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Mistresses Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trump has no mistresses...

He has alternative fucks.

I write my mistresses' phone numbers on the rear view mirror.

I know my wife would never think to look there.

What develops great logistical skills in a man?

Having three mistresses at the same time.

Juno and Jupiter Sitting in Space

Jupiter's moons were named after the Roman god's mistresses and this week NASA sent a spacecraft named after his wife, Juno, to observe the planet. If they find evidence that Jupiter has been unfaithful, the next thing NASA will be sending is a Death Star.

Please settle an argument regarding this joke: why is it funny?

>What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

>30 pounds.

This joke has been the source of debate among my peers. I know I'm right, but I need evidence/validation. Why is this joke funny? What is the punch line implying?

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EDIT: Thanks for the response...
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