Why did the ramen get arrested when he went outside without putting on his bowl?

Public Noodlity.

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At the grocery store, I went to the checkout line with the cute cashier...

I started unloading my groceries onto the belt.

Package of Ramen noodles.
Quart of milk.
Half a dozen eggs.
A couple of frozen dinners.

As she is scanning the items, she looks up and smiles, "so, you're single, huh?"

I look at my groceries and smile back. "Yeah, ha, w...

TIL ramen is fully cooked before packaging

Otherwise it would be called rawmen

You’ve heard of alphabet soup now get ready for....

Times new ramen!

What's the difference between ramen soup and an Oscar-bait movie?

You watch one for three minutes, stirring occasionally. You watch the other for three hours and it's occasionally stirring.

How does ramen flirt?

They send noods.

Seen at a local restaurant.

I like lots of different foods, like ramen, oatmeal, pudding, rice...

...just for instants.

Work got cancelled for two weeks, so I go to the grocery store on the way home.

I’ve seen all the news, lots of Facebook pictures of empty shelves, but I was not prepared for this madness. There’s a line of like five people by the frozen goods aisle, trying to get pizza.

So I decide to go get some ramen. I know it’s not the best, but it keeps forever and I’ve been perfec...

"Ramen."

- Scooby Doo finishing a prayer.

I have already eaten 20% of my ramen

Amen

I've paid $.25 for a bag of Top Ramen since I was in college

Either they don't raise their prices for inflation or I've been getting ripped off the past 20 years...

What's the difference between a woman and a bowl of ramen noodles?

A bowl of ramen noodles is actually ready in 5 minutes.

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Masturbating is a lot like ramen noodles

When you chose to do it, it’s fantastic. When you HAVE to do it, it sucks.

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What did God say after he created the Japanese?

Ramen.

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I was doing a little shopping at my local grocery store.

As the cute cashier was ringing up my stuff, she saw that all I had was some ramen noodles, frozen burritos, and canned spaghetti.

She giggled and said “I can tell your single”. I laughed and asked “what gave it away?”

She replied “you’re fuckin ugly”

If Coronavirus doesn’t kill me...

All the ramen I’m eating in quarantine will

Who ate all the noodles in ancient egypt?

King Tootin'ramen

At the end of the day we are all human beans.

And together we will rice

Lettuce pray

Ramen

A monk walks up to a ramen stand and says:

A monk walks up to a ramen stand and says: ‘make me one with everything’

I have achieved the peak ramen-to-income ratio.

If I make more money, I'll eat less ramen.

And if I make any less money, I'll also eat less ramen.

What do feminst cannibals eat ?

Ramen.

Contest Emcee: Congratulations! You just won a lifetime supply of Ramen Noodles!

Me: Can I just take the $20 instead?

What Did the Giant Say to His Enemy When He Served Him Ramen at a Vietnamese Restaurant?

Fee Fi Fo Fum, Faux Pho For Foe

Alphabet Soup?

More like Times New Ramen, amirite?



(Not OC, but one of my favorite one-liners and haven’t seen it posted in this sub)

I used to tell Ramen jokes...

but I stopped when I realized they were just cheap laughs.

What do cannibals put in their soup?

Ramen!

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Before you judge harshly, I would like to state that this was invented by a six year old, all on his own, no coaching.

I’m so broke, I went to check my account balance at the ATM...

And it printed me out a coupon for Ramen Noodles

What is a poor man's favorite flavor of ramen?

Clearance

If you mix taco bell sauce into your ramen..

It tastes exactly like poverty.

Did you hear about the Ramen warehouse that burned down?

Dozens of dollars worth of Ramen was lost.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Back in the early 1900s Japanese cops always had a mustache

One day a Japanese man walks into a restaurant and asks the waiter for a free bowl of ramen because he is a cop. The waiter replied " you dont have a mustache so how do i know id you are a real cop...". The man quickly pulls down his pants and undys, points to his bush and says "im undercover"

Loving noodles is almost as if you are religious

Can I get a ramen?

What do you call alphabet soup with only I, V, X, L, C, D, and M?

Ramen Numerals!

What is a cannibal’s favorite type of pasta?

Ramen.

What kind of soup do computers eat?

RAMen.

Dear Lord, thank you for these noodles

Ramen.

What do college students say after praying?

Ramen

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a Japanese person and a cannibal?

One eats Ramen, the other eats Raw Men

How did the mayor of Chicago learn to cook noodles?

With the Ramen Manual

A guy was checking out at a supermarket with an attractive young clerk.

She scanned the frozen dinners, the beer, the ramen noodles and kept giving him eyes in between each scan.

As she scanned the condoms she looks and him and says, "Single huh?"

He replies, "yea, how'd you know?"

She says, "Because you're ugly."

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A woman is checking out at a grocery store

and puts a coke, candy bar, ramen noodles, and a tub of ice cream on the counter and the cashier says, "you must be single." "Wow, that's amazing! I sure am, what gave it away?" replies the woman. The cashier mumbles under his breath, "because you're ugly as shit."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The biggest instant noodle company in Japan just went out of business

People are calling it the Fall of the Ramen Empire

If you're Christian and poor you can end grace by saying the name of the food you're about to eat.

Ramen

What's an Asian cannibal's favorite food?

Ramen

Do you want some Raymond?

Guy 1 - do you want some Raymond?
Guy 2- do you mean ramen?
Guy 1- no, Raymond! Everybody loves Raymond!

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Chicken or Beef

A man was relaxed in his recliner watching TV and from the kitchen he hears his wife say “ Honey, would you like chicken or beef for dinner?”
The husband thinks it over and shouts “I think I want beef tonight.” The wife shouted back, “Fuck you asshole, you are eating ramen noodles, I was talking...

There might be plenty of good food choices in College..

.. but you can't Top Ramen

Where does asian food go to fight to the death?

The Ramen Colosseum.

Church of Frugality

Church of Frugality:

"Thank you for the food which we are about to receive. Ramen."

How long does it take a tweaker to go shopping?

An hour 5 minutes for the Ramen noodles and foil. 55 minutes to fix the squeaky shopping cart wheel.

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