Why did the ramen get arrested when he went outside without putting on his bowl?

Public Noodlity.

"Ramen."

- Scooby Doo finishing a prayer.

You’ve heard of alphabet soup now get ready for....

Times new ramen!

What's the difference between a woman and a bowl of ramen noodles?

A bowl of ramen noodles is actually ready in 5 minutes.

I put some instant ramen on my grandma today...

I call it Instagram.

TIL ramen is fully cooked before packaging

Otherwise it would be called rawmen

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Masturbating is a lot like ramen noodles

When you chose to do it, it’s fantastic. When you HAVE to do it, it sucks.

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What does a Missouri congressman order out at a Japanese restaurant?

Ramen and ra-women.

What's the difference between ramen soup and an Oscar-bait movie?

You watch one for three minutes, stirring occasionally. You watch the other for three hours and it's occasionally stirring.

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Why don't Japanese cannibals cook their food?

Because they prefer ramen.

How does ramen flirt?

They send noods.

Seen at a local restaurant.

I have already eaten 20% of my ramen

Amen

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At the grocery store, I went to the checkout line with the cute cashier...

I started unloading my groceries onto the belt.

Package of Ramen noodles.
Quart of milk.
Half a dozen eggs.
A couple of frozen dinners.

As she is scanning the items, she looks up and smiles, "so, you're single, huh?"

I look at my groceries and smile back. "Yeah, ha, w...

I've paid $.25 for a bag of Top Ramen since I was in college

Either they don't raise their prices for inflation or I've been getting ripped off the past 20 years...

I like lots of different foods, like ramen, oatmeal, pudding, rice...

...just for instants.

I just checked my account balance at the ATM

It printed me a coupon for ramen noodles

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How to tell if a Japanese restaurant is authentic?

The menu will be written in Times New Ramen

I'm starting a new pasta cult

May we praise the Noodle Lord for eternity. Ramen.

Contest Emcee: Congratulations! You just won a lifetime supply of Ramen Noodles!

Me: Can I just take the $20 instead?

I have achieved the peak ramen-to-income ratio.

If I make more money, I'll eat less ramen.

And if I make any less money, I'll also eat less ramen.

A monk walks up to a ramen stand and says:

A monk walks up to a ramen stand and says: ‘make me one with everything’

I recently started putting egg in my ramen.

It's really what separates the ra-boys from the ra-men.

What form of art is very popular among college kids?

Ramen doodles

If you mix taco bell sauce into your ramen..

It tastes exactly like poverty.

At the end of the day, we’re all human beans

Together we will rice. Now lettuce pray. Ramen.

Who ate all the noodles in ancient egypt?

King Tootin'ramen

Rich people start their meals by saying "Bless us oh Lord for these thine gifts..."

Poor people say "Ramen."

What is a poor man's favorite flavor of ramen?

Clearance

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I was doing a little shopping at my local grocery store.

As the cute cashier was ringing up my stuff, she saw that all I had was some ramen noodles, frozen burritos, and canned spaghetti.

She giggled and said “I can tell your single”. I laughed and asked “what gave it away?”

She replied “you’re fuckin ugly”

Did you hear about the Ramen warehouse that burned down?

Dozens of dollars worth of Ramen was lost.

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What did God say after he created the Japanese?

Ramen.

Alphabet Soup?

More like Times New Ramen, amirite?



(Not OC, but one of my favorite one-liners and haven’t seen it posted in this sub)

What Did the Giant Say to His Enemy When He Served Him Ramen at a Vietnamese Restaurant?

Fee Fi Fo Fum, Faux Pho For Foe

If Coronavirus doesn’t kill me...

All the ramen I’m eating in quarantine will

What do cannibals put in their soup?

Ramen!

--------

Before you judge harshly, I would like to state that this was invented by a six year old, all on his own, no coaching.

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Back in the early 1900s Japanese cops always had a mustache

One day a Japanese man walks into a restaurant and asks the waiter for a free bowl of ramen because he is a cop. The waiter replied " you dont have a mustache so how do i know id you are a real cop...". The man quickly pulls down his pants and undys, points to his bush and says "im undercover"

What kind of soup do computers eat?

RAMen.

Work got cancelled for two weeks, so I go to the grocery store on the way home.

I’ve seen all the news, lots of Facebook pictures of empty shelves, but I was not prepared for this madness. There’s a line of like five people by the frozen goods aisle, trying to get pizza.

So I decide to go get some ramen. I know it’s not the best, but it keeps forever and I’ve been perfec...

Loving noodles is almost as if you are religious

Can I get a ramen?

What is a cannibal’s favorite type of pasta?

Ramen.

A guy was checking out at a supermarket with an attractive young clerk.

She scanned the frozen dinners, the beer, the ramen noodles and kept giving him eyes in between each scan.

As she scanned the condoms she looks and him and says, "Single huh?"

He replies, "yea, how'd you know?"

She says, "Because you're ugly."

Dear Lord, thank you for these noodles

Ramen.

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A woman is checking out at a grocery store

and puts a coke, candy bar, ramen noodles, and a tub of ice cream on the counter and the cashier says, "you must be single." "Wow, that's amazing! I sure am, what gave it away?" replies the woman. The cashier mumbles under his breath, "because you're ugly as shit."

What do college students say after praying?

Ramen

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The biggest instant noodle company in Japan just went out of business

People are calling it the Fall of the Ramen Empire

What's an Asian cannibal's favorite food?

Ramen

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chicken or Beef

A man was relaxed in his recliner watching TV and from the kitchen he hears his wife say “ Honey, would you like chicken or beef for dinner?”
The husband thinks it over and shouts “I think I want beef tonight.” The wife shouted back, “Fuck you asshole, you are eating ramen noodles, I was talking...

If you're Christian and poor you can end grace by saying the name of the food you're about to eat.

Ramen

What is Asia's favourite sitcom?

Everybody loves Ramen.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If King Tut had traveled to Japan

there's a good chance he would've been... poopin ramen.

The wonderful world of Ironi

"Saw an asian classmate eat ramen and thought ’how typical’ than looked down at my El Pollo Loco" - Hispanic colleague

Where does asian food go to fight to the death?

The Ramen Colosseum.

Do you want some Raymond?

Guy 1 - do you want some Raymond?
Guy 2- do you mean ramen?
Guy 1- no, Raymond! Everybody loves Raymond!

There might be plenty of good food choices in College..

.. but you can't Top Ramen

Church of Frugality

Church of Frugality:

"Thank you for the food which we are about to receive. Ramen."

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