One day, Deadpool joined the Avengers.

One day, Deadpool joined the Avengers. They traveled to a Hydra base surrounded by four barriers.

When they got to the first barrier, Hulk smashed it.

When they got to the second barrier, Tony Stark fired up his Iron Man suit and blasted a hole through it.

When they got to the t...

After building the wall, Trump to build an electromagnetic barrier to prevent foreign bees from entering the U.S. by sending waves that interfere with their communication.

Trump is strictly against Global Swarming

Civil engineer fired after forgetting how to design electricity-generating water barriers.

He lost his dam mind.

What do you call a water barrier constructed for rodents in the capital of the Netherlands?

An Amsterdam Hamster Dam

I asked the librarian if they had any books on language barriers.

She said, "What do you mean?"


I said, "Exactly."

What is the largest barrier to women’s advancement in the work place?

The wives of the men in hiring positions.

Great barrier reef

Otherwise known as my ex-wife's water bed

Great Barrier Reef is 'almost dead', say scientists

It is officially being downgraded to a "Good Barrier Reef".

Haters once said Chuck Yeager would never break the sound barrier...

But he made a Machery of them.

Some Muslim extremists just rammed a boat into the Thames Barrier.

Experts believe it's the start of Ramadam.

Muslim extremists have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London...

Police think it might be the early start of Ram-a-dam.

"If you work hard, you can break barriers."

- Kim Kardashian West (genuine quote)

Whenever I talk to a Mexican I feel like there's some kind of barrier between us

It's about 4 ft high, made of wood and there's usually a cash register on top of it.

Why did the shark cross the Great Barrier Reef?

...To get to the other tide!


Shark Week Hoo Ha Ha!

Smoked some weed the other night with some foreign dudes, massive language barrier...

We got Rosetta Stoned.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Famous people answer the ubiquitous question, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

**TEACHER**: To get to the other side.


**PLATO**: For the greater good.


**ARISTOTLE**: It is in the nature of chickens to cross roads.


**SOCRATES**: Why do you think the chicken crossed the road?


**HIPPOCRATES**: Because of an excess of phlegm in i...

A questionable article on marine biology goes viral.

"**New study reveals migrating Crows' droppings may be responsible for great barrier barrier reef bleaching**"

The article receives widespread criticism from the scientific community. Marine biologists across the globe insist that coralation does not imply Cawsality.

One day a young Buddhist on his journey

One day a young Buddhist on his journey home came to the banks of a wide river. Staring hopelessly at the great obstacle in front of him, he pondered for hours on just how to cross such a wide barrier.

Just as he was about to give up his pursuit to continue his journey he saw a great teacher ...

An Airbus A380 is on its way across the Atlantic.

It flies consistently at 907 km/h in 35,000 feet, when suddenly a Euro-fighter with Mach 2 appears.

The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot by radio: "Airbus flight, boring flight isn’t it? Take care and have a look here!”

​...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Up in the air

A Boeing 777 wide-body jetliner was lumbering along at 800km/hour at 33000 feet when a cocky F-16 fighter jet flashed by at Mach 2.

The F-16 pilot decided to show off.

On his state of the art radio that is part of his state of the art 3D and million dollar headset, the F-16 youngster...

The flea jumping competition begins

Fleas from all over the country have gathered here today to take part in the contest. Expect an incredible show.

=

Team 1 from Muts-4-homes Animal Shelter take the stage.

=

The team lines up on the platform...

=

6 --
5 --
...

A very beautiful women was depressed and wanted to kill herself

She goes to the overpass of a local highway to jump down 100 feet into a ravine. Before she could climb up the barrier, a disgusting and repulsive homeless man comes up and asks, "Hey what are you doing?!" The beautiful woman replied, "I am going to kill myself. This life isn't worth living anymore....

When do you start on red and stop on green?

When you're eating a watermelon!

I am totally not a racist but...

Compared to all the others types of races, I think the 400 meter hurdles present the most barriers for track athletes.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Proof that Santa doesn’t exists

There are about 2 billion children on earth. But Santa does not have to visit Muslims, Hindus, Jews or Buddhists, which reduces the number to 15% or 378 million. Thus, with a world average of 3.5 children per household, there are 108 million households to visit if we can assume that there are at le...

The dragon and the dwarf.

Sir Robin the brave set out to rescue the beautiful princess from the terrible dragon who had kidnapped her. He first went to the wizard who enchanted his armor to protect him from the dragon’s scorching flames. He then went to the blacksmith, who gave him a mighty sword with which to slay the foul ...

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Stupid ass physicist and engineers...

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A farmer separated the bulls and cows to prepare them for mating season.

The farmer constructed a wall of barbed wire to segregate the bulls and the cows.

A few days later One Bull was already feeling very Horny.

Other bulls told him that there was one Veteran Bull Consultant in the herd, who could help. The bull went to him & asked how to cross the ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Some great one-liners.

My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! Blow this, I thought. I can get one cheaper off the web.

I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

My neigh...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A YouTuber, a facebooker and a redditor walk down a street

A YouTuber, a facebooker and a redditor walk down a street. They come to a barrier with a police man. The officer says: "You shall only pass when the sum of the length of your three penises together is higher than 13 inches.







He pulls out a large ruler. At first, it's t...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Off in the English countryside, back behind the church, there lay a secluded stretch of river, set amidst the willows, which was reserved for clergymen who wished to bathe in the nude.

Prominent signs warned against trespassing, and barriers prevented boats and punts containing females from approaching this discreet section of the river.

One fateful Sunday afternoon, as the holy men laid on the bank, the river rose up. It washed away the signs and weakened the barriers, and...

11 Geeky Jokes

1. What does a subatomic duck say “Quark”.

2. Why did I divide Sin by Tan, Just Cos.

3. Why programmers like UNIX:
unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep

4. Why can’t you trust atoms, they make up everything.

5. A pen...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A wealthy man goes to Rome...

...in one of his finest suits the hope that when he visits the Vatican, he can be granted an audience with the Holy Father. During one of the Papal processions, he manages to make his way to the front of the barrier as the Pontiff walks past them. Instead, the Pope completely blanks the man, and sto...