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Argentina Jokes

The Argentina team visited an orphanage in Russia

-It breaks my heart to see those poor eyes filled with sadness and hopelessness..

said one of the orphans.

Interviewer to Pelè: Do you think Barzil's 1970 team can beat today's Argentina?

Pelè: Yes.

Interviewer: By how much?

Pelè: 1:0

Interviewer: That's it?

Pelè: Well, most of us are over 75 now...

Conversation between leaders of the UK and Argentina

UK: knock knock.

Argentina: who's there?

UK: Falkland Islands.

Argentina: I don't get it.

UK: And you never will.

I've heard that Argentina is starting to get a little colder...

In fact, it's bordering on Chile

An American, a Brasilian and an Argentinian go take a test together

In it, they all have to get in a plane, take off, go to random location, and just by putting their hand out of the window mid flight, they have to guess if they are in their countries or not and why.

First goes the american, who says:
- We are in the USA, i can feel the freedom of democrac...

My mother-in-law has been abducted in Argentina. When the kidnappers called me, I asked if $10000 would be ok.

They said they didn't have so much money.

A Frenchman, an Argentine, and a Brazilian were publicly drinking in Russia during the 2018 World Cup.

But that is prohibited there, so they were captured by the police and taken to court.



The judge said that as the country was celebrating, they would take only 20 lashes, with the right to have a wish That wasn't be escape the punishment.



The Frenchman was the first, the...

It’s only colon cancer if it’s from Colon, Argentina

Otherwise it’s just sparkling cancer

23andme is a scam.

I know for a fact my grandparents immigrated to America from Argentina, but my results still came back “German”.

Why does Argentina have the least pollution?

Because they have Buenos Aíres

Why's Argentina always cold?

... Because it's bordered by Chile.

I heard the Argentina team has erectile dysfunction

because they never finish

What's the difference between the Argentina national team and a lawnmower?

You can't run the lawnmower on choke for 95 minutes!

We hoped for a good clean World Cup Final.

But instead we got a Messi one.

Congrats to Argentina.

In America, it's called Alt Right

In Germany, it's called "This is Why Grandpa Lives in Argentina"

The Brazilian the Argentine and the Genius

(To understand the joke you need to know that there is a lot of rivalry between Brazilians and Argentines) An Argentine and a Brazilian when walking through the desert found a magic lamp. A genie came out of it and began to speak: "You are my masters and each of you will be granted a wish." The Ar...

A Brazilian and Argentinian find a lamp after a football (soccer) match...

On their way back from a very tight football match, two fans, one Brazilian and one Argentinian bump into each other and see a lamp at their feet.

Assuming there is a genie inside, they begin arguing who gets to rub the lamp first. The Brazilian concedes and allows the Argentinian to go firs...

My mate needed a bone marrow transplant

We found a match in Argentina

The operation was a success

Our thanks go out to Diego Marrow Donor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Barack Obama is sitting a table with two other presidents at the top of a tower

The two other presidents are from Argentina and Sierra Leone.

Obama with a smug face grabs a $100 dollar bill from his wallet and then throws it out of the tower in a overbearing fashion and says:

In my country... we have a shit ton of these.

The president of Argentina then grab...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In light of recent discoveries, I made a joke

A conspiracy theorist died and went to heaven. At the pearly gates, St. Peter told the conspiracy theorist “You may ask me one question, and I will reply honestly.”

The conspiracy theorist thought for some time and asked “Did Hitler escape death in WWII and move to Argentina, where he still r...

islas Malvinas

The English Government had finally decided to give the veterans of this terrible war between Argentina and the UK, some financial support, to the families of the veterans and to the veteran themselves. One of this war's veteran went to a pub in London and started pointing to a drink behind the barma...

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If my ancestors hadn't managed to escape from Nazi Germany, I probably wouldn't exist.

They went to Argentina in 1945.

A french, an American and an Argentinian are in a plane.

The pilot let them open the window, and the French says "We are in France, because I just touched the Eiffel Tower!" Then the American didn't believe him and he said "That's a lie, we are in America. I just touched the Empire State!" The Argentinian didn't believe them both, so he opens the window a...

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Worst Injury Imaginable

A South American guy gets into a terrible accident. When he comes to in the hospital, he looks down and sees a bloody rag covering his groin, and notices he can't feel his penis.

A doctor walks into his hospital room and the guy looks at him, and says, through tears "Give it to me straight, D...

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So the Pope is on the way to his coronation...

...and the cardinals are preparing for his arrival.

One of the cardinals visits a local fisherman and says "I need to catch a fish to serve the new pope tonight".

The fisherman takes him out on his boat and they catch a massive fish.

The fisherman yells "that is a huge son of ...

Everybody knows Bubba

Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Bubba and...

Donald Trump is said to have lack of foreign policy experience to be president, but in fairness, he has spent time meeting with foreign leaders around the world.

Ms. Sweden, Ms. Argentina...

Ryan Lochte's first draft of his apology statement...

"Hi guys, my bad. Apologies to the people of Argentina. Jeah!"

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Geography of a woman

Between the ages of 15-18, a woman is like China. Developing at a sizzling rate with a lot of potential but as yet still not free or open.Between the ages of 18-21, a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful. Between the ages of 21-30, a woman is l...

A chauffeur goes to pick up the Pope from the airport.

On arrival at the Vatican airport, the chauffeur picks up the Pope as he always does, but this time the Pope refused to step inside the car. He asks the Pope, "Why won't you get in?" to which the Pope responds, "Let me drive back to the Vatican! I'm from Argentina, we love to drive!" The chauffeur t...

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