Why are murders so difficult to solve in Alabama?

All the DNA matches and there are no dental records

How do you prevent murders?

Use a scarecrow

A man drives a train in Bulgaria. One day, he falls asleep driving and runs over someone walking on the tracks. Well, his case goes to court, and he gets the death sentence for murder

So, he’s on death row and the executioner approaches him.

“What would you like for your last meal?”

“I would like a banana please.”

The executioner thinks it’s weird, but shrugs and gives him a banana. The guy eats his banana, waits a while, and gets strapped into the electric c...

They say that 95% of murders are committed by someone the victim knows, if that's true...

New "friends" are actually just people who became 19 times more likely to kill you

What do you call someone with a lisp who murders angels and ghosts?

Ethereal killer

A guy murders his parents.

He is presented in front of a judge and he begs the judge to show mercy while delivering his punishment.

The judge says to him, "You killed your own parents. Why would I show mercy to you?"

The guy looks at the judge and says, "Well, because I am an orphan."

What do you call a pub that’s famous for its murders?

A crowbar.

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