My friend always asks me "Why do you put your laptop on top of a cooling rack when you're using it?"

I told him "Because this site uses cookies."

Did you hear about the new cooling device for the lower jaw of a south American rodent?

It's a chinchilla chin chiller.

Cooling yourself to -273C is completely fine...

If you do, you'll be 0K!

Are you fond of alternative sources for cooling technologies?

I'm a huge fan.

Did you hear about that giant cooling device in Florida?

It was a Miami heat fan.

An old man was on his deathbed at home.

Suddenly, the aroma of his favorite cookies baking in the oven wafted up to him. My wife, still a doll! With all his might he pulled himself out of bed and walked shakily down the stairs. Wavering down the hallway and into the kitchen, he sees the first batch cooling on the counter.

He slowly...

A man working at the Federal Reserve

A man working at the Federal Reserve was hired to manufacture pennies. On his first day, the supervisor walked him around the manufacturing area.

“This first machine melts down large blocks of metal. The liquid metal is then poured into a mold that makes a smaller block. That smaller block ...

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An engineer goes to hell...

Upset with the conditions in hell, the engineer decides to do something about it. The engineer adds running water to help keep the fires at down, creates an escalator and elevator system to help deal with all the stairs, adds central cooling to reduce the heat, and always continued to improve on the...

A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal raisin cookies cooking downstairs.

It takes all the strength he has left but he gets up from the bed and crawls down the stairs.

He sees the cookies cooling on the counter and staggers over to them. As he reaches for one, his wife's wrinkled hand reaches out, smacks his and she yells:

“No, you can't have those! They're ...

Long ago, when dinosaurs walked the earth,...

A young Tyrannosaurus Rex was out on the hunt when he stopped to take a drink from a nearby lake.

There, cooling off in the water, he saw the most beautiful Triceratops in all of Pangea. He asked her her name and invited her to go out hunting but she told him she wasn't really into that kind ...

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So this panda is driving down a road,

And he sees a prostitute standing on the corner, he thinks ' cor im gonna have some of that' and he stops to pick her up. 'Fancy a good time hun?'
'well i would, but im a panda and i dont have a house'
'i know a place' so he lets her in and they drive off. They get back to hers and make their ...

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Bernie Mac

I’m at a bar minding my business, cooling out, just being cool like I am, chillin’. Woman come to me, this is actually the goddamn thing she wanted to do.

She said, “Mac.”
I said, “Yeah, that’s my name.”
She said, “can I ask you a question?”
I said, “yeah.”
She said, “Does p...

Engineer goes to Hell...

The engineer looks around, confused, and sees that despite having lived what he felt was a pious and good life, he is in Hell.

Satan quickly introduces himself. "Welcome to Hell. I can't say i was expecting you, so i guess St. Peter made a mistake when he put you on the Hell list. I'll have ...

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Story of the fly

In the dead of summer, a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. A hot,dry fly who said to no one in particular, "Gosh...if I go down three inches...I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed."

There was a fish in the water thinking, "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inch...

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A bird is shivering on the fence of a barnhouse on a cold evening...

...A dog passes by, on seeing the bird grabbed it carefully with its teeth and places it in a heap of freshly laid cow dung on the floor of the barn an plodded off. The bird who was already cold became quite pissed at the dog, it tried to move but the dung was too thick. It then felt the warmth of t...

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My favorite Pirate joke my dad always tells

A young pirate is talking to an older pirate and he says, "wow how did you lose your hand?" pointing at the pirates hook.

"Arrr me young lad twas fighting off some scurvy attackers trying to take me ship and in the sword fight I got me hand cut off."


"Well how did you lose your leg...

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Two guys named Bob are walking by a nuclear reactor.

Bob starts talking about how his great uncle twice removed worked at a nuclear plant and grew an extra arm.
Other Bob says, "well that would be awesome, I could use an extra arm."
Bob says, "oh, I think it could only happen to me, it's in my genetics."
Other Bob gets mad. "Bullshit, I could...

Four engineers in a car driving down the highway...

Four engineers in a car driving down the highway.... A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, a thermodynamic engineer & a software engineer.

Suddenly the car isn't running right so they pull to the side of the road.

The mechanical engineers says "The engine sounds like it ha...

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Little Johnny is visiting his grandparents...

...during his summer vacation. The very first night after dinner he sees his grandpa enjoying a glass of scotch in his study. Johnny asks, "hey grandpa whatcha drinkin?" To which grandpa replies, "this is called whiskey Johnny." Johnny then asks, "can I try some?" With a smirk, Grandpa asks, "well, ...

The final cookie

A man near death smelled his wife baking his favorite cookies down stairs. He decided if he was going to go he would have one last cookie before he went. He dragged his mostly useless body down the stairs and crawled to the counter where he knew the cookies were on the cooling rack. As he reached fo...

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