Why can't Donald Trump be hung for treason?

Fake Noose

The 3 men (Joke told by professor)

Sometime during the middle ages, one day - an engineer, a priest, and a farmer were being executed by the guillotine due to their crimes they commit against the village

the engineer was punished because he was rigging his builds and selling it blindly to people to make extra money by offering...

I was always taught that the punishment for Treason was death.

But apparently it's only 4 years.

Trump 2020!

20 for obstruction, 20 for treason

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A secretary reports a general for treason to Stalin in WWII.

I heard him saying, "That murderous mustache!"" The General explains he meant Hitler. Stalin asks the secretary, "Who did YOU think he meant?"

Ben, Dan and Carl were sentence to death by a firing squad because of treason to the state.

Ben was the first up, the general would give the command to his soldiers to shoot. “Ready..Aim...” Then Ben suddenly shouted “EARTHQUAKE!!” All the soldiers hid for cover and Ben escaped. Dan was next. “Ready...Aim...” Then Dan Screamed “TSUNAMI!!” The soldiers hid for cover again and they lost Ben ...

Tis' the Treason

Santa: "Please help. Global Warming has put my shop under water. My elves are crossing the boarder for refuge"

Trump: " Don't worry Santy, I'm sending ICE"

What do you call a sapling that betrayed it's country?

Treason

Manafort and Cohen flip on the President. Trump is convicted of treason. He is 'hung by the neck until dead.' Miraculously, minutes after his hanging, he walks out of the gallows and addresses the press:

"Fake noose, folks."

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are all found guilty of treason...

and are sentenced to beheading by guillotine.

On the day of the triple execution, they are brought to be beheaded. The priest blesses the execution, saying all is done in God's name, and the King orders the three executed.

The mathematician is to be killed first, and the executioner gi...

Donald Trump is convicted of treason

His punishment is hanging. On the day of his execution, the rope is tied around his neck as thousands watch. The floor drops, but Trump is unharmed. The noose was fake.

The Original Sin

When God found out that Eve gave Adam the forbidden fruit, he decided that she deserved to be punished. Her sin was so terrible that also every other woman would have to pay for Eve’s treason. God sentenced them all to pay with their blood... but through convenient monthly installments.

What do you call it when a southerner commits treason?

Betra-y'all

If Groot had kids, and one of them betrayed the guardians

it would be treason.

Why did the tree go to jail?

Because it committed treason.

Trump is a very reasonable man

Sorry I misspoke. I meant Trump is a very treasonable man.

The tree tried to kill its president.

I don't know why but I'm sure it had its treason.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Rachel Maddow & Joy Reid die & go to heaven.

When they arrive at the Pearly Gates, God is there to greet them: "Welcome. You are free to ask me one question, which I will answer truthfully."


Breathlessly, without hesitating, Rachel asks, "Why didn't Mueller prosecute Trump-Russia treason? Was he in on the conspiracy???"

G...

How many capitals does Fence have?!

They always say Murder is a capital of Fence, Kidnapping is a capital of Fence, Treason is a capital of Fence... and the names? Geeze, not very inviting places.

Two Soviet Border Guards Are Standing on the Finnish Border

One turns to the other and says, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I suspect I am thinking what you're thinking."

"In that case, you're under arrest for treason."

Donald Trump's lawyer walks into a bar…

... And sits down next to Trump.

He says, "I'm sorry but I can't really help you. You're looking at life in prison for treason."


Frustrated, Trump pays the bartender and storms out. On his way out he accidentally bumps into Mike Pence.


He says to Pence, "Pardon me."

Why do trees only give birth to daughters?

Because otherwise they would be committing treason.

Mueller: Please tell me why you have so many suspicious Russian connections.

Trump: I have a perfectly treasonable explanation!

Whats the difference between a Russian garbanzo bean and a Russian chickpea?

A president has never been blackmailed into treason over a video of him paying to have a Russian garbanzo bean on his face.

Did you hear about the politician who sold American weed to Russian spies?

He was convicted of high treason.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was once a defected army general named Choo who was hellbent on taking over the world

The army he commanded was the most fierce, most massive and the most successful army in the region. The army was so reputable, that they informally became known as the R's, for Ruthless, because they took no survivors. It was either join them or die. So naturally, many people wanted to work for them...

What do you call ratting out the President's daughter for smoking weed?

High treason.

As told by an Austrian engineer

Three engineers, a Brit, a Frenchman, and an Austrian, were found guilty of treason in a former colony. The sentence was death by guillotine, but the engineers were given a choice of receiving the penalty face-up, or face-down. The Brit chose face-up and the blade miraculously stopped inches short o...

What do you call an Ent prince who betrays his dad?

Treason

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