.

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb?

They don't bother, you can find lutfisk in the dark.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Swede with 2 assholes

A Swede and 2 Norwegians live in Austrailia and takes an after-work-beer everyday.
One day one of the Norwegians says:

Norwegian 1: Did you know Swedes have 2 assholes?!

Norwegian 2: No

Norwegian 1: They have! The bartender always says ”here comes the Swede with 2 assholes”

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