UPJOKE
walt disneymickey mousecatdoganthropomorphicpuppygoofyub iwerksdaisy duckargentinapetepinocchiomovierussi taylordonald duck

Minnie Mouse Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mickey and Minnie Mouse Are in Divorce Court

The Divorce Court Judge has just finished reviewing Mickey's petition for divorce when he says to Mickey, "Now let me get this straight, you say you want to divorce Minnie Mouse because she's crazy?".

Mickey, visibly upset and very emotional responds to the judge: "No, No, No Your Honor. I d...

Why is Minnie Mouse so happy?

Because Mickey has a STEAMBOAT WILLIE

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mickey and Minnie Mouse getting a divorce

Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. They are in court before a judge.

Minnie's attorney addresses the judge.

"Your honor. Mickey alleges Minnie is crazy. I have an evaluation of her mental condition from a highly competent psychiatrist. The report concludes quite simply. Minnie is...

What is Minnie Mouse's father's name?

Massive Mouse

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mickey Mouse is on trial for the murder of Minnie Mouse

The judge asks to clarify, "The report here says your motive for killing her is for being too silly?"

"No your honor, she was fucking Goofy"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse divorce

In the courtroom the judge says to Mickey, “Mr Mouse, I don’t see any evidence to support your charge that Mrs Mouse has become insane”. Mickey gets a confused look on his face and says, “Judge, I never complained that she was insane. I said that she was fucking Goofy”.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mickey Mouse is divorcing Minnie Mouse...

Mickey Mouse is in court filing for a divorce from Minnie. One day during the process, Mickey's lawyer comes up to him and says, "You know, you told me that your wife was crazy, but she seems perfectly sane to me."
"I didn't say she was crazy," Mickey replied, "I said she was fucking Goofy."

Mickey Mouse is in the middle of a nasty divorce from Minnie Mouse

Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation.

"I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane," said the judge.

Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's f*cking Goofy!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mickey mouse has a cousin who kisses everyone:

Hickey mouse.

Mickey mouse has a cousin who is a special teams player for the Miami Dolphins:
Kickey Mouse.

Mickey mouse has a cousin who loves performing cunnilingus:
Lickey Mouse.

Mickey mouse has a cousin who is very particular:
Pickey Mouse.

Mickey mouse has ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Micky and Minnie Mouse are consulting their lawyer about planning a divorce.

Halfway through reading Mickie's statement, the lawyer finds something odd.

"So it says here," he inquires, eyebrow notched," that you want to divorce your wife because she's, ahem, 'extremely silly'?


"No," Mickie shouted, hardly able to control his anger. " I want the divorce beca...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse go to couple's therapy...

Their marriage has been seeing troubles lately so they decided to give it a try. The therapist decides to hear each of their sides of the story separately.

The therapist takes Mickey into a separate room and Mickey tells him his side of things. Then Minnie gets her chance to tell the story. ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a new exhibit at disneyworld that features statues of some disney favorite characters.

A tour guide is leading guests through the exhibit as they pass such favorites as Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy, as well as Pluto. As they're going through they pass a statue that's in the shape of a giant turd. Puzzled, one of the guests pipes up and asks the tour guide, "what's the d...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Disney jokes

PINOCCHIO
Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper on his manhood and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. A couple of we...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mickey Mouse decided he wanted a divorce...

He went to a divorce lawyer and explained why he wanted to end his marriage to Minnie Mouse.

The lawyer reviewed the story and said "I don't really think your wifes mental instability is a reason to leave her."

Mickey then replied "I didn't say she was crazy! I said she was fucking Goo...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.