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Ramen Noodle Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Masturbating is a lot like ramen noodles

When you chose to do it, it’s fantastic. When you HAVE to do it, it sucks.

What's the difference between a woman and a bowl of ramen noodles?

A bowl of ramen noodles is actually ready in 5 minutes.

A semi truck full of Ramen noodle caught fire today and the whole shipment was considered ruined

The total loss came out to be $73

Contest Emcee: Congratulations! You just won a lifetime supply of Ramen Noodles!

Me: Can I just take the $20 instead?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was doing a little shopping at my local grocery store.

As the cute cashier was ringing up my stuff, she saw that all I had was some ramen noodles, frozen burritos, and canned spaghetti.

She giggled and said “I can tell your single”. I laughed and asked “what gave it away?”

She replied “you’re fuckin ugly”

I just checked my account balance at the ATM

It printed me a coupon for ramen noodles

A guy was checking out at a supermarket with an attractive young clerk.

She scanned the frozen dinners, the beer, the ramen noodles and kept giving him eyes in between each scan.

As she scanned the condoms she looks and him and says, "Single huh?"

He replies, "yea, how'd you know?"

She says, "Because you're ugly."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman is checking out at a grocery store

and puts a coke, candy bar, ramen noodles, and a tub of ice cream on the counter and the cashier says, "you must be single." "Wow, that's amazing! I sure am, what gave it away?" replies the woman. The cashier mumbles under his breath, "because you're ugly as shit."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chicken or Beef

A man was relaxed in his recliner watching TV and from the kitchen he hears his wife say “ Honey, would you like chicken or beef for dinner?”
The husband thinks it over and shouts “I think I want beef tonight.” The wife shouted back, “Fuck you asshole, you are eating ramen noodles, I was talking...

How long does it take a tweaker to go shopping?

An hour 5 minutes for the Ramen noodles and foil. 55 minutes to fix the squeaky shopping cart wheel.

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