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Manslaughter Jokes

Bumped into my ex today...

Well, the police say it's vehicular manslaughter. So, yeah whatever.

I hit a clown car once. I faced 10 counts of manslaughter.

Damn autocorrect. I meant man's laughter. Everyone was fine.

I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal.

Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want.

Technically, killing furries isn't manslaughter

It's poaching.

Did you know that when someone gets run over by a Tesla it isn't considered Vehicular Manslaughter?

They call it electric car battery!

Did you hear that Herschel Walker tried to run over some kids and was arrested attempted vehicular manslaughter

In fairness, there was a sign "Drive like your kids live here".

I went to a costume party where crime was the theme

The host looked at my crow costume with a disappointed frown.

“I thought I told everyone to dress like a crime!” He said, gesturing at his blood soaked butcher’s apron, and severed human hand.

“I get yours, manslaughter! But I did indeed wear an appropriate costume. Now watch this; ‘C...

Guy in orchestra was charged with manslaughter

Police state that he had a history of reckless violins.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, An Irishman and a Scotsman are all sentenced for 10 years for manslaughter....

But are all told they can each take something into their cell with them.
The Englishman thinks and says "I'll take a sexy Blonde girl in with me"
The Irishman thinks and says "I'll take a lifetime supply of beer"
The Scotsman thinks and he says "I'll take a million cigarettes"
The High c...

What crime do we commit on r/jokes?

Manslaughter

I killed a dentist with an axe but only got charged with manslaughter.

My lawyer said it was an axe-a-dental death.

Why wasn't Caitlyn Jenner charged with vehicular manslaughter?

It wasn't her fault. Her tranny slipped.

Baby, are you a Caucasian teen with connected parents on trial for DUI manslaughter defended by a high powered attorney?

'Cause you got FINE written all over you.

What's the difference between hot blooded manslaughter and cold blooded premeditated murder

A few degrees.

I Hit A Pole While Driving In Europe Once

I'm now wanted in Poland for manslaughter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men are sitting in a prison cell

One says

"I'm in here for 10 years, manslaughter. What about you?"

"I opened the window at my job and now I'm here for 15 years"

"What the fuck?"

"Yeah the submarine captain was PISSED"

Men are afraid of women's laughter...

Women are afraid of manslaughter.

My son is studying to become a lawyer, so I texted him, "If you tickle a man to death by accident, is it considered..."

"...manslaughter?!"

LPT: How to get out of murder/manslaughter charges.

Become a police officer.

What kind of laughter gets you a prison sentence?

Manslaughter.

Me: Hello 911

Operator: hello what's your emergency

Me: these men won't stop laughing at me

Operator: that's annoying but it's not a crime

Me: wtf is manslaughter then

What's it called when a man gets his crotch kicked.

Testicular Manslaughter.

Writing a funny joke is like playing a game of darts.

Sometimes you hit. Sometimes you miss, and sometimes you get sent to jail for manslaughter.

I told a joke to a bunch of guys. They laughed. Now I'm going to prison.

For manslaughter.

Crikey, more sad news from the world of technology: Anti-virus developer John McAfee is appearing in court for manslaughter...

They estimate the trial could last for 30 days.

Calling 9-1-1

A guy walks into a bar after a long day of work to relax and have a beer. Unfortunately there is a big group of young men crowded into the bar laughing loudly and carrying on. Finally, in exasperation, the guy calls 9-1-1. "Hello, 911, what is your emergency?" the dispatcher asks. "These men won’t ...

Did you hear ? Toby died while Chuck was laughing at him.

I probably think it was a manslaughter.

So I'm in court...

And the judge says "You are guilty on charge of manslaughter."

And I say "I object. I killed a woman."

It's funny how if you don't give a guy enough space...

A man's laughter quickly turns into manslaughter

A man is up for murder

A man is up for murder and discovers his friend a member of the jury
He asks him with great glee "will you please try and get me sentenced with manslaughter"
His friend decides to take up the request.
The mans day in court comes up and he is sentenced with manslaughter, delighted he turns t...

Did you know?

You can't spell manslaughter without man's laughter....

Never tell your friend a good joke while he's driving...

You could be charged with vehicular manslaughter.

A woman goes into her office

She sees 2 of her male co-workers chatting, and one of them makes a joke, they both start laughing.

The woman, who is in a bad mood, thought that they were laughing at her, so she says "Hey, stop that!". The men don't hear them over the sound of their own laughter. The woman then says that if...

The train driver.

Once upon a time there was a guy that was very passionate about trains ever since he was a little kid.

So no one was surprised that once he grew up he became a train conductor.

However as much as he loved trains he was really terrible at driving them.

Sadly, one day he caused a ...

An awful conductor...

So, a polish train conductor is carrying people to go out of the country. However, the tracks were icy because it was the middle of winter.
So the train slipped and rolled over eight times. Miraculously all but three people lived. When the conductor was trialed for manslaughter, he was found guil...

Twenty five years... [Long Joke]

Twenty five years. Twenty five years, and I never killed a single person until a few months ago. Now I'm on death row for multiple charges: manslaughter, murder, negligence.

After the first, I thought it was over. I thought nothing of the fact that the Sheriff warned me I would be sentenced t...

There was an old Bolivian train driver...

who had been driving trains for nearly 25 years, maintaining a perfect record. One day, he is running a little behind and will be late to his next stop if he doesn't hurry. He calls into the train station and asks to speed up the train so he can make it in time. They tell him that he's hauling too m...

...How did you do it?

There was once a train operator who had been driving trains for well over 20 years. Over the course of his career, he had experienced a number of close calls in the accident department. At long last, sadly, he hit a schoolbus full of children on its way out of the elementary school parking lot, kill...

I heard a story once about an American train driver.

He was operating a late night train and feel asleep at the controls. He ended up failing to recognize a stop sign and as a result his train hit a person and killed them immediately. He was tried for manslaughter and sentenced to the electric chair. Just before being put in the chair, he was given th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

James from Bulgaria lived trains.

James from Bulgaria loved trains since he was a boy. He particularly loved how fast they could go. As a child he enjoyed playing with model trains and even owned an old conductors hat that he wore everywhere.

When he grew up he worked very hard and eventually became a train driver. And he lo...

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