Told a joke to a bunch of bugs

And I’ll heard was crickets…

A man goes to a doctor because he always sees bugs that playing soccer through his eyes

Doctor: "So we need an MRI scan. We couid make you an appointment next sunday".
The patient seems surprised: "Are you nuts? Sunday is the finals".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So you know how bed bugs come from beds?

Have you thought about cockroaches

Are bugs good to eat?

A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

Hey I seem to have picked up a stomach bug

So far just explosive diarrhea. I will keep y’all posted as situation can best be described as fluid.

Bugs in C code should be called fishes

Because fishes are found in the sea

What did the other bugs call the bug who wanted to be an astronaut?

A LUNAtick

Bored with the carefree life, Timon and Pumbaa decide to join the workforce as software engineers

On their first day at work, Pumbaa's code keeps returning errors for several hours. Finally, Timon says: "Why don't you take a break? I'll fix you some bugs."

I have trouble with etymology and entomology...

...I can never find the right word and it really bugs me.

Why are frogs always so happy?

They eat what ever bugs them

What did Bugs Bunny say after beaming aboard the Enterprise?

What's up Spock?

Damn girl, are you a Windows update?

'Cause after I'll do you, you'll be full of bugs

99 critical bugs in the code... 99 critical bugs. Track one down, patch it when found...

100 critical bugs in the code.

Couple at a Bull Auction

This couple goes to an agriculture show way out in the countryside on a fine Sunday afternoon and are watching the auctioning off of bulls. The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off: "A fine specimen, this bull produced 60 times last year." The wife nudges her husband in...

What was the last thing to enter the bugs mind after hitting the windshield?

his back legs

On the seventh day God rested when He should've fixed the bugs.

Just came up with this after dealing with somebody's PMS.

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

Bugs bunny

I went to a fancy Italian restaurant but stormed out when I found bugs in my food.

Turned out it was the anty pasto.

I don’t understand how people are complaining about visual bugs in Cyberpunk 2077

It’s just your character’s cyberoptics malfunctioning.

Did you hear about the two bed bugs who met in the mattress?

They were married in the spring!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the last thing that goes through a bugs mind when it hits your windscreen?

It's ass.

It always bugs me when my girlfriend shouts out other guy’s names out in bed...

But it annoys me even more when the guys reply.

WANTED: Large amount of rats, mice and bed bugs

… as my current rental agreement requires me to leave the apartment in the condition it was when I moved in.

Apple software doesn't have bugs.

It has worms.

When bugs and humans mix together, what do you get?

A distracted population.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I was a kid, I was terrified of earwigs because I thought they were bugs that crawled in your ears.

Imagine my reaction when I heard about cockroaches.

What web developers like bugs?

Spiders

99 programming bugs in the code

99 programming bugs in the code.

99 programming bugs.

Take one down, patch it all up.

111 programming bugs in the code.


EDIT: FRONT PAGE! HOLY COW! Thanks so much, reddit! Credit goes to my IT teacher.
EDIT 2: WE SURPASSED 1K UPVOTES!?!?! THANKS!

99 little bugs in the code...

99 bugs in the code. Fix one bug, compile it down. 167 little bugs in the code....sigh.

Why do most programmers use dark mode?

Because the light attracts too many bugs

What kind of bugs smell the best?

Deodor-ants

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the last thing that goes through a bugs mind when it hits your windshield?

Its asshole.

Credit to my dad many, many years ago.

Whats the favourite Song of flying Bugs?

Pretty Fly (for a White Guy)

What do you call bugs on a game show?

Contest-ants

I’ve developed an app with information about insects, but it keeps getting bad reviews in App Store



People say it has a lot of bugs?

What’s a good way to pass time with some bugs?

Magic ticks!

If life is just a game, then mosquitos aren’t bugs

They’re features

Why do bugs have odd beliefs?

They're in sects.

What would you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs?

Spider

Why does Bugs Bunny like Lola Bunny so much?

She's a friend with bunny feets.

The fact that some people can’t distinguish between etymology and entomology...

...bugs me in ways I can’t put into words.

Scientists have found crazed bugs on the moon.

Lunar ticks

Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck we're in the middle of a robbery...

Bugs Bunny asked Daffy, "Is this whiskey?"

Daffy answered, "Of course it's whiskey, but it's safer than wobbing a bank"

I'm so mad! I found out my grandfather clock is full of bugs.

I guess it's like they say, time flies.

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